Matthew 12:40

So in order to meet those specifics, the phrase "on the third day" would have to mean "on the third day after the crucifixion" with the word "after" being implied.
No. It would have to mean "On the third day."
The day of the crucifixion is the first day. The Sabbath is the second day. And the day of his resurrection is the third day.
"The third day since these things happened" does not require that it be understood as the third day after the day on which these things happened.

How is it that the Church has maintained that Jesus was crucified on Friday and raised on Sunday for the past 2000 years and suddenly you have discovered that they have all been wrong? What an astounding development! Everyone but you was wrong for the past 2000 years!

Yer, somehow, I remain unconvinced.
 
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