Christ_empowered
Member
ugh. thanks for reading this, btw. and a special -thank you- to those of you who keep up with my many, many, many (on and on) posts. wait for it, wait for it...thank you. 
here's the thing...psychiatry is largely about control. no, this isn't antipsychiatry or whatever, its just...'the real world.' doubt me? go to a state hospital. never been to one myself (only private places, full of controlled substances and insurance fraud), but...
-ugh- the real face of psychiatry is best seen in places of confinement, and then by people who have no voice in society (often because of psychiatry, btw). blah blah blah...
so, you know how I am forever writing in about people yelling and intimidating me and...blah blah blah? yeah, its mostly from mental health, inc. I was apparently labeled as having 'oppositional defiant disorder' before I ever pursued psych 'treatment' voluntarily. truth? I just wasn't wanted in Honors classes (social class issues, homophobia...). anyway...
deep down miserable from being bullied and such during my HS years, I sought psych 'help...'
and now, at 36 years old, I'm labeled a "Schizophrenic, from a good family..."
truth? my parents are now somewhat well to do (read: not rich, I guess not really in the middle class for this area, either) and I've been chronically unemployed since age 17, largely because...
of the mental health industry. this isn't an antipsychiatry rant or whatever, just...well, by His grace, I have more memories, now. funny how involuntary shock 'treatments' often 'help'...other people, by rendering the person basically silenced, a stranger to his own life. blah. :-(
as I type this out, the upstairs people are talking loudly enough for me to overhear. this place is a mix of renters, people living in a unit they own, and people living in units owned by family. the walls aren't super duper thick, but they're 10x better than the rented apartments (all rentals) that I've lived in, in years past. the other thing there, is...
the times I heard mega-stomps? probably intentional. and the click-clack of some lady walking -hard- in heels on tile? probably deliberate. thing is...
stuff like this has been going on since before I graduated HS (I squeaked out at 16, I had to), and it intensified...once I began 'psychiatric treatment.' now, people openly talk about my HIV+ status and my former pill popping, and the labels and...and...
I"m pretty sure this is how shrinks treat -a lot - of people. ever notice the downward spiral, for psych patients? go to shrink. get pills. get sick. suicide, poverty, etc.? yeah...its not "the nature of the illness," it really is the way the mental health industry destroys lots and lots and lots people, every.single.day .
back to the title. a lot of psych 'treatment' is about simple punishment: reward. obviously, my 'treatment' has mostly been 'punishment.' 'rewards' can include higher doses of controlled substances, a less toxic psych drug, a reduction in dosage of the unpleasant drug(s) in a cocktail....
and 'punishment,' in my case, has included: over-billing, physical assault, insults, public humiliation, turning my parents against me, trying to have my parents fired from their careers, sharing my information with anyone who wants to listen, sending a bill for services i did not receive and then demanding immediate payment...
and withholding treatment for HIV+, involuntary shock 'treatments,' and...the lobotomy, over 10 years ago.
on the psychological end of things, 'punishment' has -routinely- involved neighbors being told to 'give him a hard time' (no, really) because I was 'non-compliant,' and...(I was actively gay, till Jesus worked in my life) sexual exploitation, complete with photographs and videos taken without my permission, and distributed to humiliate me. i suspect straight up rape, but...hey, i've been electroshocked for 'non-compliance,' so I'm socially a non-entity, now. blah.
this isn't an anti-psych screed, its just...God is showing me favor by allowing me to remember, being insulted at work with labels from my records, men trying to pick fights with me, people threatening to call the cops on me, 'he'll be dead in a year!' 'he gets azt from the health department!' on and on and on...
now, praise: The Lord lifted my parents' status a bit, spared me, and I had a lawyer in a criminal case related to all of this. I'm beginning to understand, now, 8 years into my walk with The Lord and 4 years after -early completion- of probation, why I was able to get a favorable plea bargain. the attorney spoke with my parents, never with me. all mama would tell me is that the shrink involved had already been cited for substandard treatment and that this doctor is vindictive and vile.
ok. plus side? no feces outside my front door, no one has beat me up, no arrests in over 8 years now. God is Good. God is Love. My parents...come in a not at all distant 2nd, amen.
