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sushilp3585

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Here is a little background. When I was married, I had cheated on my wife and I am the one who suggested getting a divorce. Not because of me cheating on her, but because I could not handle her. However, in the end, she is the one who filed for divorce (I was going to file but due to circumstances, she ended up doing the paperwork.) Therefore, according to the scripture in Matthew 5 verses 31-32, can I get remarried? The marriage did...break? I guess is the word but I did not end the relationship because of adultery.

Another question I have is if I cannot remarry, is it a coincidence that after being in 4 relationships while the divorce was being processed and went bad, I do not see myself wanting another relationship or getting married again?
 

JLB

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Here is a little background. When I was married, I had cheated on my wife and I am the one who suggested getting a divorce. Not because of me cheating on her, but because I could not handle her. However, in the end, she is the one who filed for divorce (I was going to file but due to circumstances, she ended up doing the paperwork.) Therefore, according to the scripture in Matthew 5 verses 31-32, can I get remarried? The marriage did...break? I guess is the word but I did not end the relationship because of adultery.

Another question I have is if I cannot remarry, is it a coincidence that after being in 4 relationships while the divorce was being processed and went bad, I do not see myself wanting another relationship or getting married again?


Take some time and seek the Lord and ask Him to deliver you from adulterous tendencies. As a single person you will find yourself growing in the Lord.


God bless you as you seek His will for your life.





JLB
 

for_his_glory

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This is what I studied and wrote before I filed for divorced from my second husband for his unfaithfulness towards me. Hope it helps.

Even with the laws God gave to Moses for the people, mans sin hardened hearts now turned to fornication, lust of self and covertness of others property including another mans wife. New laws were added continuously for the transgressions of man and this is how we got the law for divorce which was handed down by Moses in Deuteronomy 24:1-4.

1 Corinthians 7:10, Jesus commands the woman not to leave her husband and if she does she should remain unmarried, but in Malachi 2:10-16 the treachery that man commits against a woman which leads him to have an affair outside of the marriage or abuses the wife whether it be physical or emotional gives place to what was said by Moses in Deuteronomy 24:1-4 that if a woman is no longer pleasing to her husband then the husband should give his wife a written bill of divorcement and send her out of the house and this gives the woman the right to marry again, but she can never go back to her former husband if that marriage does not work out or her husband dies for now she is defiled to be with her first husband and this is an abomination to God.

For a good marriage to work one should study 2 Corinthians 6:14 be ye not unequally yoked together with non-believers for what fellowship hath righteous with unrighteous, and what communion has light with darkness. If you are a believer in Jesus Christ then you need to choose a mate that also believes in the faith of Christ. In some marriages people do not enter into a relationship with Christ being the center of it, but maybe one of them come to know the Lord and the other one refuses to have that personal relationship with Christ then we go back to what 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 says. If the unbelieving partner leaves the believing partner then this frees the believing partner from the bondage of the vows of marriage and they are free to marry again.


 

stovebolts

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Therefore, according to the scripture in Matthew 5 verses 31-32, can I get remarried? The marriage did...break? I guess is the word but I did not end the relationship because of adultery.

Divorce NIV​

31 “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Jesus was talking to Jews and was addressing the law of Moses which was shaped by culture. As you should notice, the verse starts with the man giving his wife a certificate of divorce. This also applies if the wife is seeking divorce. We have modern judges that issue certificates of divorce today, even if the husband refuses where in Jewish law, the man was directed to give the certificate.

Second, because you committed adultery and not her, she is free to remarry and is not an adulterous.

You, however are an adulterous because it was you who committed adultery, which gave her grounds for divorce. So in fact, it was you who ended the marriage the moment you betrayed your wife by sleeping with a woman who was not your wife. She was within her right to seek a certificate of divorce from you and you were obligated to give it to her.

I hope you see that Jesus teaching on divorce in Matthew 5 is centered on infidelity within the marriage. The, “You have heard it said”, comes from the teachings of a well known Rabbi named Hillel and his school of thought on Jewish Law. Interesting enough, Jesus sides with Hillel on every teaching except divorce. Hillel basically taught that a man could divorce his wife for any reason, big or small. Don’t like her cooking? Get a divorce.

