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sole Woodland

Oats

Member
Sole Woodland
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A wooden gear split
It will not ammend

A clock in the shanty
In the woods, round the bend

The knoll rolling onward
To climb is to descend

Outside the fringe of pasture
Lies a monster, coated in tin

A wooden gear split
It will not ammend

It's lenity allowed it
Then brevity ensued

The sinews lightly rising
The sinews lightly grin

Sole woodland cry aloud
Corruptions not your friend

It is still, It is still
Now you are forever nude

A wooden gear split
It will not ammend

To build crosses for the backs
Caskets for the friend






This poetry is about the clash between the artificial and organic



Thoughts?
 
Not much to say except that I really like it. I like how you used the words and how it is very conceptual and pleasnat to read at the same time.
 
I don't do poetry. This is kind of dark, isn't it? Mentioning a monster, crying, corruption, crosses for the back and caskets....reminded me of the crucifiction. I could sense the organic part with the wood and the pasture but nothing seemed to touch me as artificial. Again, I don't do poetry but there you have it, my opinion.


You're a good poet. Keep writing!
 
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