Please help i need it so desperately 🙏🏻

[kaystony]

Hi everyone, I received from the Spirit a message that I thought I should confess a past sin to my husband. I prayed about it for long I didn't want to confess it I thought it would hurt him too much. But the prompting kept coming up. I finally did it and it hurt him so much. He said to me that he would've been happy to have gone through his whole life without knowing. I am so sad that I hurt him I feel terrible and need answers from God. Why did He lead me to do this it damaged my marriage

 

[gordon777]

The best question is not why we confess what we did, but why did we do the thing, that causes the hurt.

Confession does not hurt, it is true confession that saves us, but what hurts is the thing we did, that needed confession.

If we did actions without any trouble in our conscience, and afterwards regret what we did, that is guilt.

But it is not guilt for confession, it is guilt for anything wrong that we did. Confession can damage a marriage we have for ourselves, but a marriage we have with God, is looking forward to what Jesus showed us, that they that be married, be as though they were not. ( marriage is temporary, in this life only.) and how we are married to another, to Christ, who betrothed us to Him in faithfulness.


Matthew 22:29 Jesus answered and said unto them, Ye do err, not knowing the scriptures, nor the power of God.
30 For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven.

1 Corinthians 7:29 But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none;
30 And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not;
31 And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away.




Hosea 2:19 And I will betroth thee unto me for ever; yea, I will betroth thee unto me in righteousness, and in judgment, and in lovingkindness, and in mercies.
20 I will even betroth thee unto me in faithfulness: and thou shalt know the Lord.

Romans 7:4 Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; that ye should be married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God.

1 Corinthians 6:16 What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.
17 But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit.

 

[Hidden In Him]

Hi everyone, I received from the Spirit a message that I thought I should confess a past sin to my husband. I prayed about it for long I didn't want to confess it I thought it would hurt him too much. But the prompting kept coming up. I finally did it and it hurt him so much. He said to me that he would've been happy to have gone through his whole life without knowing. I am so sad that I hurt him I feel terrible and need answers from God. Why did He lead me to do this it damaged my marriage

He led you to do it because, while the sin was grievous and should never be repeated, the pain you both will experience for a time now will very likely heal into a greater trust of one another in the future, because you found the courage to just be honest with him and tell him the truth. As painful as it is, that was something he truly needed to know. He had a right to know because he is your husband.

So what happens now is the grieving process, and what you need to remind him of is that you were honest with him because you love him and don't want anything to be between you.

It is obvious you love him from your post, so appeal to him that you love him, that you messed up, and that you believe God intends for much better things to come in your marriage, because as painful as it was to hear and say, God wants to bring the two of you completely together now, and not let there be any separation or secrets ever again.

Blessings in Christ Jesus
Hidden In Him

 

[Jethro Bodine]

He led you to do it because, while the sin was grievous and should never be repeated, the pain you both will experience for a time now will very likely heal into a greater trust of one another in the future, because you found the courage to just be honest with him and tell him the truth. As painful as it is, that was something he truly needed to know. He had a right to know because he is your husband.

So what happens now is the grieving process, and what you need to remind him of is that you were honest with him because you love him and don't want anything to be between you.

It is obvious you love him from your post, so appeal to him that you love him, that you messed up, and that you believe God intends for much better things to come in your marriage, because as painful as it was to hear and say, God wants to bring the two of you completely together now, and not let there be any separation or secrets ever again.

Blessings in Christ Jesus
Hidden In Him

Yes, kaystony, let the same Spirit that led you to confess your sin now lead you and your husband into healing and restoration.

