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[__ Prayer __] Strength, Love, and Conversation

Pard

Member
Our Heavenly Father has been some gracious in His blessing of me. Truly I'd say that I am a changed man, now more than ever before in my walk, a walk that I'd now characterize as a "walk towards Christ" as opposed to now which is a "walk with Christ". I have seen the errors of my way, the sinful way in which I walked, treated others, and spoke of God. I was a pharisee, I was scum among men. I openly slapped neighbors with the scripture while I myself didn't even come close to doing as God said. I was like a hare, I chewed the cud but I did not split the hoof.

But praise the God of all creation! He has turned me into a bull, through His Son I can now say that I am a bull. I chew the cud and split the hoof. I came not over the fence, but through the gatehouse this time. I am no longer a thief in God's country, but a pilgrim on His path. I let the devil manifest godly beliefs in me, so that he, by way of the Bible, could keep me for himself. However, I cried to the Lord when I saw that I had only traded my chains of iron for chains of gold. And praise Him, He answered my prayer. He has delivered me from my hypocrisy, from my habitual sinning. He has allowed the Spirit to manifest within my heart, and I see it reclaiming this flesh for His glory.

I was an adulterer. I was a liar. I was a judger. I was a thief. I was a idol worshiper. And worst of all, I was an addict to sin, I was not just a body who occasionally stumbled, but I rolled in that pigsty with the worst of them.

Now I am saved, delivered from that country and now in His country. Bit by bit I am opening every door, allowing Christ to redecorate every room in this temple. I still succumb to sin, but praise be to God, for I now only stumble, I no longer wallow! He is so good!

I just ask that He grant me three things, that I may further work towards His goals, and that I may further glorify His name, and that I may grow further in His love.

I prayer for the strength to carry on. I've begun upon this path. I've opened the easy doors, and I've rid myself of the easy things. I've even begun to throw out the hardest of things. I've started along but I know that the road becomes much harder. I will face pits and snares and traps and nets. I will walk in dark valleys and face great giants. I will go toe to toe with Ha-Satan himself, and I just pray that the Lord grant me the strength, through faith, that I may not back down, but RISE UP to these occasions.

I prayer for love. I do not love the way I should. I let my tongue come before the Spirit. In love I hope to conquer the tongue. Set it straight. In love I hope to give freely, not just the easy things, like money, but the hard things, like time and thought and caring. I wish to love my captors, to care for my enemies, to welcome those who wish me harm to come and dwell in my house. Through this awesome love I know I can further His glory, because His love baffles the mind of the world. It uproots the spirit of the world. It turns the world upside down with simply words and simple actions.

I pray for conservation with my savior. I pray for the intimate relationship that I see in the Word and in those around me. I pray for Him to walk by my side this very day, to talk with me. I pray that through this I may grow the fruit of the Spirit so that it is ripe and overflowing in my life, so that it is somethings others see in my life and say "GLORY BE TO GOD!"

Always in His name, the name of Christ Jesus, I prayer these things! May they be to His liking and may they be to His glory for ever!
 
And, glory to God, He did talk to me. As clear as day He told me which door to open next in my maze of doors, so that He may enter there and clean it out.
 
What's more yesterday morning He woke me up and gave me the fully realized idea that I needed to open up the devotional on my bedside and read that day's reading. Well praise be to God because the reading was on knowing that even when you are walking with God you will face troubles, but you need not fear because God will be with you, He will not prevent the troubles but He will give you the strength to forge through them and glorify His name!

Why is this such a big deal? Because the day before this He put it upon my heart that my next room to clean out was the one I hid from Him so often, which was the room of my doubt. Well I did that and I said "God, I doubt. I need help, faith. Heal me of my doubts and prove me of my faith that I may use it as ammunition against the demons that whisper doubts into my ears all the day long." Praise God! He answered this prayer (which itself stemmed from Him speaking to me) by confirming that I would face troubles soon enough, and all troubles are but a means to prove to God your faithfulness and for God to prove to you His presence in your life.

And then later on yesterday I prayed to God and said, "Right now they make me doubt! They say 'You are not saved!'. Confirm that these are but lies of the enemy that I may use it to fight them off and glorify you!"

And praise be to God after praying this I opened my Bible and it opened right to John 17 and my eyes fell upon John 17 and I read and the moment I began to read it I knew God was letting me know I was saved, He gave me the confirmation! Praise Him!

My next step is to just pray and listen and let Him show me the next door to open. I know, for He showed me in two different places, that to draw closer to Jesus I need to open my heart and spill my secrets to Him. I've spilled all the ones I can recall, but even I am forgetful of my secrets sometimes, just as I was about telling Him my doubts. And I did that and now I am closer yet. And the next thing He revealed to me to tell Him was my difficulty and pretty much sheer boredom at reading some of His Word and at my enjoyment of other things above His Word and my current inability to love Him the way I ought to be loving Him.

I think He answered that today. We were singing in church and I don't know even the song right now but as I was singing the words took on a new meaning, I understood them, and I began to shed tears because I realized just how much Jesus loves me.
 
Psalm 32: 8 “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.â€:thumbsup
 
Sort of feel God, or maybe it is just my own heart doing it but it doesn't matter all that much at this point, pushing me towards a ministry career and even specifically helping people in the urban world, and even more specifically the people that no one else wants to even share a pew with (homeless, prostitutes, drunks, drug users, gang bangers, etc.). Well I need to pray on this and such, but I also figured that even if I am wrong about this, who cares, at least I can use my time wisely, and if I am right then this could be the beginning of something amazing! So I decided to write an email to a ministry group in Hartford (my state capital) and see if they'd like some help from me this summer.

Please pray that this can be a blessing for everyone, a source of glory for God, and help me find direction in life.
 
Praise the LORD! Your testimony was very encourage.

I will be praying for guidance and direction for you and that your thirst for God will never diminish.
 
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