[__ Prayer __] Pray for me for god to take me to him i cant bear my suffering any more

[for_his_glory]

many times I wished to become capable of receiving tough love from my Lord. But that didn't happen. Save that for those who deserve it. I am not eligible. I am like the man in Luke 10:30 who went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead. So would you go and preach him "tough love".You wouldn't that is not what Jesus would do. He will show compassion and love( not tough love).

 Yes I believe our Lord deserve praise in good times and bad times. And I Will praise him amidst my suffering. I will praise him until the end of my life.

The purpose of tuff love is not for the purpose of revenge, but redemption. Look what Jesus said and did in Matthew 21:12-13. Harsh actions, yes. Loving, yes. Jesus loved too much to do nothing in the face of corruption and His anger was justified in showing the money changers how wrong they were to use the Temple in such away.

Repentance, redemption. Gentle taps on the shoulder are usually ignored as even Jesus, out of His love for others, had to show tough love in order to show others what they do is wrong.

 

[Life after death]

The purpose of tuff love is not for the purpose of revenge, but redemption. Look what Jesus said and did in Matthew 21:12-13. Harsh actions, yes. Loving, yes. Jesus loved too much to do nothing in the face of corruption and His anger was justified in showing the money changers how wrong they were to use the Temple in such away.

Repentance, redemption. Gentle taps on the shoulder are usually ignored as even Jesus, out of His love for others, had to show tough love in order to show others what they do is wrong.

Well Jesus actually did that. The question is why? And To whom?if you can answer that question you will understand it has nothing to do with my life. If I was living in that time you wouldn't find me in the temple buying and selling. You would find me lying down by the gate waiting for my Lord to see me. I know my Lord. he is not that cold hearted to do the things mentioned above on helpless souls like me!

Let me raise one incident from the bible
Job 6:8 Oh that I might have my request; and that God would grant me the thing that I long for!
9: Even that it would please God to destroy me; that he would let loose his hand, and cut me off!
Job 7:15 So that my soul chooseth strangling, and death rather than my life.
16: I loathe it; I would not live alway: let me alone; for my days are vanity.
 and this Is what one of his friends said to him
Job 11:11: For he knoweth vain men: he seeth wickedness also; will he not then consider it?
 Very similar to your comment: . "Jesus loved too much to do nothing in the face of corruption and His anger was justified in showing the money changers how wrong they were to use the Temple in such away ."
  the next man said this to job
Job 22:5 Is not thy wickedness great? and thine iniquities infinite?
7: Thou hast not given water to the weary to drink, and thou hast withholden bread from the hungry.
9: Thou hast sent widows away empty, and the arms of the fatherless have been broken.

 

[Life after death]

The purpose of tuff love is not for the purpose of revenge, but redemption. Look what Jesus said and did in Matthew 21:12-13. Harsh actions, yes. Loving, yes. Jesus loved too much to do nothing in the face of corruption and His anger was justified in showing the money changers how wrong they were to use the Temple in such away.

Repentance, redemption. Gentle taps on the shoulder are usually ignored as even Jesus, out of His love for others, had to show tough love in order to show others what they do is wrong.

Finally god replied to job's friends

The purpose of tuff love is not for the purpose of revenge, but redemption. Look what Jesus said and did in Matthew 21:12-13. Harsh actions, yes. Loving, yes. Jesus loved too much to do nothing in the face of corruption and His anger was justified in showing the money changers how wrong they were to use the Temple in such away.

Repentance, redemption. Gentle taps on the shoulder are usually ignored as even Jesus, out of His love for others, had to show tough love in order to show others what they do is wrong.

In the life of job I mentioned above God finally talked to job's friends

Job 42: 7 And it was so, that after the LORD had spoken these words unto Job, the LORD said to Eliphaz the Temanite, My wrath is kindled against thee, and against thy two friends: for ye have not spoken of me the thing that is right, as my servant Job hath.
8: Therefore take unto you now seven bullocks and seven rams, and go to my servant Job, and offer up for yourselves a burnt offering; and my servant Job shall pray for you: for him will I accept: lest I deal with you after your folly, in that ye have not spoken of me the thing which is right, like my servant Job.

 it amazing God's wrath was kindled on job's friends. The were praising God condemning job. Their words looked perfect. They did their best to teach job about what you called tough love.
 In the contrary job was complaining and struggling with God he was talking about how wish to die that he didn't want to live any more. He was accusing God.

