Hi
Ghostbuster and welcome to CF
You said you have had some experience with Christianity, can you elaborate on that?
Frustration and confusion may cause one to give up and never seek the truth of the word of God because they do not understand and need to be taught simple basics of Salvation. It's like baby steps as you put one foot in front of the other until you learn how to walk.
The basics we need to learn are written in Colossians 3:1-17 and if we follow these guidelines then we will remain in the will of God. The best place to start for learning and understanding Gods Salvation is reading the book of John to learn who Jesus was and is in our own lives and to know anyone can come unto Gods Salvation no matter who you are or what you have done God loves us all unconditionally.
Never let your disability keep you from understanding the basics as it's all about believeing in Christ and what He has done for us on the cross.
Romans 10:9 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. 10 For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. 11 For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed.
There is a NWO coming, but is a Luciferian system of political, economic, military and false religious power they will deceive those into rejecting Christ as they present a false Christ. This will be led by Satan working through those to deceive the world blinding them to the true faith in Jesus Christ.
It's all about having faith in Jesus even if we can't see Him, but believe in what He has already taught. Faith the size of a mustard seed is all you need.
Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
Ephesians 2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves:
it is the gift of God: 9 Not of works, lest any man should boast.
Baby steps my friend as we all had to take baby steps before we learned how to walk.
We are here to help you with any questions you have.