 

[Dorothy Mae]

Hi everyone, I received from the Spirit a message that I thought I should confess a past sin to my husband. I prayed about it for long I didn't want to confess it I thought it would hurt him too much. But the prompting kept coming up. I finally did it and it hurt him so much. He said to me that he would've been happy to have gone through his whole life without knowing. I am so sad that I hurt him I feel terrible and need answers from God. Why did He lead me to do this it damaged my marriage

It is a question as to whether the Holy Spirit or some other spirit prompted you to do this. It might be better to be more careful in the future regarding what you think the "Spirit" was saying. It could have been asked why you need to confess this to him at all? How would you feel if he confesses the same to you? Is it the Spirit or a step to relieve you of guilt? So I am doubtful God led you to do this. I do not see any good coming out of it beyond you feeling better, which is not loving. It was certainly not something good you did for him. This wasn't done for a better marriage and its clear it is unwise unless he is about to find out anyway. So next time, apply a few tests first because God isn't the only one speaking.

Now it is a done deal and you both will live with this damage to your relationship. You will need to be especially careful to be loving towards him to rebuild confidence. It will take some time. He obviously needs to work through forgiveness and that might take some time. You need to give him that time, but learn from this and do not do this sort of thing again.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

Why did He lead me to do this it damaged my marriage

Because living with guilt and shame is not the life Christ died to give God's people. It was important for you to get cleansed of all that junk.

And what you did was akin to painfully resetting a broken bone so it can heal properly, and better than if you had just let it heal in it's misaligned and injured state.

 

[Hidden In Him]

And what you did was akin to painfully resetting a broken bone so it can heal properly, and better than if you had just let it heal in it's misaligned and injured state.

I agree. When there is honesty, honesty can become the touchstone of the marriage. When she knows darn well there is no honesty, what is to prevent her from eventually engaging in even more things she'll need to hide?

I don't understand the argument.

 

[Dorothy Mae]

Hi everyone, I received from the Spirit a message that I thought I should confess a past sin to my husband. I prayed about it for long I didn't want to confess it I thought it would hurt him too much. But the prompting kept coming up. I finally did it and it hurt him so much. He said to me that he would've been happy to have gone through his whole life without knowing. I am so sad that I hurt him I feel terrible and need answers from God. Why did He lead me to do this it damaged my marriage

I have an idea. There’s a clip by Jordan Peterson to people whose partner betrayed them. I never heard it because it doesn’t apply to me, but maybe he can help your husband find forgiveness.

 

[Iconoclast]

Try and live your life according to scripture based truth, not emotional feelings which come and go.
God will speak to you and lead you through his word.
Acts24;
16 And herein do I exercise myself, to have always a conscience void to offence toward God, and toward men.

 

[for_his_glory]

This is not a debate forum, but to help answer questions that members ask of us. If this debating continues you will be banned from this thread.

 

[for_his_glory]

Hi kaystony and welcome to CF

I would say that the Holy Spirit has convicted your heart to be opened and honest with your husband instead of him finding out from someone else making things worse then what they are right now. I pray that the both of you can sit and work this out and will actually strengthen the trust in your marriage. Give him time to process and then try to work it all out. I pray that all will work out and the both of you will have a loving trusting marriage.

 

[Dorothy Mae]

I am so sad that I hurt him I feel terrible and need answers from God. Why did He lead me to do this it damaged my marriage

If we assume God led you, which I’m not convinced He did considering the outcome, it would have been better to ask Him when and how. I once felt led of the Lord to tell a close brother that we needed to be apart. I knew he wouldn’t believe me. So I asked God when I should do this and how. I waited. Then one night during bible study, He told me that the time was ripe. I told him and he says,”you know, if you’d have told me any other time, I’d have doubted you but tonight I know it’s right.” Timing in doing God’s direction is everything.

 

[Tenchi]

Hi everyone, I received from the Spirit a message that I thought I should confess a past sin to my husband. I prayed about it for long I didn't want to confess it I thought it would hurt him too much. But the prompting kept coming up. I finally did it and it hurt him so much. He said to me that he would've been happy to have gone through his whole life without knowing. I am so sad that I hurt him I feel terrible and need answers from God. Why did He lead me to do this it damaged my marriage

Why are you so sure God led you to do it? Nothing you've offered in your post indicates the "Spirit message" was truly from the Spirit. How do you know for sure it was?