Jesus is saying that if a man divorces his wife because he doesn’t like the way she makes toast, then he makes her an adulterous if she remarries another after he issues a certificate of divorce.

The point of Jesus teaching is this. Our sin affects those around us and can lead others into sin. Earlier in Jesus sermon, he talks about murder, and adultery and the courts with his focus on reconciliation. You want to avoid the courts and seek reconciliation.

So the way I understand these passages, they really don’t address your question about getting married again.

Your question should now become this. Since I’ve committed adultery, can I be forgiven and can I get married again.

I would answer the first part like this.

A woman caught in Adultery was brought to Jesus. By law, the man was also to be brought but wasn’t. The teachers of the law asked him what should be done with her. Jesus, knowing the law understood that both man and woman were to be brought together in order to be stoned. So by default those who wished to stone her would be in violation of the law themselves if they stoned her without also stoning the man. As a result Jesus says, “those without sin, cast the first stone”.

This is a reminder to all of us who pass unrighteousness judgment or use scripture inappropriately. It’s about trying to persecute others with half truths, or half the facts or scapegoating one guilty party in order to protect the other guilty party.

And so it is Jesus tells the woman caught in her sexual act with another that he does not condemn her, but he says something that should shake each of us to our core.

Jesus says, “Go, and sin no more lest something worse happens to you”.

Can you be forgiven of adultery? Absolutely for there are no sins that cannot be forgiven except blasphemy against the Holy Spirit.

But just because we can be forgiven does not mean we are not accountable for our sin. So we need to heed Jesus word when he says sin no more, or something worse will happen to you,

Yes, you can remarry and Paul encourages marriage if one has sexual desires they cannot hold in, but you have to stop this sinful behavior which Jesus addresses in Matthew 5 where your even looking at other women as sex objects, otherwise your next marriage will be worse than your first and that’s not what God wants for you. He wants good things for you.

So the next question is this. Do you want to stop sinning which only brings about pain, hurt, loss, strife and bad feelings? Or do you want happiness and everlasting joy that comes through obedience to Gods word?

Jesus words are not burdensome. Yes, he says to stop living in sexual sin, but it’s not to keep you away from pleasure. Instead, it’s to show you the way that brings a pleasure that is 10 fold the so called pleasure we think we get from sin.
 

sushilp3585

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Divorce NIV​

31 “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Jesus was talking to Jews and was addressing the law of Moses which was shaped by culture. As you should notice, the verse starts with the man giving his wife a certificate of divorce. This also applies if the wife is seeking divorce. We have modern judges that issue certificates of divorce today, even if the husband refuses where in Jewish law, the man was directed to give the certificate.

Second, because you committed adultery and not her, she is free to remarry and is not an adulterous.

You, however are an adulterous because it was you who committed adultery, which gave her grounds for divorce. So in fact, it was you who ended the marriage the moment you betrayed your wife by sleeping with a woman who was not your wife. She was within her right to seek a certificate of divorce from you and you were obligated to give it to her.

I hope you see that Jesus teaching on divorce in Matthew 5 is centered on infidelity within the marriage. The, “You have heard it said”, comes from the teachings of a well known Rabbi named Hillel and his school of thought on Jewish Law. Interesting enough, Jesus sides with Hillel on every teaching except divorce. Hillel basically taught that a man could divorce his wife for any reason, big or small. Don’t like her cooking? Get a divorce.

Jesus is saying that if a man divorces his wife because he doesn’t like the way she makes toast, then he makes her an adulterous if she remarries another after he issues a certificate of divorce.

The point of Jesus teaching is this. Our sin affects those around us and can lead others into sin. Earlier in Jesus sermon, he talks about murder, and adultery and the courts with his focus on reconciliation. You want to avoid the courts and seek reconciliation.

So the way I understand these passages, they really don’t address your question about getting married again.

Your question should now become this. Since I’ve committed adultery, can I be forgiven and can I get married again.

I would answer the first part like this.

