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[__ Praise __] redeemed! now, what?

OK. another prayer request, praise report, piecing it all together post...

I -had- a 95 IQ, on a good day. That means a bit below average, plus I had all kinds of obvious brain damage, mostly from involuntary psychiatric "Treatment," although...to be fair, I also did my fair share of pills, drugs, etc. So, no; I wasn't blameless.

I -was- homely, maybe even ugly. Its all a blur, now (thanks, shock treatments, lol). In the world, being an "Ugly flamer" might actually be worse than being an ugly woman, especially when you're poor and stigmatized, as I was.

I -did- have very, very serious health problems. Again; the whole thing is a blur. Skin problems, dental problems, immune system problems, nutritional deficits...not good.

I -did- meet the criteria for "personality disorder," especially NPD, narcissistic personality disorder. I was also in my late teens and very early 20s, so...whoa. I was a hot mess, basically. Immaturity+drugs+health problems+what might have actually been the early(ish) stages of "severe mental illness"=not fun.

And now...

5 years into my Walk with The Lord, I have a "High(er) IQ estimate." I don't know what to make of the very concept of IQ. I mean, low IQ vs high IQ, I can see major differences...but what's the difference between 120 and 130s? 130s and 140s?

I"m somehow -not- homely. People around me talk about my parents "wasting more money" on getting my face improved, "chemical peels," etc. None of its true, of course. I don't know why The Lord would go this far, to make a "Homely flamer" into a healthy, remarkably normal man, but...I -am- thankful, of course.

I"m remarkably physically healthy. 0 premature aging, 0 major health problems...even my lifelong allergies are vastly improved, lol.

And...no more "personality disorder," but then again...everything in Mental Health, Inc. is -so- subjective. When I breezed into my 1st shrink's office, age 18, I was a cocky, short, 120 IQ flamer w/ some problems going on. Now? I'm 33, not so cocky, reasonable height, not a flamer, and I think the IQ estimate is now in the 130s (again: what does that -really- mean?). And...

my official label, of course, is "Bipolar I," of the more severe persuasion. I take a tranquilizer (those are obviously standard for Schizophrenia) and a mood drug. Boom. Done.

So...now...well, healings, miracles, etc., are wonderful and...really...I needed The Lord and His work in my life, I did and I do, and I always will, but...

now, I get the sense that its time to grow up a bit more, and figure out...the kind of life I can have, realistically. I read somewhere that The Lord still works miracles, in part to build faith, and...that seems a reasonable explanation, to me. I believe now, because of what I've been shown. I love Christ because He first loved me (true of all Christians, of course...).

Its just...well, because I was low status, because I "messed up," because...all these factors and others combined....people went nuclear on me. I was even attacked (bashed on the head w/ a pipe), 10 years ago, before the 2nd (and thankfully, -last-) mental hospitalization. That -was- me, before I got saved, before The Lord moved mightily in all aspects of my life...

"the dregs of society." Expendable, to the max. "Victim of poor life choices," or...something like that.

So...now...I Praise God for His infinite mercy, kindness, love, and goodness. Even...his justice, which, in my case...was slanted towards rehabilitaiton, then restoration. He causes all things to come together for the good of those who are called.

At the same time....I pray for guidance and grace as I continue maturing in Christ. I have an easy, comfortable, safe, quiet life now, here with my parents. But, many times...I don't even have to leave my room to hear "what people 'round here feel about YOU," stuff like that. I've prayed forgiveness for my fear of man and I've prayed for more and more of the perfect love that casteth out all fear, its just...

I have horrible psych records that might very well follow me wherever I go, may very well outlive me. Fun fact; I've had better experiences w/ the legal system than with those "compassionate professionals" of Mental Health, Inc. And yet...

now, I receive disability. I'm taking a class. My parents and I have reconciled. There is peace, here, where before there was tension, anger, bitterness, resentment, wrath, all kinds of stuff.

"In the world, but not of it." "Wise as serpents, innocent as doves." Take up your plow and push forward. Forgive 70x7, just as surely as I"ve been forgiven a massive debt.

One day at a time...

Thanks. :)
 
redeemed! now, what?
How about attempting to win Christ? Php 3:8.
How do I do that?
1Co 11:1 Be ye followers of me (Paul), even as I also am of Christ.

Php 3:8 Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ,
Php 3:9 And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law (there are many that will tell you how to even remained saved by works), but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith:
Php 3:10 That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death;
2Ti 4:7 I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith:
2Ti 4:8 Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing.

This is not near the fullness of the rewards we can have through Christ, but I'll leave off for now lest I bore you. :)
 
so...this is sanctification, I guess? And its ongoing, till death?>
You got it!
Sanctified? / what were some of us? / Unrighteous?

1Co 6:9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God?
1Co 6:11 . . but ye are washed (by the blood, and the water of the word), but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.

What can we possibly do that adds to what our Savior already did? We’re told in 1Ki 8:46 (for there is no man that sinneth not,), but then what of the sons of God? In 1Jn 5:18 We know that whosoever is born of God sinneth not; (How can this be? are you born of God?) but He that is begotten of God keepeth himself, and that wicked one toucheth him not. (Oh my, I can’t even claim righteousness on what I’ve done?)

Want to go further, or any questions or comments?
 
And besides sanctification I would suggest
- look for healthy nutrtion
- help around home as a thank-you for the blessing of living in peace with your parents
- if it is difficult/ impossible to find a paid job with your records, maybe you`d want to do some voluntary work. It gets one out of the house, out of the box and among people :). Bonus blessing:
Isaiah 58:7 + 8
Is it not to give your bread to those in need, and to let the poor who have no resting-place come into your house? to put a robe on the unclothed one when you see him, and not to keep your eyes shut for fear of seeing his flesh?