May be he was the one who deserve God's wrath. But God has his own point of view. He didn't fell for their flattery.
And he told them my wrath is kindled upon you.
They only saw tough love in job's life But God threthened them to reap back wrath.
 But job's God was merciful he listened to job's prayer for them

 and in our conversations only God knows who deserve what.

 

[journeyman]

Well Jesus actually did that. The question is why? And To whom?if you can answer that question you will understand it has nothing to do with my life. If I was living in that time you wouldn't find me in the temple buying and selling. You would find me lying down by the gate waiting for my Lord to see me. I know my Lord. he is not that cold hearted to do the things mentioned above on helpless souls like me!

Let me raise one incident from the bible
Job 6:8 Oh that I might have my request; and that God would grant me the thing that I long for!
9: Even that it would please God to destroy me; that he would let loose his hand, and cut me off!
Job 7:15 So that my soul chooseth strangling, and death rather than my life.
16: I loathe it; I would not live alway: let me alone; for my days are vanity.
 and this Is what one of his friends said to him
Job 11:11: For he knoweth vain men: he seeth wickedness also; will he not then consider it?
 Very similar to your comment: . "Jesus loved too much to do nothing in the face of corruption and His anger was justified in showing the money changers how wrong they were to use the Temple in such away ."
  the next man said this to job
Job 22:5 Is not thy wickedness great? and thine iniquities infinite?
7: Thou hast not given water to the weary to drink, and thou hast withholden bread from the hungry.
9: Thou hast sent widows away empty, and the arms of the fatherless have been broken.

Amen Life after death, you are right on the mark. The purpose of Job is that he began suffering for serving God,

that man was perfect and upright, and one that feared God, and eschewed evil. Jb.1:1
The devil wanted him to curse God.

Same thing happened to our Lord and when Job finally sees Jesus, he perfectly understands why everything happened to him. Isa.6:1 says,

In the year that king Uzziah died I saw also the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up, and his train filled the temple.

Isaiahs' vision is important, because John cited this in relation to Jesus' suffering, Read Jn.12:38-41. John is relating Isa. 53, where Christ iwas beaten and crucified, to how Isaiah saw Jesus in Isa.6:1

God revealed himself to Job that way, When Job sees how Jesus suffered through no fault of his own, he says.

I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear: but now mine eye seeth thee. Wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes. Jb.42:5-6

Jesus also had antagonists who falsely accused him like Jobs' 3 "friends" did.
I know it's hard to endure terrible things people may do to us, but if Jesus immediately destroyed people who sinned without giving us time to repent, I know I
wouldn't be here.
Our Father takes what satan means for evil, and uses it for good.

 

[Life after death]

Amen Life after death, you are right on the mark. The purpose of Job is that he began suffering for serving God,

that man was perfect and upright, and one that feared God, and eschewed evil. Jb.1:1
The devil wanted him to curse God.

Same thing happened to our Lord and when Job finally sees Jesus, he perfectly understands why everything happened to him. Isa.6:1 says,

In the year that king Uzziah died I saw also the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up, and his train filled the temple.

Isaiahs' vision is important, because John cited this in relation to Jesus' suffering, Read Jn.12:38-41. John is relating Isa. 53, where Christ iwas beaten and crucified, to how Isaiah saw Jesus in Isa.6:1

God revealed himself to Job that way, When Job sees how Jesus suffered through no fault of his own, he says.

I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear: but now mine eye seeth thee. Wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes. Jb.42:5-6

Jesus also had antagonists who falsely accused him like Jobs' 3 "friends" did.
I know it's hard to endure terrible things people may do to us, but if Jesus immediately destroyed people who sinned without giving us time to repent, I know I
wouldn't be here.
Our Father takes what satan means for evil, and uses it for good.

I agree with you. job and me are different people. I am a sinner. But I also believe Jesus is my righteousness. I became righteous by believing in him. So you need to know you are talking with righteous man. My argument was that even the righteous man can be forced to wish to end his life and long for death when suffer beyond he can endure. It shouldn't be something you condemn or threat with eternal death.

