What is the difference between love and sex?

[kathydixon]

My desire to have children has long since passed; I am a grandfather several times over, but I still enjoy the company of a woman. Having said the above, I now wonder if my joy of having the company of a women; a feeling of “sex” or one of “love”; or is there a difference-?

In short is it sinful to enjoy the company of a woman knowing marriage is not an option.

Just asking

No animosity intended or implied

Just curious

 

[Seasoned by Grace]

kathydixon
I too am a grandfather and also a great grandfather.
My wife is gone.
Scripture says God judges the intentions of the heart and the mind;
I Sam 16 (v. 7) ...."For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."
Jeremiah 17:9-10 “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? “I the Lord search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.”
Proverbs 16:25 “There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.”

According to these verses, our mind and our heart can be full of all kinds of evil and wickedness.
Each of us in all kinds of situations must analyze our thoughts and intentions, and ask ourselves if we are trying to justify walking in the flesh, instead of walking in the Spirit.

God always has the right answer, but we have to decide if we are willing to accept that answer, and do as God says. If you have a conscience, it will speak to you, or maybe it already has, and that's why you're here asking.

Matthew 5:28 "You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ 28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. "

At your age, I would guess you already know the answer to your posted threads question.

 

[Serving Zion]

My desire to have children has long since passed; I am a grandfather several times over, but I still enjoy the company of a woman. Having said the above, I now wonder if my joy of having the company of a women; a feeling of “sex” or one of “love”; or is there a difference-?

In short is it sinful to enjoy the company of a woman knowing marriage is not an option.

Just asking

No animosity intended or implied

Just curious

I have never been married but I understand the principle of the scriptures in that God said "it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper for him", and "the man will go out from his parents and be joined to his wife, the two becoming one flesh" (flesh of course incorporates the heart and mind: sensualities etc). In a healthy functioning relationship (which is actually pretty rare), they really are of one mind. So I can understand that if you have had that feeling of completion before, you will feel like you aren't complete without it. It is God's design, because "God is love. Whoever abides in love abides in God and God in him" - that's His intention for a relationship, so that one can always look to Him and confide in his other half. Without that the world really is a lonely place...

But having said that there is a difference between love and sex, and although love can lead to sex, most sex is self-centered, which is opposite of love (1 Corinthians 13). Love is self-less, and it always does good to the other person, but the way people do sex is more often selfish and it takes from another person to get one's own pleasure. So that's the difference between sex coming from the spirit vs sex coming from the flesh (love vs lust).

As to why you are feeling that you shouldn't be having an intimate relationship with this woman, do you understand where the guilt is coming from?

 

[Who Me]

Sex is a discription of ones gender as well as a form of short hand for the act of sexual intercourse.

Love is both a feeling as well as an action.

We love our families, friends etc with many different degrees of intensity.


So it real depends what you mean by love for your friend.
It also depends how your 'love' is seen by the world.

 

[Rollo Tamasi]

My desire to have children has long since passed; I am a grandfather several times over, but I still enjoy the company of a woman. Having said the above, I now wonder if my joy of having the company of a women; a feeling of “sex” or one of “love”; or is there a difference-?

In short is it sinful to enjoy the company of a woman knowing marriage is not an option.

Just asking

No animosity intended or implied

Just curious

I've never had any children.
You are a grandfather.
Enjoy it and teach your family the ways of the Lord.

 

[Seasoned by Grace]

In short is it sinful to enjoy the company of a woman knowing marriage is not an option.

kathydixon
It all comes down to what's in your heart and what are your intentions.

If you are sexually interested, don't get involved.
On the other hand, If you just need a friend, and there are no sexual desires about that person - MAYBE.
I am older, and alone and love it.
I have had plenty of women interested and I tell them I love my single life.
A few of the women in my neighborhood feel like I do, and I can go to their house and we visit, without any drama of trying to establish a relationship, or being in one.
I have found that many OLDER women want a relationship with most anyone, and are so in need of someone to share their life with. They are lonely and social, and I get that.

I've been there having a woman for a friend, but that just didn't work out, so if you choose to, BE CAREFUL !!!

 

[jaybo]

I have been married for 53 years. We stopped having sex recently, whether because of fatigue or lack of interest or ..?

That said, I have had many female friends over the decades and I have never been unfaithful (nor has my wife). Sex has never entered into any of those relationships, regardless of the opportunity.

 

[D-D-W]

My desire to have children has long since passed; I am a grandfather several times over, but I still enjoy the company of a woman. Having said the above, I now wonder if my joy of having the company of a women; a feeling of “sex” or one of “love”; or is there a difference-?

In short is it sinful to enjoy the company of a woman knowing marriage is not an option.

