The Official King of the Hill Thread

[Mike]

Hey, wait a minute...why does Mike have the cool smilie guys. I no longer have the cool smilie guys. WHERE'S MY SMILIE GUYS!!!!!

Click on "Go Advanced" below the text box.

 

[handy]

Click on "Go Advanced" below the text box.

Not working, your Majesty. When I click on "Go Advanced" I get some post icons, such as the one above, but no smilie guys that I can put into the text.

I know this seems off topic, but how can I effectively take the hill without some help from the smilie guys. Is this some kind of plot to keep me from my rightful place on my plush pink throne? What is it with you and pink anyway?

 

[Mike]

Not working, your Majesty. When I click on "Go Advanced" I get some post icons, such as the one above, but no smilie guys that I can put into the text.

I know this seems off topic, but how can I effectively take the hill without some help from the smilie guys. Is this some kind of plot to keep me from my rightful place on my plush pink throne? What is it with you and pink anyway?

I'm not sure if this will work, but it did for me. Click on your settings at the top, then click on "General Settings" in the list on the left, then scroll down to the bottom section "Misc. Options" and select "Enhanced Interface". Save it, and that might do the trick.

If it does, you owe me one. The next time you are King, you shall seek me out and willingly surrender your throne to me. And there better not be pink carpeting. Shirts? carpeting?

 

[handy]

Ahhh, I am now indebted to His Majesty!

So, I will submit to the royal decree and not take the throne at this time and shall, under such a time that the throne (my very own beloved pink plush throne) shall again be mine, I will........:bigcry...give it up to ... Mike.

Sometimes, one must allow for small defeats to obtain great victories.

I go hide now.

 

['Chante]

Et tu, I'Chante? :verysad

Mike, you are you talking dirty to me?!?! You horrid person!

Dukey, make him watch ‘The Sound of Music’!!!! Gmf! And since I am still (sigh) I’Chante instead of L’Chante, I decided to drop the ‘l’ and just be ‘Chante. If you can’t beat them, kill them. If it is illegal to kill them, just drop the ‘l’.

Anyway, I don’t want your lousy hill anymore. Dukey made the ruler of a quaint little Third World Country. How nice. South Africa is a complete mess so I don’t even have to put some effort in to dump it into complete chaos.

 

[Theofilus]

"Lord Anubis"? "Gould"? Hmmm.....

Looks like someone is trying to introduce Pagan gods to The Hill. This cannot be tolerated!

*Summoning all his spiritual strength (which is considerable), Theo commands all goulds, Anubises and other Pagan or otherwise mythical figures to be gone in Jesus name.

All right, now we can retake The Hill. Baldrick, come here for a minute.

Baldrick...

BALDRICK! COME HERE!

...

Wait!?! Baldrick's not mythical, he's fictitios... :

Oh, well. I guess I'll just have to do it myself.

*Now that there are no mythical figures getting in the way, Theo starts making plans to retake The Hill.

 

[jasoncran]

that isnt the same anubis, as he is a facade, the anubis is an alien with considerable intellegence and isnt confined to one dimension. long story, loves to play god.

ascension and being evil its a wonderful thing.

 

['Chante]

All right, now we can retake The Hill. Baldrick, come here for a minute.

Baldrick...

BALDRICK! COME HERE!

...

Wait!?! Baldrick's not mythical, he's fictitios... :

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This just breaks my heart. Theo, you can have my imaginary friend. Her name is Pooksie, and she’s pink and fluffy and she can sing ‘The lion sleep tonight’.

 

[Vince]

Staggering painfully through the new system, Vince finally returns to his observation post. "Taking this hill will be easy," he mutters, "when the time is ripe."

 

[Theofilus]

This just breaks my heart. Theo, you can have my imaginary friend. Her name is Pooksie, and she’s pink and fluffy and she can sing 'The lion sleep tonight' .

Thank you. That's very kind of you.

*Theo wait's till it's dark and everybody's asleep. He sneaks up The Hill and, while Pooksie sings The Lion Sleeps Tonight, Theo starts quietly installing a swimming pool in the back yard. He then sneaks quietly back down without anyone noticing him.

Good... Now we just have to wait for Jason to go swimming.

 

[Theofilus]

*Theo keeps a close eye on the swimming pool from a safe hiding place. It's been 24 hours, but still there is no movement on The Hill.

 

[handy]

Why, silly silly me. With all the confusion over the board and the subtle nature of Jason's overthrow, I thought that Mike was still king. Called him "Majesty" and everything, which he never once did correct. Now, upon a careful re-reading, I find that Jason did in fact overthrow Mike and is now sitting upon my plush pink throne.

hmmm, what to do, what to do?