A woman caught in Adultery was brought to Jesus. By law, the man was also to be brought but wasn’t. The teachers of the law asked him what should be done with her. Jesus, knowing the law understood that both man and woman were to be brought together in order to be stoned. So by default those who wished to stone her would be in violation of the law themselves if they stoned her without also stoning the man. As a result Jesus says, “those without sin, cast the first stone”.

This is a reminder to all of us who pass unrighteousness judgment or use scripture inappropriately. It’s about trying to persecute others with half truths, or half the facts or scapegoating one guilty party in order to protect the other guilty party.

And so it is Jesus tells the woman caught in her sexual act with another that he does not condemn her, but he says something that should shake each of us to our core.

Jesus says, “Go, and sin no more lest something worse happens to you”.

Can you be forgiven of adultery? Absolutely for there are no sins that cannot be forgiven except blasphemy against the Holy Spirit.

But just because we can be forgiven does not mean we are not accountable for our sin. So we need to hButeed Jesus word when he says sin no more, or something worse will happen to you,

Yes, you can remarry and Paul encourages marriage if one has sexual desires they cannot hold in, but you have to stop this sinful behavior which Jesus addresses in Matthew 5 where your even looking at other women as sex objects, otherwise your next marriage will be worse than your first and that’s not what God wants for you. He wants good things for you.

So the next question is this. Do you want to stop sinning which only brings about pain, hurt, loss, strife and bad feelings? Or do you want happiness and everlasting joy that comes through obedience to Gods word?

Jesus words are not burdensome. Yes, he says to stop living in sexual sin, but it’s not to keep you away from pleasure. Instead, it’s to show you the way that brings a pleasure that is 10 fold the so called pleasure we think we get from sin.
But we cannot sin which is why we have a savior in the first place. So how do we stop sinning? Maybe I misunderstood that part.
 

stovebolts

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But we cannot sin which is why we have a savior in the first place.
Two thoughts on your statement.
1. NIV 1John 1
8 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us.

Matthew 3
Produce fruit in keeping with repentance. 9 And do not think you can say to yourselves, ‘We have Abraham as our father.’ I tell you that out of these stones God can raise up children for Abraham.10 The ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.

2. My first assumption was your treating Jesusxas an object instead of a relationship. He is not a get out of jail free card. God is love, and He desires a deep relationship with you. There is a way to live that leads to life, and a way to live that leads to death. How we live matters.

e. So how do we stop sinning? Maybe I misunderstood that part.
NIV Luke 3 10
What should we do then?” the crowd asked.

11 John answered, “Anyone who has two shirts should share with the one who has none, and anyone who has food should do the same.”

12 Even tax collectors came to be baptized. “Teacher,” they asked, “what should we do?”

13 “Don’t collect any more than you are required to,” he told them.

14 Then some soldiers asked him, “And what should we do?”

He replied, “Don’t extort money and don’t accuse people falsely—

For you, you need to start telling the truth and you must not have sex with another woman who is not your wife. Do not look on a woman with lustful eyes.

Treat women with honor, and seek an honest friendship with them.
 

sushilp3585

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Two thoughts on your statement.
1. NIV 1John 1
8 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us.

Matthew 3
Produce fruit in keeping with repentance. 9 And do not think you can say to yourselves, ‘We have Abraham as our father.’ I tell you that out of these stones God can raise up children for Abraham.10 The ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.

2. My first assumption was your treating Jesusxas an object instead of a relationship. He is not a get out of jail free card. God is love, and He desires a deep relationship with you. There is a way to live that leads to life, and a way to live that leads to death. How we live matters.


NIV Luke 3 10
What should we do then?” the crowd asked.

11 John answered, “Anyone who has two shirts should share with the one who has none, and anyone who has food should do the same.”

12 Even tax collectors came to be baptized. “Teacher,” they asked, “what should we do?”

13 “Don’t collect any more than you are required to,” he told them.

14 Then some soldiers asked him, “And what should we do?”

He replied, “Don’t extort money and don’t accuse people falsely—

For you, you need to start telling the truth and you must not have sex with another woman who is not your wife. Do not look on a woman with lustful eyes.