Do you see an established doctrine in Scripture that commands you to divulge your past sins to another person - especially when you can reasonably foresee that doing so will cause great injury to them? I don't. I can think of only one verse that might be construed to indicate such a thing:

James 5:14-16 (NASB)
14 Is anyone among you sick? Then he must call for the elders of the church and they are to pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord;
15 and the prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up, and if he has committed sins, they will be forgiven him.
16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.

In context, the injunction to "confess your sins to one another" is connected to a believer being sick and calling for the church Elders to pray for him/her, anointing him/her with medicinal oil in the Lord's name. The prayers of the Elders, offered in faith, from righteous lives, can accomplish much for such a person - especially if the sickness is caused by sin. The relationship James draws between sin and sickness is very clear in verses 15 and 16 and is the reason for confession of sin to the Elders, who would need to know if they're praying about a merely physical ailment, or about a sickness arising from sin. Obviously, they would offer very different prayers depending upon what was causing the sickness. The command to "confess your sins to one another" is, then, not a general command for all believers to be dumping all their occasions of sin on one another but is a direction to those who are seeking healing from a disease caused by sin by way of the prayers of the Elders of their church.

Tragically, as your experience has shown you, the dark moments of our lives ought to be confessed to God (1 John 1:9), but revealing them to others, particularly when doing so is obviously going to hurt them, is not biblical. How, then, could the Spirit have led you to divulge your past sin to your husband?

What your story reveals, very unfortunately, is the terrible danger in acting upon a highly-subjective thought or impression that cannot be clearly and biblically delineated from one's own Self-talk, or from a demonic counterfeit. Remember, the devil can approach as an "angel of light" offering divine "truth," but in reality offering advice that causes destruction (2 Corinthians 11:14; 1 Peter 5:8).

Sometimes, too, we just want to unburden ourselves, to feel free of the guilt and shame of our sin by admitting it to others. But this isn't a motive that has the welfare of others in mind, only our own need to relieve our sense of guiltiness. If, however, we've repented of, and confessed, our sin to God, we've done all that Scripture enjoins us to do concerning it (except to make reparations where necessary - ie. stealing, slandering, public willful sin) and we ought to follow God's example and leave our sin in the past. This is what the apostle Paul recommended:

Philippians 3:12-14 (NASB)
12 Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus.
13 Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead,
14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

God can heal wounds. But we shouldn't expect that, having caused great harm, that the healing will happen instantly. Pray, love your husband as God loves him, pray some more. And get clear on how you can tell the leading of the Spirit from Self-talk or demonic counterfeit.

 

[D-D-W]

Kay, as I read your OP this verse came to mind:

Hosea 6:1
“Come, let us return to the Lord. For He has torn us, but He will heal us; He has wounded us, but He will bandage us.

There are times that the Lord will hurt us, much like a surgeon has to cut into us to remove disease or repair damage. Does that hurt? You bet. But HE is also the one who removes and repairs the damage so we can be more healthy, stronger, more alive in HIM.

If you and your husband both seek God and work thru this, you both will be stronger in HIM and have a stronger marriage as well.

 

[gordon777]

Hi everyone, I received from the Spirit a message that I thought I should confess a past sin to my husband. I prayed about it for long I didn't want to confess it I thought it would hurt him too much. But the prompting kept coming up. I finally did it and it hurt him so much. He said to me that he would've been happy to have gone through his whole life without knowing. I am so sad that I hurt him I feel terrible and need answers from God. Why did He lead me to do this it damaged my marriage

When a brand new poster, immediately posts in a forum, made for questioning and answering Christianity, and the only guard done, is against members here for a long while, something is wrong.

That goes to show why things occur that we cant understand, because I cant understand why this thread immediately has the admin against other members, instead of having any peace in Christianity.

