Christ_empowered
Member
I'm a low status, --very-- stigmatized person in this community. I'm blessed beyond measure. The Lord saved me from: sin, satan, self, death, and the world...and changed me enough for me to become a member of the family, for the 1st time in well over 10 years!
Thing is...the community around me isn't too keen on God's work in my life. I was left dead eyed by a psychiatrist at a hospital 12 years ago. I'm now bright eyed, smart, healthy, etc. I was genuinely, truly sick for a while there, near death even at times (long story...this is what people on the discard pile of society go thru...), and now The Lord has willed that as who I am now, more and more who I really am in Christ, I'm healthy, physically --and-- mentally ("spirit of a sound mind").
People in the neighborhood taunt me now and then, with talk of getting me committed and mysterious "warrants" that have yet to be served. I --was-- convicted of a serious misdemeanor as part of a plea agreement. I completed 3 years probation and that was the end of that, I hope. An additional charge was dismissed. The lawyer my parents hired for me (Praise God!) managed to get the dismissed charge expunged/erased from the record. In order to do that, one must have the state law enforcement division do a thorough background check before they will sign off on the application. My expungement was officially granted and applied less than 2 weeks ago (!!! God is GOOD!!!), so I'm thinking this talk of "warrants" is just...small town, southern people (mostly men...) picking on an "Uppity mental patient" who "doesn't know his place in society," that kinda thing.
--sigh-- God is good. People...ain't so good, sadly. I'm beginning to doubt mental illness as an entity. I think maybe it really is mostly a form of social control, a way of keeping people (especially poor people, minorities, and women) "in line," etc. Thing is...I'm white, male, and my now "well-to-do" parents take very good care of me (God is good!). Yes, I was genuinely sick for a time, from my own sins, and just...well, "the way the world works," it seems. I'm healthy now, and I'm beginning to think...well, I'm blessed to be on disability, because there's no way I'll be able to get a job around here, but I"m beginning to think all these diagnoses were and are just...what Verna calls Mental Health, inc.: "useless junk".
I've rambled. I ask that pray for my ongoing freedom and safety. I read a novel once where one of the characters said, as she was being put in jail and another character was being committed, "the institutions get you in the end." These days, the main institution for low status, deviant people is jail and/or prison. The Lord moved on my heart to get me genuinely saved (miracle!) almost 4 1/2 years ago, and He has seen fit to spare me all that, thus so far. Thing is...people say this stuff so often, so much, that I wonder if its one of those "where there's smoke, there's fire..." kinda things. Plus, I apparently "p!ssed his shrinks off," so that's made the situation 10x more fun.
OK. I really am wrapping up. I know a lot of you pray for me anyway (thank you, btw...), but I do wanna bring this up because...a part of me is still expecting everything to go down the drain, for some reason. I don't get it.
Thanks.
Thing is...the community around me isn't too keen on God's work in my life. I was left dead eyed by a psychiatrist at a hospital 12 years ago. I'm now bright eyed, smart, healthy, etc. I was genuinely, truly sick for a while there, near death even at times (long story...this is what people on the discard pile of society go thru...), and now The Lord has willed that as who I am now, more and more who I really am in Christ, I'm healthy, physically --and-- mentally ("spirit of a sound mind").
People in the neighborhood taunt me now and then, with talk of getting me committed and mysterious "warrants" that have yet to be served. I --was-- convicted of a serious misdemeanor as part of a plea agreement. I completed 3 years probation and that was the end of that, I hope. An additional charge was dismissed. The lawyer my parents hired for me (Praise God!) managed to get the dismissed charge expunged/erased from the record. In order to do that, one must have the state law enforcement division do a thorough background check before they will sign off on the application. My expungement was officially granted and applied less than 2 weeks ago (!!! God is GOOD!!!), so I'm thinking this talk of "warrants" is just...small town, southern people (mostly men...) picking on an "Uppity mental patient" who "doesn't know his place in society," that kinda thing.
--sigh-- God is good. People...ain't so good, sadly. I'm beginning to doubt mental illness as an entity. I think maybe it really is mostly a form of social control, a way of keeping people (especially poor people, minorities, and women) "in line," etc. Thing is...I'm white, male, and my now "well-to-do" parents take very good care of me (God is good!). Yes, I was genuinely sick for a time, from my own sins, and just...well, "the way the world works," it seems. I'm healthy now, and I'm beginning to think...well, I'm blessed to be on disability, because there's no way I'll be able to get a job around here, but I"m beginning to think all these diagnoses were and are just...what Verna calls Mental Health, inc.: "useless junk".
I've rambled. I ask that pray for my ongoing freedom and safety. I read a novel once where one of the characters said, as she was being put in jail and another character was being committed, "the institutions get you in the end." These days, the main institution for low status, deviant people is jail and/or prison. The Lord moved on my heart to get me genuinely saved (miracle!) almost 4 1/2 years ago, and He has seen fit to spare me all that, thus so far. Thing is...people say this stuff so often, so much, that I wonder if its one of those "where there's smoke, there's fire..." kinda things. Plus, I apparently "p!ssed his shrinks off," so that's made the situation 10x more fun.
OK. I really am wrapping up. I know a lot of you pray for me anyway (thank you, btw...), but I do wanna bring this up because...a part of me is still expecting everything to go down the drain, for some reason. I don't get it.
Thanks.
