Monologue of repented look warm christian

[diviana]

It feels just like yesterday ... when i wanted to do something in my life, wanted to be someone that God could work through ... i was so young. I remember I just accepted Him in my life, and i was filled with love and passion for Him. I thought I could actually do anything ... anything through Him and for Him. But now, all that it feels like it's gone. Who am i again? What am i doing with my life? Where am i headed at? I am disgusted of all these masks i wear every single day ... even though my heart is sinking in these salted water, i show real happiness and self content to others, why, you ask? Well it's obvious i do not want to be left alone ... i hate loneliness, i hate it when no one talks to me or feels sorry for me. I want to be recognized as someone that others can look up to. It's just a broken heart ... nothing else. When i think what a look warm christian I've become, it makes me feel so ashamed of myself ... but in a way, that's the only way to be these days ...
Am I lost? Was I found? What am I going to become?
I stand here in the darkness of my life ... I've become everything I hated. If i am not brought to spiritual life ... i might as well die in the real life.
God ... bring me again to where you want me to be. God ... help me to be what you wanted me to be ...

 

[Haelo]

wow...great read...many christians find themselves in the same or similar mindset...But through God, we can identify it as the lies of the enemy...being luke warm is a choice, not a destiny...meaning that God has always called us to be greater, and has His hand extended for us, just waiting for us to reach for him.