Then will light be shining on you like the morning, and your wounds will quickly be well: and your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will come after you. (and following verses)

Giving and serving the needy in Jesus` name really heals heart and soul. We experienced that!

Love and be blessed, A.
 
wow. thank you both!

I'm looking into a quality church. haven't been yet (slept in last sunday, lol), but...hopefully, things will work out there, or if not there, then...somewhere...

i dunno. i get down, when people yell all this nasty stuff at me from my past. "at least you have pretty hair." man oh man...people are cruel! but...time to move on, Praise God!
 
other questions....

so, a Christian is -not- a sinner? not even a sinner, saved by grace? That lines up w/ what the Pentecostals taught me...I think the term they used was/is "saint."

and...how can I have less fear, less timidity, more spirit of a -sound mind- ?
 
another thing...

ronnie, verna's now departed, dearly beloved husband, told me "we can't do much in the flesh. we need the Holy Spirit."

OK. sounds good, but...in practice...how do I get the supernatural help I need to do what God wants?
 
yeah...Baptism of The Holy Ghost...Verna said she's sending me some info. on it. I don't know much about it. can you fill me in?
Are you filled with the Spirit?

Here is a portion of something I transcribed for Brother Gene Hawkins taken from CD's given at my assembly's youth camp one year. Please read the following.

"Initial salvation or the born again experience, and the infilling of the Holy Ghost are not the same experience. Now I realize that many have been taught, perhaps all of your lives, that when you get saved, then you're automatically filled with the power of the Holy Ghost, and it is important for us to understand that yes indeed we do have an experience with the Holy Ghost when we are born again. The reason for that is because it is the power of the Holy Spirit that convicts a person of sin. Up until the time we are convicted of our sin, up until the time that the power of the Holy Ghost overshadows us, we don't even know we're a sinner. That is the power of the Holy Spirit. That is why that scripture calls this "being born of the Spirit". But again and I hope we understand this and we can see it clearly by the time we finish this introduction. Born of the Spirit, and being filled with the Spirit are two separate experiences. Now they may happen in the same day. I know a man back home that for years he had told people that he was saved, and that's a common ploy; I'll tell you I'm saved to get you off of my back. He had told people that he was saved, but one day at one of our Thanksgiving's conventions, this man was so convicted by the power of the Holy Ghost that he fell on his face before the Lord and he was born again, and he was not satisfied with that. People began to explain that there was something more; let's have it all then, and so he was immediately filled by the power of the Holy Ghost. And so it may happen in the same day, even in the same hour, but let us remember, let us understand that being born of the Spirit is a different experience than being filled with the Spirit."

I want to start out first with John 16:7-8, and these are once again the words of Jesus. It was Jesus who introduced the power of the Holy Ghost, and Jesus who introduced the infilling with the Spirit of God. John 16:7. "Nevertheless I tell you the truth; It is expedient for you that I go away: for if I go not away, the Comforter will not come unto you; but if I depart, I will send him unto you". Now you all know I'm sure that the Comforter is the power of the Holy Ghost, and Jesus is saying here that if I go not away means of coarse that if He does not go to the cross, if He does not die, if He does not make this atonement for sin and is not raised again from the dead, then the Holy Ghost cannot come. and so if I depart I will send Him unto you. 8 And when He is come, he will reprove the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment: There are three things that the power of the Holy Ghost will do, and these three things are those three things that He will do for the world, or unregenerate, or unsaved men. This is why we must understand that we have a relationship with the power of the Holy Ghost before we even seek to be filled with the Spirit.

Still with me? :)
 
1Co 11:1 Be ye followers of me (Paul), even as I also am of Christ.

Php 3:8 Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ,
Php 3:9 And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law (there are many that will tell you how to even remained saved by works), but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith:
Php 3:10 That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death;
2Ti 4:7 I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith:
2Ti 4:8 Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing.

This is not near the fullness of the rewards we can have through Christ, but I'll leave off for now lest I bore you. :)
I loved it Eugene :o) Scripture it self say more than any man can say to the born again. We can encourage, but God's word really is like a double edged sword, and it always feeds the Spirit in me with joy.....thanks, even thou it wasn't for me.
In Christ
Douglas Summers
 
ok. so, step one is to build a relationship with The Holy Ghost?
I would say that you have already took step #1 when you were reproved of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment by the Holy Spirit before you came to Christ. You then believed, and as Paul asked in
Act 19:2 He said unto them, Have ye received the Holy Ghost since ye believed?
Weren't those disciples saved that had believed on Jesus?

Act 19:5 When they heard this, they were baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus. (Are they saved yet?)
Act 19:6 And when Paul had laid his hands upon them, the Holy Ghost came on them . . (If we receive the Holy Spirit when we first believe, what was this?)

Do you remember the condition of the apostles prior to receiving the Holy Spirit?
Joh 14:17 Even the Spirit of truth;. . . ye know him; for He dwelleth with you, and shall be in you.
 
this is very helpful, eugene.

i think i'm finally at a point--only by God's grace--where I can actually start growing more and doing better, learning more, etc. i think i've been made more teach-able, too, which is always a good thing.

now.....following the Scripture you've provided...

one can be saved but not filled with The Spirit. Being filled with The Spirit is something all believers should pray for and desire. I took step 1 5 years ago, when I (miraculously...) got genuinely, truly saved. and now...

can any believer be filled w/ the spirit? is this the sort of thing that would require prayer and fasting?

thanks, yet again. :)
 
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