If I over throw Jason, I just have to give Mike the throne right back again, and it seems a bit too much like playing into his little mind games and petty triumphs (pretending to still be king when he wasn't and all that). Hey, I don't live with a teenager for nothing, I know better than to reward that kind of behavior.

I know I certainly cannot act ignobly and ignore the Accords of The Great Switch, for even if some seek to mis-lead others into thinking they are king, I, as true king and rightful monarch, must live up to the higher calling and behave with integrity. No, when I take back my throne, it must, truly must be given over to Mike, blackguard though he is.

So, I must agree with Vince, the time is not yet ripe. At least my time isn't. Vince's time has been ripening for so long now, it's probably fermented and the reason why Vince isn't acting is because he's three sheets to the wind.

Besides, I must admit to curiosity. I'm all agog to find out just what happens when Jason takes a dip in that new pool. Just nothing better happen to my plush pink throne!

 

[Vince]

Using his powerful pair of binoculars, Vince finally locates the hill, despite the problems with the new and inferior board set-up, With a sigh of dismay, he realizes that the time is still not ripe.

 

[Theofilus]

It's been three days and still no movement on The Hill. I'm starting to worry. Maybe I should go check on him...

Wait! What's that? I think I saw something move...

*Looking through his binoculars, Theo can't beleive his eyes when he sees what's on The Hill.

That's not Jason.. That looks more like a... But It can't be... That would mean that... I have to take a closer look at this.

*Theo creeps to the top of The Hill.

I don't believe it! It's a... it's a... platypus!

QUACK!

Hmm... Must be a duck-billed platypus... Baldrick must be around here somewhere...

*Theo followes the quaking platypus, keeping a good distance between them so as not to scare it away. He hears someone whistle from inside the castle and the platypus goes inside through a doggy... er... platypus door. Theo follows it all the way into the throne room...

What's this?!?!?

Baldrick! Get off my throne!!!

Where's Jason?

Me and Platty (that's my platypus) got rid of him two days ago.

How?...

No... Don't tell me. I think it's probably better not to know. But why is my throne pink?

I don't know. It was that way when I got here. It's real comfy.

I don't care how comfy it is. Thrones aren't supposed to be comfy, they're supposed to be regal. Throw it out.

*Theo replaces the pink monstrosity with a propper throne, all overlaid with gold and with a royal purple seat cussion.

After you throw that thing out, get me some breakfast. After that you can have the day off. Just don't use the swimming pool.

 

[Vince]

There was no movement on the hill for three days because nobody could find it.

 

[handy]

After watching the Broncos kick some Hokie Bootie, I return to find that someone let a platypus sit on my plush pink throne and soiled it. I mean it's bad enough that someone would let a platypus run loose around the hill, but then to not even housebreak it. :bigfrown Now they went and ruined my nice pink throne, and put some ostentatious gold and purple thing in it's place.

It's obvious that Theo and his cohorts, (weak bladdered platypuses especially) are unfit to rule a kingdom.

So, I take the kingdom back and true to the Accords of the Great Switch, I immediately turn the hill over to Mike.

Thus I, Handy I, once and future king of the hill, do hereby fulfill my obligations as is my duty, my right and my pleasure. I hope that Mike will be as meticulous in the laws, creeds and jurisprudence of the hill and henceforth, until such a time as the throne is returned to its rightful heir and monarch, to whit, me!

 

[Mike]

So good of you to remember your debts, Dora.

King Mike, here! Defeater of the Saxons. Sovereign over all the Hills!!! Amidst all of this chaos happening in our cyber-world, I have not lost focus on my quest. No distractions will avert my attention to my goal.

I am here! Here is where I am! And as I speak, my men are replacing anything pink... except of course shirts. ;)

 

[handy]

Mike, a new pool was installed on the hill. Why don't you take a dip!?! ;)

 

[Mike]

Mike, a new pool was installed on the hill. Why don't you take a dip!?! ;)

Not sure what you're trying to accomplish, Dora, but I won't be bated.

Having had DirectTV installed, I've been glued to ESPN Classic. They're showing a Notre Dame marathon of classic wins. This should keep me entertained for a good loooong while. I won't need to change channels for quite some time! Right, Vince?

 

[Theofilus]

*Theo sneaks up the hill and goes in through the secret door he had installed last time he was king. Down in the basement, he starts setting up his subliminal message machine and starts inserting messages into the TV programming. At first he doesn't notice it, but then mike gets a strong urge to go swimming.