I have 4 kids and 7 grandchildren. Been married 44 years.

To your question: there is a big difference. First off, there are several types of "love." There are 3 words in Hebrew (ahavah, chesed, chavav and dod) and 4 in Greek. (phileo, eros, storge and agape)

Dod and eros are similar in that they include both romantic love and sexual function.

All of the other types of love have little or nothing to do with sex.

So to the other question about enjoying the company of women; it entirely depends on what kind of enjoyment you are talking about. Friendship and family (brother/sister) relationships are fine. But if it starts to get romantic or sexual, then it becomes a problem.

 

[kathydixon]

I might have said this earlier and maybe not, so I am going to say it again.

When I was growing up, I believed intercourse was for the procreation of children and none other. Now I am a divorced 72 years old.

I believe a woman is God’s greatest creation. Having said that, I enjoy the company of a women. I enjoy conversing with a woman; etc., etc,

I have never had intercourse other than my wife. Now all I see on cable TV are romances and the term “sex” used as if it is a common term.

I am one very confused old man, and I will leave it at that.

It is time to change the subject

later

 

[Seasoned by Grace]

I am one very confused old man, and I will leave it at that.

It is time to change the subject

kathydixon
I think you got some pretty good input here, so I see no reason to be confused.
Maybe what you want to do is stronger than what you know is right to do?? - Just a thought

 

[Degas]

In short is it sinful to enjoy the company of a woman knowing marriage is not an option.

In Matthew 22:36-40, Jesus was very clear the only Law is Love, all commandments deriving from Love. This is why we do not kill, abuse, still, etc. Not because it would be immoral to do so but because it's not a loving thing to do. By Jesus' very definition ("All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments", Matthew 22:40), all sins are hence a violation to the 'Law of Love'. Therefore, as long as the women you enjoy the company of are adults, are able to freely give consent and you are absolutely certain no pregnancy can occur, there is no sin. If one of them could get pregnant, that raises a number of questions only you can answer

I would add that Jesus never condemned sex; he never said a word about that.

 

[Degas]

I forgot to mention 'as long as you are not married to another woman and those women are single'. It assumed it was obvious

 

[D-D-W]

I forgot to mention 'as long as you are not married to another woman and those women are single'. It assumed it was obvious

It has also been made clear in NT scripture that premarital sex is out. I am going with the KJV on this post as it does not pull the punches as much as more modern translations.

Matthew 15:19 KJV
For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies:

Acts 15:29 KJV
That ye abstain from meats offered to idols, and from blood, and from things strangled, and from fornication: from which if ye keep yourselves, ye shall do well. Fare ye well.

Romans 1:29 KJV
Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers,

1 Corinthians 7:2 KJV
Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

The word translated fornication is pornia. It includes all kinds of sexual sins, including premarital sex.

 

[Degas]

It has also been made clear in NT scripture that premarital sex is out.

We are talking about a grandpa here so the discussion is not about premarital sex. But let's say you meant "having sex without being married" which most Christians would call a sin.

You quoted a number of verses about fornication but you didn't give any biblical definition of fornication. You merely quoted 1 Corinthians 7:2 which is only Paul's way of, supposedly, avoiding fornication. Now:

1- Jesus never said anything about sex.

2- fornication is not defined in the Bible.

3- as a matter of fact -- and I did mention this earlier in this thread -- Jesus was very clear the only law is Love , all commandments deriving from the Law of Love (Matthew 22:36-40). How could two persons who are in love and who are having sex without being married oppose the Law of Love? (same question about two consenting adults having occasional sex within the limits I stated earlier?)

4- I would say that a married couple having a quick f*ck three times a day year round would fornicate according to the Christian understanding of fornication

5- therefore, both because of points #1, #2, #3 and #4, Paul's affirmation that marriage prevents fornication seems irrelevant to me

6- moreover Paul wrote: "I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God" (1 Timothy 2:9-10) yet most Christians wouldn't mind a woman wearing peal earrings, having their hair dyed or occasionally wearing a fancy dress, would they?

7- even worse, Paul wrote: "A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet." (1 Timothy 2:11-12) yet most Christians don't mind Christian women speaking out on forums or on social networks, do they?

8- yet even worse, in 1 Timothy 2:8 , Paul wrote "Therefore I want the men everywhere to pray, lifting up holy hands without anger or disputing" even though no one else throughout the Bible says men should lift up their hands to pray. Then, in 1 Timothy 2:9 Paul wrote "I also want the women...". Then again, in 1 Timothy 2:12, Paul wrote "I do not permit a woman.." rather than "Jesus does not permit" which means that, three times in a row, Paul gave his own commands, not Jesus' or God's.