Treat women with honor, and seek an honest friendship with them.
Could you please explain #2 again for me please. If it is private, feel free to message me. I feel that is important since you are saying that I am treating Jesus as an object. I want to make sure I understand that fully.
 

stovebolts

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Could you please explain #2 again for me please. If it is private, feel free to message me. I feel that is important since you are saying that I am treating Jesus as an object. I want to make sure I understand that fully.
Good morning.
I want to take a step back, if you’ll allow me.
I said, “My first assumption…”. Assumptions can be dangerous, especially if our assumptions are wrong, so please know that the relationship you have with our Lord can’t be fully known with just a few brief words. I can just as easily say that I don’t make messes in the house, that’s what I have a wife for. By speaking this way about both my house and my wife, those words deny the fact that I do on occasion make a mess but that denial is compounded with the idea that my wife is coming behind me cleaning up all my messes which in essence reduces her to a maid. So, when I look back, the illusion that I don’t make any messes is affirmed.

In real life, I do make an occasional mess. I try not to willingly make a mess, like leaving my dirty clothes on the floor. Instead, I try to put them in the hamper. And when the hamper is full, I take it to the laundry room. Likewise, when dinner is over, I take my plate to the sink, and I help my wife clean up the kitchen.

There are occasional mishaps where I am not paying attention and I spill something, or it even gets broken. I do my best to help clean it up and fix it. But what I want to point out, is that I don’t leave these things for my wife to do and more often than not, we each take a part in keeping our home clean. We each play a role in keeping the home clean are often found side by side.

For example, I clear the table and wipe off the stove etc while she is putting dishes in the dishwasher. I put what food I can away like milk, juice, dressings etc and she finds the perfect container for leftovers etc. what I am trying to illustrate is we each have our roles and working together, our house stays clean.

Your relationship with God is similar. You have a part in the relationship and he has a part in the relationship and in that way, your working side by side with God to keep your “house” clean and functioning properly. You wouldn’t reduce your marriage to your wife being your maid, and in the same manner, you wouldn’t reduce God to simply being one who forgives your sins because there are so many other things that go into having a healthy relationship.

Again, my assumption was just that, so many of the things I said, you may already doing and in part, I’m just rambling. So please don’t take my words as insinuating things about you that are not true or mischaracterize you. If you feel I have inadvertently done this to you, please forgive me as it was not my intent.
 

sushilp3585

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Good morning.
I want to take a step back, if you’ll allow me.
I said, “My first assumption…”. Assumptions can be dangerous, especially if our assumptions are wrong, so please know that the relationship you have with our Lord can’t be fully known with just a few brief words. I can just as easily say that I don’t make messes in the house, that’s what I have a wife for. By speaking this way about both my house and my wife, those words deny the fact that I do on occasion make a mess but that denial is compounded with the idea that my wife is coming behind me cleaning up all my messes which in essence reduces her to a maid. So, when I look back, the illusion that I don’t make any messes is affirmed.

In real life, I do make an occasional mess. I try not to willingly make a mess, like leaving my dirty clothes on the floor. Instead, I try to put them in the hamper. And when the hamper is full, I take it to the laundry room. Likewise, when dinner is over, I take my plate to the sink, and I help my wife clean up the kitchen.

There are occasional mishaps where I am not paying attention and I spill something, or it even gets broken. I do my best to help clean it up and fix it. But what I want to point out, is that I don’t leave these things for my wife to do and more often than not, we each take a part in keeping our home clean. We each play a role in keeping the home clean are often found side by side.

For example, I clear the table and wipe off the stove etc while she is putting dishes in the dishwasher. I put what food I can away like milk, juice, dressings etc and she finds the perfect container for leftovers etc. what I am trying to illustrate is we each have our roles and working together, our house stays clean.

Your relationship with God is similar. You have a part in the relationship and he has a part in the relationship and in that way, your working side by side with God to keep your “house” clean and functioning properly. You wouldn’t reduce your marriage to your wife being your maid, and in the same manner, you wouldn’t reduce God to simply being one who forgives your sins because there are so many other things that go into having a healthy relationship.

