Lost and confused feel raped of everything

[lostandconfused]

Wow it's crazy. My life. I met this girl and got married 2 years ago. She seems like the devil. I was on probation for something I didn't do. I violated well over a year ago went to jail got maxed out for my first dui 6 months because of not paying fines. We has an argument. I was trying to leave we were argueing she was really drunk I wasent just a little tipsy off some beer .05 alcohol test time the cops came. She wouldn't let me leave she bit me punched me scratched me all the physical marks were on me. She didn't have a scratch! neighbors called the cops. They asked me what happened. I said rough sex. She said I chocked her. I did grab her by the neck to stop the biting but no marks. They took me to jail... the whole time she said she loved me. During so she got a DUI herself totaled my car.. insurance claim I gave her the money for rent and a car herself. Got out and things felt weird so when she was gone iwent through a phone of hers she had... well she was cheating got pregnant everything! the guy was engaged too sick!... we split up after I found out. they dated things ended. she came back. I took her back 6 months later... she said she had lung cancer too which was probably a lie. Anyway, she wasen't paying insurance on her car. she was at my place one night thing were good. We went to get some food pulled over. they took her plate. Then we got insurance but her registration was suspended. So couldn't get a new plate for her. She has to go back to take her daughter to the doctor a couple days later. So I stole a licence plate and went with her. She took her .. then coming back her inspection was out. we were pulled over ha. Ran the plate I went to jail again. 2nd violation. 5 months. she stuck it out first few months.. then became distant.. I got out we had our day then she left me. a month later now she comes over high on drugs many drugs.. has sex with me then leaves she needs a divorce so she dosent have to pay for daycare. I filed my taxes girl they also works with her said she had a thing with a guy there. When I was in jail in her hometown guys in jail knew her and said she got around. I feel like I married a complete slut. But I love her. now shes not talkin to me .. im so lost. hurt.. betrayed... just gone nothing matters need advice help something

 

[lostandconfused]

my whole life ive beenalone just my mom cares. I came from Russia. Welcome to America lecrae.

 

[Kidron]

Hey,
thanks for coming here.

Listen.
No one is going to just take over your life for you and solve all your problems.
Ok?
That is not how it works.
That is not the real world.
And after reading about your recent experiences, its obvious that your life has no structure, it has no foundation, it has no direction, and that is why you feel like you are just being tossed around by life.
Also, you are trying to use this girl to solve your life issue, and that is not going to work.
She cant help you, and things with her are not going to really improve, until you get some issues in your world settled down.

You need to do 3 things, immediately.

1st, ....you need to find some employment and get an income so that you have some money stability.
2nd, ....you need to find a church that has a strong outreach ministry, or even a street ministry, and you need to get with them and become constantly involved so that you life has a way to settle down and calm down and go FORWARD instead of just drowning.
You might try a Catholic church, or a Baptist church.
Get a phone book, find one of these churches that is near you, and call them ASAP, and talk to someone there and they should be able to begin the process of getting you some help.
3rd,... There are friendly "help" crisis lines to call in your area. Usually, they are a part of a hospital, but whatever, find a "crisis" prevention number and call someone and just talk to them....as they are skilled in helping you get assistance.
Your problems are actually pretty normal and not too big to solve..., but you have to start the process to get them solved, and not just keep doing what you are doing, that isn't working.

Try ALL those thing, and dont just sit there.
Reach out to the local church.
Find some employment.
Call a Crisis "hotline" prevention number,

• Call 775-784-8090

and start to get yourself going foward, instead of just freaking out while doing things that are not helping your life.


K