I am therefore asking you -- as well as all other members, of course:

1- why do Christians give so much importance to Paul's obsession with sexual purity when they don't mind Paul's extremist demands to women?

2- why do Christians give so much importance to Paul's obsession with sexual purity when Paul was sometimes arrogant enough to give his own commands?

3- why do Christians give so much importance to Paul's obsession with sexual purity although Jesus himself never said anything about sex?

4- why do Christians give so much importance to Paul's obsession with sexual purity when it actually contradicts the Law of Love as stated by Jesus himself in Matthew 22:36-40 ?

Come on! Are we Paulists or are we Christians? Is Paul our shepherd or is Jesus our shepherd? (Psalms 23:1)

 

[Edward]

We are talking about a grandpa here so the discussion is not about premarital sex. But let's say you meant "having sex without being married" which most Christians would call a sin.

You quoted a number of verses about fornication but you didn't give any biblical definition of fornication. You merely quoted 1 Corinthians 7:2 which is only Paul's way of, supposedly, avoiding fornication. Now:

1- Jesus never said anything about sex.

2- fornication is not defined in the Bible.

3- as a matter of fact -- and I did mention this earlier in this thread -- Jesus was very clear the only law is Love , all commandments deriving from the Law of Love (Matthew 22:36-40). How could two persons who are in love and who are having sex without being married oppose the Law of Love? (same question about two consenting adults having occasional sex within the limits I stated earlier?)

4- I would say that a married couple having a quick f*ck three times a day year round would fornicate according to the Christian understanding of fornication

5- therefore, both because of points #1, #2, #3 and #4, Paul's affirmation that marriage prevents fornication seems irrelevant to me

6- moreover Paul wrote: "I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God" (1 Timothy 2:9-10) yet most Christians wouldn't mind a woman wearing peal earrings, having their hair dyed or occasionally wearing a fancy dress, would they?

7- even worse, Paul wrote: "A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet." (1 Timothy 2:11-12) yet most Christians don't mind Christian women speaking out on forums or on social networks, do they?

8- yet even worse, in 1 Timothy 2:8 , Paul wrote "Therefore I want the men everywhere to pray, lifting up holy hands without anger or disputing" even though no one else throughout the Bible says men should lift up their hands to pray. Then, in 1 Timothy 2:9 Paul wrote "I also want the women...". Then again, in 1 Timothy 2:12, Paul wrote "I do not permit a woman.." rather than "Jesus does not permit" which means that, three times in a row, Paul gave his own commands, not Jesus' or God's.

I am therefore asking you -- as well as all other members, of course:

1- why do Christians give so much importance to Paul's obsession with sexual purity when they don't mind Paul's extremist demands to women?

2- why do Christians give so much importance to Paul's obsession with sexual purity when Paul was sometimes arrogant enough to give his own commands?

3- why do Christians give so much importance to Paul's obsession with sexual purity although Jesus himself never said anything about sex?

4- why do Christians give so much importance to Paul's obsession with sexual purity when it actually contradicts the Law of Love as stated by Jesus himself in Matthew 22:36-40 ?

Come on! Are we Paulists or are we Christians? Is Paul our shepherd or is Jesus our shepherd? (Psalms 23:1)

So, in short you're saying that since the rest of the world are fornicators then it must be ok for you too?

Don't you ever use a Concordance of the Bible? That is where fornication is defined. You're French? So just how much have you studied Jewish laws, languages and culture & customs and the hows and whys of it all and all of the little subtlties of how the language is used.

I'm sorry Brother, but you just sound like you're seeking justification to go out and sin with a bunch of women. Good luck with that though. I mean, if fornication is not defined and spelled out for you in the scripture itself then...you just assign your own definition to it?!

 

[Edward]

We are talking about a grandpa here so the discussion is not about premarital sex. But let's say you meant "having sex without being married" which most Christians would call a sin.

Am I reading this right? That your implication is that you do not consider sex outside of marriage a sin? As long as it's consensual you said.

I like girls as much as any man, and you make it sound like a free for all almost. And that isnt right Brother. That is a pack of lies. One man with one woman in marriage under God and in the beginning they were never permitted to get divorced no matter what. When God started letting men divorce their wives for adultery it was a concession, but it was not always so.

In my mind, Marriage must be a dry run for us to be able to learn about Covenants! We have a big Covenant with God and it is a marriage covenant. Christ in us, we are in Christ. It's not that much froma marriage covenant with a woman.

So you would be the type of man who says we don't need any Covenants, it's free for all? How can a marriage bed remain undefiled before God when you're out racking up your score card,?! Praise the Lord look at all the pretty women?!