I think it has been displayed then, the best and only answer can only be from God, it cant be in an environment that itself, cant reveal only good, in Jesus Christ, or they might try to create beter ways, while they are free and able to do so. ( I suspect they won for too much longer, in that way seen.)

 

[Anaphora]

I believe holy spirit convicted you of sin and you admitted it. But only Jesus can forgive sins. Priests and people have no power to forgive sins. Only Jesus. First Corinthians 2:10. But God hath revealed them unto us by His spirit; for the spirit search all things, yea, the deep things of God. 2:12. Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the spirt which is of God; epistle John 1:9. If we Confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness . 1:10. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him liar, and His word is not in us. Couple years ago. I was planting seed for Jesus to certain individuals. Hoping person would convert to christianity from heathen life. I made small confession to this person about me before I converted to christianity. Back in 1900s, I caused trouble and hurt people. I wasn't honest with myself and other people. When I converted to christianity in year 2000. I slowly became aware how depraved I was. It took years for me to mold into decent Christian. I even confessed to several people I hurt. That I was sorry and wrong what I did to them. I asked for their forgiveness. Two of them hold grudge against me. One person did forgive. What's ironic is. The one person I hurt the most. He did forgive me. Two other people won't forgive me. Only Jesus knows the depth of people hearts. Im not judging anyone. Healing will take long time.

 

[gordon777]

Only Jesus can teach the truth, many give advice, speak of Gods word, but it is a narrow path to find the right advice/adviser. ( to life, is Jesus, who else is life ?)


Matthew 7:14 Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

Apparently she has lost her way back to this forum.

 

[miamited]

Why did He lead me to do this it damaged my marriage

Hi kaystony

Really???? You're blaming the Holy Spirit encouraging you to tell the truth as being the reason that your marriage is damaged? How about the reason you cheated on your husband being the reason that your marriage is damaged! This is all pretty much going to boil down to your ability to convince your husband that you've repented, will never do such a thing again, and show him how much you love and care about him.

Listen, when a spouse breaks their marriage vow in this way they are asking for problems. Nothing destroys the trust of a marriage greater than sexual infidelity. And it is even more especially important in a 'christian' marriage. If I were you I think I'd look at what your other four fingers are pointing at.

God bless,
Ted

 

[Lalas]

Kaystony, we have all fallen short of the glory of God, and yet Christ's love and forgiveness can and does redeem us. While none of us have the exact details on the sin that was committed, nor of your confession that has deeply hurt your husband, the Lord surely knows and understands your plight. Some people here are suggesting that you shouldn't have confessed at all to your husband (and here, they are jumping into various conclusions), but I think you were being brave by confessing to your husband and being honest with him. He deserves to know the truth because he is your husband, your partner in this life, your spiritual leader in the home, and your eternal brother-in-Christ.

To some degree, the truth has set you free, has it not? Aren't you relieved that you have confessed your wrongs and asked for forgiveness, rather than you burying the "secret" and being consumed by endless guilt and shame? Now that the truth has come out, the next step will be for the two of you to work on restoring your marriage and resolving the pain that will perhaps linger for a long time. It will demand concerted efforts on your part and on your husband's part, if the two of you decide to stay together to work on your marriage.

When two sinful people get married (and this goes for every married couple, really) there's always a possibility of sin and temptation entering the relationship. It can also be extremely easy to hurt the spouse both deliberately and involuntarily because we are all sinners. However, when your marriage is centered on Christ, or sanctified because of Christ, there is hope for restoration, healing, and forgiveness. Many married couples go through the storms of life-- sometimes even irreversibly terrible ones-- yet still manage to stay strong together for like 50+ years!

I hope and pray that you and your husband will learn to forgive one another, love each other deeply, and grow stronger together because of this momentary trial in your life. And I say "momentary" because this incident likely isn't the one and only "obstacle" you will encounter as a couple. In fact, when you are married to someone for a long time, life's inevitable challenges will present themselves to you-- and there will be plenty. The key is to find strength from the Lord and seek His wisdom in all things as you work on your marriage.