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My Fiancé is Struggling with God

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I have been in a relationship now for 6 years, we are engaged. When we first started dating, he said he was a believer and was even involved with a church / lead music.

Last year, he opened up and said he believed he had never had a conversion experience - he was just raised to believe and has prayed for years for God to reveal Himself…but He still has not. This was not easy for him, it was and still is very painful. The main thing that made him realize this was my own conversion / testimony, because I had a genuine experience and was changed that very day, and I was not raised to believe anything and actually had an extreme aversion to any religion.

While I am thankful he is now being truthful with where he is spiritually, I am also deeply saddened because now God and the Bible are topics that upset him. He is still willing to discuss it, to an extent, but he has been hurt by churches and their misguided ideologies, and also doesn’t understand why God would ignore him since he has literally begged God to show him the truth of His existence nearly his whole life. He is angry with God because of this and because of all the horrible things that happen on earth; he has a very hard time reconciling a loving God with the state of the world and the depravity of human history, and because no matter how much he asks, God has still not revealed Himself.

I suppose I am asking for prayer, and any advice on things I could say from time to time that might be helpful…because he does truly want to know God, but simply is being honest about not being born again…and it hurts me that something that brings me endless joy, brings him so much pain. I do love him and will not be leaving him. Morally he behaves better than most people who claim to be Christian, and we share common core values and interests, as in quite literally all of them except God currently..and he does not belittle me for my faith, rather he says he hopes God shows Himself to him like He did me. He is a rock in my life and my daughter’s life (I was in an abusive marriage before - and we had a child together.)

He’s a beautiful soul that is suffering…and I often feel powerless but I know this is between him and God…but it does hurt in more ways than one.

Thanks for reading.
 
Sorry I posted this in prayer forum because it looked like it had been deleted from this one, I assumed it was because of some “singles” rule or something. So I posted in the prayer forum - buuut here it is now and I can’t find a delete button 😂
 
doesn’t understand why God would ignore him since he has literally begged God to show him the truth of His existence nearly his whole life. He is angry with God because of this and because of all the horrible things that happen on earth; he has a very hard time reconciling a loving God with the state of the world and the depravity of human history, and because no matter how much he asks, God has still not revealed Himself.

The latter is probably happening because of the former. If his heart has been hardened against God because of the things He has allowed to happen in the earth, that conversation would likely not go well if they actually met, so the Lord is likely putting it off until a time when your fiancé is ready to believe He is indeed a God of love, in spite of those things happening.
I suppose I am asking for prayer, and any advice on things I could say from time to time that might be helpful…

Two things.

1. Pray for the supernatural gifts of God to manifest through you on his behalf. If he is asking for God to prove Himself, then that is what he may need to see.

2. If not through yourself, pray the Lord used others prophetically to prove His existence to your fiancé. This is indeed happening in this day and age, only not a lot of people are vessels for the Lord to do so. But it is happening.

I will try to pray He helps you, and God bless you in your efforts to help the man you are engaged to.
- H
 
The latter is probably happening because of the former. If his heart has been hardened against God because of the things He has allowed to happen in the earth, that conversation would likely not go well if they actually met, so the Lord is likely putting it off until a time when your fiancé is ready to believe He is indeed a God of love, in spite of those things happening.


I have told him these things. And he hears me out. He just continues to stay in that mindset. Thank you SO much for your thoughtful response! ❤️
 
You hail from another forum, Ma'am?

No I just meant I posted this on another one here - it vanished so I thought it was deleted - and that maybe it fit better in prayer one. But then it reappeared for some reason. Just saying sorry I posted this twice in different areas here but I can’t delete it Haha
 
No I just meant I posted this on another one here - it vanished so I thought it was deleted - and that maybe it fit better in prayer one. But then it reappeared for some reason. Just saying sorry I posted this twice in different areas here but I can’t delete it Haha

Yes, I know what you meant. :)
 
Not a problem. I like people who don't take themselves too seriously, LoL.
Oh I DEFINITELY don’t! Hahaha I have adhd and CPTSD (I’ve healed a lot from that one though, and I am learning to manage my adhd as I just discovered it last year)

I’m very silly but also have an obsession with truth and words 😉 after an abusive marriage it took a long time to get to this point. And my fiancé was huge in my healing. We have worked through a lot together and he’s a precious person with so much to offer the world. I just long for when we can connect spiritually as well. But I can wait. He’s worth it. And I love him very much.
 
I just long for when we can connect spiritually as well. But I can wait. He’s worth it. And I love him very much.

Yes, probably best to wait. If you marry him as is, he may want to know why you married him if he wasn't "good" enough when you did, and although it actually has nothing to do with "goodness" (whatever that is), the differences in your beliefs and his could escalate to a bigger conflict in the future, and that would be a shame if it's true love.
 
Yes, probably best to wait. If you marry him as is, he may want to know why you married him if he wasn't "good" enough when you did, and although it actually has nothing to do with "goodness" (whatever that is), the differences in your beliefs and his could escalate to a bigger conflict in the future, and that would be a shame if it's true love.