Again, my assumption was just that, so many of the things I said, you may already doing and in part, I’m just rambling. So please don’t take my words as insinuating things about you that are not true or mischaracterize you. If you feel I have inadvertently done this to you, please forgive me as it was not my intent.
No, you didn't and the truth is supposed to hurt; at least I think so. You are right that assumptions are dangerous, however, if it was then I shouldn't be mad at you for it. I should ignore you. Anyways, thanks for taking your time out of your day to explain. You did touch on a bit because I believe I did that with my past relationships even though I did let them know before that I am not a cleaning person. I am a messy person but not to a point where I look like a hoarder. Not trying to justify me, just saying...In any case, I do not do that with God though. I do not take him for granted his forgiveness and this is why I am dying inside. I am not worried about me womanizing (if that is the proper word for it) at the moment as there are more damaging sins than that. Yes, it is important and I should not do that but that can be worked on later. That is what I believe but what do I know. That is why I am praying for a changed heart but nothing yet. I am just doing it because I do not want to break the covenant as he would do the same if I chose to walk out once more. I say I love God but if I just left because he didn't do what I asked him to, then I would be a hypocrite. I do not want to be one. I am just stuck whether he wants me to step in faith and try to take measures on fixing my addiction myself or if he will do it for me. In sermons, pastors say if we do things ourselves, we make a mess of it and leave it in God's hands. Scripture says if I ask, I'll receive. Others say that you have to take measures to yourself because faith alone will not do it. One thing that sucks about scriptures and being a Christian, at least for me, is that there isn't one clear answer and it's just frustrating. Either way, I will end the reply here as I am just babbling at this point. Thanks again.
 

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One thing that sucks about scriptures and being a Christian, at least for me, is that there isn't one clear answer and it's just frustrating. Either way, I will end the reply here as I am just babbling at this point. Thanks again.
Before I reply to the above quote, first let me say thank you for being so open and sharing what you’ve shared. You’ve opened yourself up to be vulnerable, and I will not knowingly hurt you. Thank you for your trust.

Scripture is to be discerned, because God wants us to be wise. People who blindly follow rules may have knowledge, but they lack wisdom. Think of scripture as a toolbox full of tools. They help you build a comfortable, yet solid home. They are not the home in and of themselves.

Which brings me to this. There are many homes in Gods house. I can explain later if needed. But for the sake of not going down a bunny trail in Exodus when Moses is talking to God and God is sending him to the Elders of Israel in Egypt, Moses asks, “And who should I say sent me?”. God replied, “Tell them I AM has sent you”.

There is much we could say on this, but the Jews understand this as God saying, “I will be who you need me to be.”.

There will be times when you will be called to sit and be quiet and God will use others around you and there will be a time when God will push you out of the nest like a bird pushes her chicks out so you will learn to fly and mature. This is different for each of us, which is why discernment is required.

Discernment only comes when your living out your faith which causes us to grow and mature. How that plays out is different in each of our lives because God has called us to different tasks, all for the purpose of glorifying Him by becoming living testimonies to His goodness in our lives.

Living out our faith can be scary at times and it can really challenge us. But it’s to grow us and mature us, so when you step out on faith that Gods way is better than your own way and start living it, you’ll taste His goodness and it becomes easier and easier as God transforms us into His purpose for our lives.
 

WIP

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sushilp3585. I've seen this anecdote a few times and every time I see it, it rings a loud bell of truth. It's a little humorous but I think the message is clear.

A fellow was stuck on his rooftop in a flood. He was praying to God for help.
Soon a man in a rowboat came by and the fellow shouted to the man on the roof, “Jump in, I can save you.”
The stranded fellow shouted back, “No, it’s OK, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me.”
So the rowboat went on.
Then a motorboat came by. “The fellow in the motorboat shouted, “Jump in, I can save you.”
To this the stranded man said, “No thanks, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith.”
So the motorboat went on.
Then a helicopter came by and the pilot shouted down, “Grab this rope and I will lift you to safety.”
To this the stranded man again replied, “No thanks, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith.”
So the helicopter reluctantly flew away.
Soon the water rose above the rooftop and the man drowned. He went to Heaven. He finally got his chance to discuss this whole situation with God, at which point he exclaimed, “I had faith in you but you didn’t save me, you let me drown. I don’t understand why!”