I think I get it, better, now. that is an act of mercy from on high. In Christ...I have freedom and safety, too. ugh. avoid the mental health industry, if you can. way too easy to get in the door, much much much too difficult to find a safe exit. blah. :-(
ok. thanks.
here's the thing...psychiatry is largely about control. no, this isn't antipsychiatry or whatever, its just...'the real world.' doubt me? go to a state hospital. never been to one myself (only private places, full of controlled substances and insurance fraud), but...
-ugh- the real face of psychiatry is best seen in places of confinement, and then by people who have no voice in society (often because of psychiatry, btw). blah blah blah...
so, you know how I am forever writing in about people yelling and intimidating me and...blah blah blah? yeah, its mostly from mental health, inc. I was apparently labeled as having 'oppositional defiant disorder' before I ever pursued psych 'treatment' voluntarily. truth? I just wasn't wanted in Honors classes (social class issues, homophobia...). anyway...
deep down miserable from being bullied and such during my HS years, I sought psych 'help...'
and now, at 36 years old, I'm labeled a "Schizophrenic, from a good family..."
truth? my parents are now somewhat well to do (read: not rich, I guess not really in the middle class for this area, either) and I've been chronically unemployed since age 17, largely because...
of the mental health industry. this isn't an antipsychiatry rant or whatever, just...well, by His grace, I have more memories, now. funny how involuntary shock 'treatments' often 'help'...other people, by rendering the person basically silenced, a stranger to his own life. blah. :-(
as I type this out, the upstairs people are talking loudly enough for me to overhear. this place is a mix of renters, people living in a unit they own, and people living in units owned by family. the walls aren't super duper thick, but they're 10x better than the rented apartments (all rentals) that I've lived in, in years past. the other thing there, is...
the times I heard mega-stomps? probably intentional. and the click-clack of some lady walking -hard- in heels on tile? probably deliberate. thing is...
stuff like this has been going on since before I graduated HS (I squeaked out at 16, I had to), and it intensified...once I began 'psychiatric treatment.' now, people openly talk about my HIV+ status and my former pill popping, and the labels and...and...
I"m pretty sure this is how shrinks treat -a lot - of people. ever notice the downward spiral, for psych patients? go to shrink. get pills. get sick. suicide, poverty, etc.? yeah...its not "the nature of the illness," it really is the way the mental health industry destroys lots and lots and lots people, every.single.day .
back to the title. a lot of psych 'treatment' is about simple punishment: reward. obviously, my 'treatment' has mostly been 'punishment.' 'rewards' can include higher doses of controlled substances, a less toxic psych drug, a reduction in dosage of the unpleasant drug(s) in a cocktail....
and 'punishment,' in my case, has included: over-billing, physical assault, insults, public humiliation, turning my parents against me, trying to have my parents fired from their careers, sharing my information with anyone who wants to listen, sending a bill for services i did not receive and then demanding immediate payment...
and withholding treatment for HIV+, involuntary shock 'treatments,' and...the lobotomy, over 10 years ago.
on the psychological end of things, 'punishment' has -routinely- involved neighbors being told to 'give him a hard time' (no, really) because I was 'non-compliant,' and...(I was actively gay, till Jesus worked in my life) sexual exploitation, complete with photographs and videos taken without my permission, and distributed to humiliate me. i suspect straight up rape, but...hey, i've been electroshocked for 'non-compliance,' so I'm socially a non-entity, now. blah.
this isn't an anti-psych screed, its just...God is showing me favor by allowing me to remember, being insulted at work with labels from my records, men trying to pick fights with me, people threatening to call the cops on me, 'he'll be dead in a year!' 'he gets azt from the health department!' on and on and on...
now, praise: The Lord lifted my parents' status a bit, spared me, and I had a lawyer in a criminal case related to all of this. I'm beginning to understand, now, 8 years into my walk with The Lord and 4 years after -early completion- of probation, why I was able to get a favorable plea bargain. the attorney spoke with my parents, never with me. all mama would tell me is that the shrink involved had already been cited for substandard treatment and that this doctor is vindictive and vile.
ok. plus side? no feces outside my front door, no one has beat me up, no arrests in over 8 years now. God is Good. God is Love. My parents...come in a not at all distant 2nd, amen.
I think I get it, better, now. that is an act of mercy from on high. In Christ...I have freedom and safety, too. ugh. avoid the mental health industry, if you can. way too easy to get in the door, much much much too difficult to find a safe exit. blah. :-(
ok. thanks.