He has struggled with self worth his whole life. But that’s a whole other story. He genuinely cares for people - more than most people I’ve met who sit in pews. Sad.

I continue to trust God and HIS timing. He is never late!!!
 
He has struggled with self worth his whole life.

All the more reason to get close to God then. If he should find his true calling and purpose in life, it can have this way of turning a mouse into a gorilla. Scripture says we can do nothing in and of ourselves, but through Christ suddenly all things are possible, and we can become more than conquerors through Christ who strengthens us.

True story, Lol.
 
No one is judging you or criticizing you. Second Timothy chapter 3, they have form of godliness. James chapter 1, be doers of the word, not hearers only, deceiving your own selves. Sister, I would keep distance from him. Luke 9:62. Anyone putting their hand to plough, and looking back, isn't fit for the kingdom of God. My honest advice, keep distance from him. Relationship is built on honesty and equity. Plus, he's compromised. Sister, you don't want to compromise your values and beliefs. A spirtual battlefield is coming 6th trump. Satan as antichrist will convert many people to his demonic doctrine. Many people are biblically illiterate and don't have gospel armory of ephesians chapter 6. You don't want to be in situation were, he goes after antichrist near future, and applys unbearable pressure on you to worship antichrist. Get the picture. Think long term. A spirtual war is coming 6th trump, those who don't have gospel armory on will worship antichrist, they lack knowledge of Gods word. I would stay single, and focus on Jesus. Many people don't take satan seriously and that's their downfall. Revelation chapter 9:5, time was shortened to 5 month period for antichrist tribulation. Think it over. Peace.
 
You should not be seeing an unsaved person if you are a believer.
Missionary dating is not in the bible as a direction for people.
 
No I just meant I posted this on another one here - it vanished so I thought it was deleted - and that maybe it fit better in prayer one. But then it reappeared for some reason. Just saying sorry I posted this twice in different areas here but I can’t delete it Haha
You are fine right here where this landed as it is a part of dating :)

I pray that he will see the light and love of Christ shine through you and that he will learn that all the bad that is in this world is caused by those who have rejected that love that God has for them as they have conformed to worldly ways. I feel that your fiancé is looking for some manifestation like Jesus appearing to him to prove He is real, but we all know that is not going to happen, but that if he would stay still long enough he could hear that small still voice of the Holy Spirit speaking to him. Will keep him in prayer that he will soon come to the Lord and humble himself before Him in prayer.

Both of you are in my prayers.
 
The latter is probably happening because of the former. If his heart has been hardened against God because of the things He has allowed to happen in the earth, that conversation would likely not go well if they actually met, so the Lord is likely putting it off until a time when your fiancé is ready to believe He is indeed a God of love, in spite of those things happening.


Two things.

1. Pray for the supernatural gifts of God to manifest through you on his behalf. If he is asking for God to prove Himself, then that is what he may need to see.

2. If not through yourself, pray the Lord used others prophetically to prove His existence to your fiancé. This is indeed happening in this day and age, only not a lot of people are vessels for the Lord to do so. But it is happening.

I will try to pray He helps you, and God bless you in your efforts to help the man you are engaged to.
- H

You should not be seeing an unsaved person if you are a believer.
Missionary dating is not in the bible as a direction for people.
He'll get very upset, but it won't work in the long run. I'm not saying that you would have an abuse, but my cousin did this and now her children and her have been abused and trying to get out. He just speaks sweet nothings to her. People can fake their character for around 6 months. It is better to be single than having an on a track relationship. It will bring you down know matter how mentally strong you are. I'm not saying he will abuse you. Does he know Jesus is a real historical person? Life doesn't get easier know matter what one does in life. There is always something. It is not easy laying down your life for christ. We all want happiness, but the joy of the lord is our strength. Happiness feels great, but isn't permanent. We are saved, being saved and will be saved. We have to work out our salvation. If he isn't willing to do that, marriage isn't going to help. God speaks in different ways. Sometimes he says yes to our prayers, no or wait. We each his own has to do that. Sometimes he is silent. There are somethings in the bible that are literally others poetry, parables, metaphors, symbols. The more you study the scripture if you have a genuine open heart you can find those answers. They are there. Sometimes you just trust Jesus is the answer. The white thing is a relationship with God. People are goingvti hurt us. They are people. You have to have faith abd faithfulness. If he can't di that hiw can you both have a faithful marrige? Maybe he won't have an affair, but he you will struggle in faithfulness. Faithfulness in God. It isn't based on feelings. Those come and go. If there is confusion itbis not of God because he visits not avgod of chaos or disorder. He has to be ourvfirst love. Completey devoted to him. You can't do that in a relationship that is divided. It was never God's plan for that.
 
You know what. I don't really know you or your situation personally. If you feel like getting married it is completely up to you. Obviously you know this guy and we don't so do what you want. You know what is best for you.
 
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