Hey! My girlfriend and I are both 16 and Christians, and recently we've been experimenting with each other's bodies. To preface, we know that sex is something that needs to wait for a while longer, but lately we've been really curious about what it feels like. We have just been reaching and touching under our clothes, and also making sexual movements and getting into sexual positions, but without completely taking off any clothes. We both like how it feels, and we also don't feel dirty or ashamed of it. We both love each other for more than just our bodies, so if we both have a strong, loving relationship not only with ourselves but also with God, is this unholy?
I would say that you're playing with fire. The more you allow yourselves to play with matches, the closer you will get to convincing yourselves that striking the match isn't really wrong and eventually you will get burned. I realize it is very hard to resist, especially when it is in our face on television, in advertising, in the way people dress and act, and in how easy it is to access on our smart phones and computers. I know this from personal experience in relationships and many other things. For example...
Simple things like using profanity. All my friends used profanity often and the more I hung out with them the closer I got to slipping a few softer profane words into my speech and the more I did it, the easier it became and the more profane my words grew until it was second nature. I had to really work hard to stop using profanity when I made the choice to do so but even today, I'll slip up once in a while, especially when I am frustrated or angry.
Drugs and alcohol. I resisted the peer pressure to drink for a while but eventually at the age of 17 I gave in. At first I was being very responsible and only drinking small amounts but eventually I began to take things further and getting drunk. During the 3-month summer break between my junior and senior year in high school, I spent an estimated $450.00 on beer. That was at a time when a 12-pack of beer cost about $2.50. Doing the math that adds up to 180 12-packs of beer or about 15 per week. That's a lot of drinking! I did manage to resist drugs but eventually, I did give in to trying pot (marijuana) and hashish, which is derived from marijuana but far more potent. Fortunately for me I eventually gave up the pot and hash and cut way back on my drinking. Today I still do enjoy an occasional beverage once in a while but I do not allow myself to get drunk. How I managed to get through that period without getting into a car accident and hurting someone or worse, I do not know. It is one of my life's regrets.
When I was about your age, I was tempted to steal. The soft term used was shoplifting, as if that is less wrong than stealing. Anyway, every time I would test the opportunity by temporarily placing something small into my pocket and then remove it without getting caught, I reinforced the desire to take it to the next level. Eventually I began to take things without getting caught. The more I did it, the more bold I became. I even began to get a feeling of pride and satisfaction from it. I felt in control and it gave me confidence and a sense of power. Believe it or not, I even got so good at it, that I was stealing entire car stereo systems without getting caught. Eventually, partially because my friend got nervous, I made a mistake and got caught. Getting caught was the best thing that could have happened. The humbling embarrassment and guilt I felt along with how it affected my parents respect and trust in me prompted me to repent and never looked back.
I remained a virgin until 1981 when I was 22. I had had a few girlfriends previously and like you we "played" around but I always managed to control myself and stop before going "too far." When I was 22 I met a girl and she was 17. I thought what we were doing was okay so long as we didn't take it "too far," but the more we messed around, the more confident and bold we became and the more we would push the envelope. Eventually, we gave in to our desires and allowed ourselves to take it to the final step. After that it got easier and easier to give in. Within just a couple months, my girlfriend became pregnant even though we were taking steps to prevent it. We felt we were in love so we got married. Legally, we were married for seven years but reality is that our marriage only lasted for about 1-1/2 years. My relationship with my son suffered greatly and it wasn't until he was about 25 years old that we began to slowly mend our relationship.
God made us with biological desires for each other for a reason but He also placed restrictions on that gift. It is to be only enjoyed within the confines of a marriage between a man and a women. Scripture speaks about the sins of sexual immorality which includes any sexual activity outside of marriage, adultery, homosexual behavior, incest, and bestiality. Here are a couple references for you.
1 Corinthians 6:18-20 ESV
Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
Hebrews 13:4 ESV
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 ESV
For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;
Matthew 5:28 ESV
"But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
Do you believe God? Do you trust God? Do you want to honor God? Do you love God? Then demonstrate by your lifestyle in the things you think, say, and do. Jesus said,
"If you love me, keep my commandments." (John 14:15 NKJV)