At best you've been seriously deceived. At worst you are a liar and a thief. Thief you say? Well if it's one woman marriage and you tag 10 other women in your life, then you just stole 9 guys wives from them. Ever been with a virgin? More than one? Thief. Someones future wife! But you're righteous because she said yes? Au Contraire my friend! You a man? You have a bigger responsibility than the girls. Eve was deceived, Adam had to take the responsibility.

Thw way you describe it, there is no honor in marriage or sex. Your lack of reading the scriptures is very apparent my friend. If your lack of holy attitude towards holy unions is such as it is, then would you also be the same with your covenant with God? Have you ever heard, Be ye Holy even as I am Holy...? That's a scripture! Stand up Brother!

 

[D-D-W]

We are talking about a grandpa here so the discussion is not about premarital sex. But let's say you meant "having sex without being married" which most Christians would call a sin.

Having sex with someone you are not married to (YET) is premarital sex whether you are 15 or 115.

You quoted a number of verses about fornication but you didn't give any biblical definition of fornication.

Of course I did. It is Pornia.

In the regular Greek society that meant all kinds of sexual activities. In the Greek speaking Jewish diaspora it included anything that violated the sexual ethics of the Old testament. And that included all kinds of non-marital sex.

1- Jesus never said anything about sex.

Of course He did. Matt 15.19 is Him speaking about pornia.

2- fornication is not defined in the Bible.

Correct. You need to understand the definitions of the original language - in this case Koine Greek.

3- as a matter of fact -- and I did mention this earlier in this thread -- Jesus was very clear the only law is Love , all commandments deriving from the Law of Love (Matthew 22:36-40). How could two persons who are in love and who are having sex without being married oppose the Law of Love? (same question about two consenting adults having occasional sex within the limits I stated earlier?)

He said "If you love me you will keep my commandments." Jn 14.15 And since God is one, all the OT commands are His commandments.

4- I would say that a married couple having a quick f*ck three times a day year round would fornicate according to the Christian understanding of fornication

1 - much of the so-called "Christian understanding" is wrong.
2 - to my knowledge of the so-called "Christian understanding," anything between husband and wife is ok; including frequency of 3x a day to 3x a decade.

5- therefore, both because of points #1, #2, #3 and #4, Paul's affirmation that marriage prevents fornication seems irrelevant to me

Go to a seminary and find out the local background of what was going on in Corinth to warrant Paul's affirmation.

6- moreover Paul wrote: "I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God" (1 Timothy 2:9-10) yet most Christians wouldn't mind a woman wearing peal earrings, having their hair dyed or occasionally wearing a fancy dress, would they?

Because the so-called "Christian understanding" of the term modesty is strictly sexual. In modern times that is a judgement on how much female skin is showing. But that is NOT what any of the NT authors meant. It was about not flaunting wealth.

4- why do Christians give so much importance to Paul's obsession with sexual purity when it actually contradicts the Law of Love as stated by Jesus himself in Matthew 22:36-40 ?

Come on! Are we Paulists or are we Christians? Is Paul our shepherd or is Jesus our shepherd? (Psalms 23:1)

It contradicts what some people THINK the "Law of Love" is. And to understand Paul, you have to understand that he was taking the OT teachings and giving them application in the NT. He also had additional divine revelation on how Gentiles were to fit into the Redeemed people of God without formally converting to Judaism. (but that a topic for another discussion)

If you see our Lord and Paul as being in contradiction, you have one or both of them in the wrong light.

 

[Niblo]

Having sex with someone you are not married to (YET) is premarital sex whether you are 15 or 115.

I should be so lucky to have sex at 115

 

[Degas]

I'm sorry Brother, but you just sound like you're seeking justification to go out and sin with a bunch of women.

I haven't has sex in next to seven years and I didn't speak as a way to justify myself but because Jesus, whom I met in Heaven during a near death experience and who appeared to me 20 years later requested me to. Rather that assuming things about me, why don't you read my webpage and answer all four of my above questions?

If you see our Lord and Paul as being in contradiction, you have one or both of them in the wrong light.

Rather than just asserting your beliefs, why don't you answer all 4 of my above questions? Maybe you could also check out my webpage and see for yourself the evidence that Paul lied and is not a reliable source of God's word.

 

[hawkman]

I haven't has sex in next to seven years and I didn't speak as a way to justify myself but because Jesus, whom I met in Heaven during a near death experience and who appeared to me 20 years later requested me to. Rather that assuming things about me, why don't you read my webpage and answer all four of my above questions?


Rather than just asserting your beliefs, why don't you answer all 4 of my above questions? Maybe you could also check out my webpage and see for yourself the evidence that Paul lied and is not a reliable source of God's word.

Your war on Paul is already lost .

I have been to your webpage and I will have to say it a hard no for me to the " The gospel of Stephane " .

I understand completely what you are pushing here .