To this God replied, “I sent you a rowboat and a motorboat and a helicopter, what more did you expect?”

Something to think about with regards to dealing with sin by yourself. There's a reason for Christian fellowship and why Scripture instructs us to confess our sins to one another (James 5:16) as you have been doing. Finding someone to be accountable to can be a great help.
 

sushilp3585

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sushilp3585. I've seen this anecdote a few times and every time I see it, it rings a loud bell of truth. It's a little humorous but I think the message is clear.

A fellow was stuck on his rooftop in a flood. He was praying to God for help.
Soon a man in a rowboat came by and the fellow shouted to the man on the roof, “Jump in, I can save you.”
The stranded fellow shouted back, “No, it’s OK, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me.”
So the rowboat went on.
Then a motorboat came by. “The fellow in the motorboat shouted, “Jump in, I can save you.”
To this the stranded man said, “No thanks, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith.”
So the motorboat went on.
Then a helicopter came by and the pilot shouted down, “Grab this rope and I will lift you to safety.”
To this the stranded man again replied, “No thanks, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith.”
So the helicopter reluctantly flew away.
Soon the water rose above the rooftop and the man drowned. He went to Heaven. He finally got his chance to discuss this whole situation with God, at which point he exclaimed, “I had faith in you but you didn’t save me, you let me drown. I don’t understand why!”

To this God replied, “I sent you a rowboat and a motorboat and a helicopter, what more did you expect?”

Something to think about with regards to dealing with sin by yourself. There's a reason for Christian fellowship and why Scripture instructs us to confess our sins to one another (James 5:16) as you have been doing. Finding someone to be accountable to can be a great help.
So you are saying that I should have a fellow christian human to hold me accountable with my sin(s)? By the way, I think I have heard this story before too; it rings a bell.
 

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So you are saying that I should have a fellow christian human to hold me accountable with my sin(s)? By the way, I think I have heard this story before too; it rings a bell.
Scripture tells us to confess our sins to one another and to God.

Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed.
James 5:16 NKJV

Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
Galatians 6:1-2 NKJV

My little children, these things I write to you, so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.
2 John 2:1 NKJV

If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1:8-9 NKJV
 

sushilp3585

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Scripture tells us to confess our sins to one another and to God.

Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed.
James 5:16 NKJV

Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
Galatians 6:1-2 NKJV

My little children, these things I write to you, so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.
2 John 2:1 NKJV

If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1:8-9 NKJV
But what about having a brother in Christ hold me accountable for my sin? Meaning if I gave him access to my computer so that he can see if I had been tempted by my sin. At least that is what I thought you meant when you said "Finding someone to be accountable to can be a great help." You are not the first one that had said that that could help me with my temptations. But I am conflicted because that is not leaving it to God's hand, you are taking care of it on your own. Yes, God can use that situation to still heal you, but I always have thought that we are suppose to pray and wait. It could also be like that flood story too though. This is where I am confused and lost.
 

stovebolts

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but I always have thought that we are suppose to pray and wait. It could also be like that flood story too though. This is where I am confused and lost.
Again, sometimes we pray and wait, and other times we pray and are called into action. This calls for discernment.
In this case, if you're waiting for these "feelings" and "urges" to be taken away from you, you will probably be "waiting" a long, long time until you are old and grey, and your eyesight is gone. Hoewver, you can start to change your feelings and curb your urges based on what you do right now. If you want to change the way your "feeling", then start by changing what you are "doing" and that will empower you to curb the "urges" that are leading you into sin and preventing you from experiencing the Joy our Lord has in store for you.
 

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But I am conflicted because that is not leaving it to God's hand,
This brings us back to that humorous anecdote I shared earlier. So do you believe we have no part in it? That our responsibility is to continue moving forward as we have always been and just wait for God to step in? When Jesus began His ministry what was one of the first things He preached?

Now when Jesus heard that John had been put in prison, He departed to Galilee. And leaving Nazareth, He came and dwelt in Capernaum, which is by the sea, in the regions of Zebulun and Naphtali, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by Isaiah the prophet, saying:

“The land of Zebulun and the land of Naphtali,
By the way of the sea, beyond the Jordan,
Galilee of the Gentiles:
The people who sat in darkness have seen a great light,
And upon those who sat in the region and shadow of death
Light has dawned.”

