Christian Forums

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

  • Christian Forum aspires to be an online community where Christians can come together in fellowship with the purpose to encourage, inspire and build up our faith in Christ Jesus. John 13:34-35
  • Focus on the Family

    Strengthening families through biblical principles.

    Focus on the Family addresses the use of biblical principles in parenting and marriage to strengthen the family.

  • Guest, Join Papa Zoom today for some uplifting biblical encouragement! --> Daily Verses
  • The Gospel of Jesus Christ

    Heard of "The Gospel"? Want to know more?

    There is salvation in no other, for there is not another name under heaven having been given among men, by which it behooves us to be saved."

Yesterday Marked Five Years That My Girlfriend and I Have Been Dating.

Who Me

Member
From
London England
Gender
Male
Messages
1,787
Joined
Dec 19, 2018
We plan on being married. We just cannot get married right now. I will be going through bankruptcy, and I am not going to drag her into the middle of it by marrying her.

So, for now, marriage will have to wait.

Have you discussed all the implications of this with her?
The marriage vows say ' For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. '
I appricate you don't want to involve her in your financial mess, but is she willing to be involved in it?
 

Isilwen

Member
From
Central Florida
Gender
Male
Messages
447
Joined
Feb 22, 2021
Have you discussed all the implications of this with her?
The marriage vows say ' For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. '
I appricate you don't want to involve her in your financial mess, but is she willing to be involved in it?

She is thankful that I don't want to involve her in the bankruptcy and is willing to wait till afterwards to get married. Once the bankruptcy is over, we are free and clear to marry.

She also understands that the bankruptcy isn't really my fault as I was fine till child support went up as did my health insurance, while my pay hasn't exactly gone up to match.

I also feel I should mention, I wouldn't have gone the bankruptcy route if she had said no to me doing it. We sat down and talked about it. I also had gotten a debt consolidation consult and was told that I don't bring enough money to do debt consolidation and that bankruptcy would be better.
 
Last edited:

Who Me

Member
From
London England
Gender
Male
Messages
1,787
Joined
Dec 19, 2018
She is thankful that I don't want to involve her in the bankruptcy and is willing to wait till afterwards to get married. Once the bankruptcy is over, we are free and clear to marry.

She also understands that the bankruptcy isn't really my fault as I was fine till child support went up as did my health insurance, while my pay hasn't exactly gone up to match.

I also feel I should mention, I wouldn't have gone the bankruptcy route if she had said no to me doing it. We sat down and talked about it. I also had gotten a debt consolidation consult and was told that I don't bring enough money to do debt consolidation and that bankruptcy would be better.

thank you for explaining.
 

Adoration

Member
From
Canada
Gender
Female
Messages
679
Joined
Jul 25, 2021
This is quite the thread... I don't think I have ever heard a Christian accuse another Christian of NOT believing their testimony. Either the truth is being told or there is deception going on... which is between that person and GOD.
If one has NOTHING to base their accusations on ...Is that not slander?

I found this thread very sad to read.
 

D-D-W

Member
From
Maryland
Gender
Male
Messages
307
Joined
Jul 27, 2021
I cannot speak for Quantrill, but usually it means that the couple has had sex. That sex equals marriage in God's eyes.
Yes, I know many take it that way. I was wondering if Quantrill meant it that way or something else.

But since there is a biblical sin of fornication, which includes pre-marital sex, clearly that is not true. Just having sex does not make one "married in God's eyes."
 

Quantrill

 
Member
From
Texas
Gender
Male
Messages
2,138
Joined
Jul 21, 2020
Yes, I know many take it that way. I was wondering if Quantrill meant it that way or something else.

But since there is a biblical sin of fornication, which includes pre-marital sex, clearly that is not true. Just having sex does not make one "married in God's eyes."

Clearly? Rape is a sin. Would you agree? Adultry is a sin. Would you agree?

But, when a man and woman agree and want and do have sex with each other, and are not tied by bounds of marriage already, why is that not marriage in God's eyes? They become one flesh. You do understand, 'one flesh'?

From your perspective, you are going to have to now prove what is an acceptable 'marriage ceremony'. Is it a church wedding? A Jewish wedding. A Justice of the peace wedding? Which one does God acknowledge?

Quantrill
 

D-D-W

Member
From
Maryland
Gender
Male
Messages
307
Joined
Jul 27, 2021
Clearly? Rape is a sin. Would you agree? Adultry is a sin. Would you agree?
Yes I agree.
But, when a man and woman agree and want and do have sex with each other, and are not tied by bounds of marriage already, why is that not marriage in God's eyes? They become one flesh. You do understand, 'one flesh'?
Not necessarily one flesh. That only comes from intentionally invoking a covenant. Just having sex with no permanent commitment to each other is fornication - a sin - and NOT the covenant of marriage.
 

Quantrill

 
Member
From
Texas
Gender
Male
Messages
2,138
Joined
Jul 21, 2020
Yes I agree.

Not necessarily one flesh. That only comes from intentionally invoking a covenant. Just having sex with no permanent commitment to each other is fornication - a sin - and NOT the covenant of marriage.

Ok. So, now, as I said, you need to prove who is married and who is not. So, who is it?

Quantrill
 
Last edited:

D-D-W

Member
From
Maryland
Gender
Male
Messages
307
Joined
Jul 27, 2021
From your perspective, you are going to have to now prove what is an acceptable 'marriage ceremony'. Is it a church wedding? A Jewish wedding. A Justice of the peace wedding? Which one does God acknowledge?
If God accepted "Bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh" as a marriage covenant statement, I think any intentional statement of marriage would be sufficient.

However, we are also in the NT commanded to follow the laws of the secular society. So for someone to be married, they would have to follow the laws that define marriage in whatever jurisdiction they are in.

1 Peter 2:13 Romans 13:1
 

Quantrill

 
Member
From
Texas
Gender
Male
Messages
2,138
Joined
Jul 21, 2020
If God accepted "Bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh" as a marriage covenant statement, I think any intentional statement of marriage would be sufficient.

However, we are also in the NT commanded to follow the laws of the secular society. So for someone to be married, they would have to follow the laws that define marriage in whatever jurisdiction they are in.

1 Peter 2:13 Romans 13:1

Where in the Scripture did God accept 'bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh' as a marriage covenant?

So any 'intentional statement' means a couple is married but the union of sex, one flesh, doesn't? Begs the question, how do you prove 'intentional'?

Really, we follow the laws of secualr society concerning marriage? Thus what does 'common law marriage' mean"?

You are mixing man's definiton of marriage and God's.

Quantrill
 

Adoration

Member
From
Canada
Gender
Female
Messages
679
Joined
Jul 25, 2021
We're dating. We live apart and do not have sex as we're waiting to be married.
Let's see if I can last in these forums for more than a few days without getting offended... LOL

This is the GIST of this entire thread... Well... actually someone saying that they finally met someone they feel love for and by is the actual OP.... This should have been a CONGRATULATORY and PRAISE worthy thread.... however... for some reason.... it turned into an inquisition.

I say.... CONGRATULATIONS on finding a woman who loves you and supports you.
I say... WOW to you remaining CELIBATE in an age where many Christians are NOT doing so.
I say... THANK YOU JESUS!!!
 

kiwidan

Supporter
Messages
17,128
Joined
Feb 17, 2013
Can we all just give a blesing to the OP and pray for a healthy relationship. Im sick of the negative in this world its draging me down and in general its no good for anyones mental health. Lets all love and care and support one another and just make this world a better place. Thank you.
 
Last edited:
Top