From that time Jesus began to preach and to say, “
Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.
Matthew 4:12-17 NKJV
Also Mark 1:14-15


Here are some more commands from Jesus.

There were present at that season some who told Him about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mingled with their sacrifices. And Jesus answered and said to them, “Do you suppose that these Galileans were worse sinners than all other Galileans, because they suffered such things? I tell you, no; but unless you repent you will all likewise perish. Or those eighteen on whom the tower in Siloam fell and killed them, do you think that they were worse sinners than all other men who dwelt in Jerusalem? I tell you, no; but unless you repent you will all likewise perish.”
Luke 13:1-5 NKJV

“To the angel of the church of Ephesus write,
‘These things says He who holds the seven stars in His right hand, who walks in the midst of the seven golden lampstands: “I know your works, your labor, your patience, and that you cannot bear those who are evil. And you have tested those who say they are apostles and are not, and have found them liars; and you have persevered and have patience, and have labored for My name’s sake and have not become weary. Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place—unless you repent."

Revelation 2:1-5 NKJV
He repeats this command to the church in Pergamos in Revelation 2:16 and again to the church in Thyatira in Revelation 2:21 & 22.

Repent! That is a command from God.
 

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i do not get this at all. That is all I have to say
I think it can be summed up this way.
God desires that all be saved and that we live full and good lives. He promises us that he will never leave or foresake us and when we go through tough times, he is there with us to show us the way. He doesn’t leave us.

Sometimes we get ourselves in trouble by doing things that are contrary to Gods way and we suffer for it. There are consequences for our actions. Repenting is just a fancy word that basically means to stop doing abc and start doing xyz. That means if we lie, then start telling the truth. If we steal, then get a job and help those in need. It’s basically stopping behavior that will never truly satisfy us and take on new behaviors that will.

Sometimes we don’t know what to do and we only know what we’re not supposed to do. This leaves a vaccume that if not filled, will only result in falling back to our old ways and we will be worse off than when we started.

It’s these times of situations where we are stuck that we wait upon the Lord. We know what we’re not supposed to do, but we don’t know what to do in order to fill the void. In these times, we go to God in prayer to show us His way and we listen to his voice. We enter into scripture seeking resolution and direction and once we know Gods way, we put it in action and begin to live it out.

When we falter, we seek forgiveness, and with the help from God, we are put back on our feet and we move forward.
 

WIP

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i do not get this at all. That is all I have to say
Please don't misunderstand me. I was/am not trying to cut you down or put you on the defensive. I'm trying to show you what we are instructed according to the Word of God.

It's not easy. Jesus said following Him will be difficult but not impossible for with God anything is possible (Matthew 19:26) and He will not let us be tempted beyond what we are able but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that we may be able to bear it. (1 Corinthians 10:13).

Continue to fight the good fight as Paul put it. Look to God for your strength to overcome sin.
 

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But what about having a brother in Christ hold me accountable for my sin? Meaning if I gave him access to my computer so that he can see if I had been tempted by my sin. At least that is what I thought you meant when you said "Finding someone to be accountable to can be a great help." You are not the first one that had said that that could help me with my temptations. But I am conflicted because that is not leaving it to God's hand, you are taking care of it on your own. Yes, God can use that situation to still heal you, but I always have thought that we are suppose to pray and wait. It could also be like that flood story too though. This is where I am confused and lost.
First off, Christians (even mature ones) can and do sin. If someone told you otherwise, either they lied to you or were seriously mistaken in their doctrine.

Second, our entire walk is not a "me and Jesus" kind of thing. It is and always has been a community endeavor. So a brother holding you accountable is NOT taking it out of God's hands. Our Lord said this:

Matthew 11:28-30
“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”


The yoke bound 2 cattle, oxen or horses together to do a job. The Lord's yoke is easy because He does the heavy lifting. But we are in that yoke too. We do have to pull our share. As John Wesley put it:

"There is God's part and there is our part. God WILL NOT do our part and we cannot do God's part."

Having an accountability partner helps with our part.
 
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