If you do that you are also condemning job and that doesn't make you any different from his friends. And the consequences may be God's wrath like job's friend. Why do you think God's wrath came upon job's friend? Their arguments were flawless, their words were praising God more than job's. They were not challenging God like job did.But God's wrath kindled upon them because they were not compassionate to job.They did not try to understand what he was going through. They did not dare to ask God why his sufferings came to job, But they put the blame on job.
And I wish believers try to do these things to me. Because that is what I would do if I were in their places and meet someone like me. And that is what God will is. Job's life is a proof to this.

 

[journeyman]

I agree with you job and me are different people. I am a sinner. But I also believe Jesus is my righteousness. I became righteous by believing in him. So you need to know you are talking with righteous man. My argument was even the righteous man wish to end his life and long for death when suffer beyond he can endure. It shouldn't be something you condemn or threat with eternal death. If you do that you are also condemning job and that doesn't make you any different from his friends. And the consequences may be God's wrath like job's friend. Why do you think God's wrath came upon job's friend? Their argument were flawless, the word were praising God more than job's. They were not challenging God like job. But God's wrath kindled upon them because they were not compassionate to job.They did not try to understand what he was going through. They did not dare to ask God why his sufferings came to job. But they put the blame on job.
And I wish believers try to do these things to me. Because that is what I would do if I were in their places and meet someone like me.

I agree with you. People often suffer through no fault of their own.
Jobs' 3 friends said the reason he was suffering because he had some secret sin.

Eliphaz said,
As I have observed, those who plow evil and those who sow trouble reap it. Jb.4:8

That wasn't true in Jobs' case. God shows how Job suffered for doing right and told Eliphaz

My wrath is kindled against thee, and against thy two friends: for ye have not spoken of me the thing that is right, as my servant Job hath. Jb.42:7

I know it's difficult not to be depressed when the devil works through sinners who hate and mistreat us. I just want to encourage you. Heb.12:2 says,

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross

"The joy" that was set before our Savior was in letting people know that our Father loved us even when we were lost and forgives the repentant. For this the Lamb of God suffered injustice.

I understand you're not in pain because you did anything wrong. You're being attacked by the devil for wanting to serve God, This is why the psalmist said,

Yea, for thy sake are we killed all the day long; we are counted as sheep for the slaughter. Psa.44:22

Please hang in there the best you can.

 

[Tenchi]

Indescribable 14 years mental and physical trauma. Terminal mental and physical suffering . Became useless and disgracful. Have no place in this world. No relief, no peace, no sleep, no hope,no future,no solution, But full of darkness,desperation,bondage,agony,suffering,pain, degradation, hatred, I need one thing God to take me to him please pray for me for God to take me and give me a relief. Nothing else can help me
Your brother in Jesus.

Brother, this post of yours is filled with lies.

When I was a young man, many moons ago, I struggled very severely with anxiety, OCD and depression. I was insomniac, suicidal, at times, experienced panic attacks many times a day, felt I couldn't swallow properly, and lived under a constant fog of inner darkness. And not for a few weeks, or even several months, but for years. At the time, therapists and drugs weren't the go-to solution to inner struggles, as they are now, and so, being a Christian, I looked for a spiritual solution to what I believed was, at bottom, a spiritual problem.

I found in God's word the route to escape from my inner misery. As I followed it, I came totally free of all the anxiety, obsessiveness, and depression that had gripped me for so long. The peace and rest God said in His word I could have in Him, I actually came to experience by following the directions God gave to me in Scripture to obtain such a life. One of the important steps to this experience was the process of repentance: A changing of my mind about what was and wasn't true. As I looked into the Light of God's word, it exposed a whole host of lies I'd told myself and lived in for many years. I see some of those lies in what you've written above.

You do have a place in this world, which is why you exist. God did not make you by accident. He created you to know Him; and in knowing Him, to love Him; and in loving Him, to enjoy Him; and in enjoying Him, to glorify Him. This is the basic purpose for your existence which God intends you should live out in this world in which He put you.

John 17:3
3 And this is life eternal, that they might know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you hast sent.

Philippians 3:7-10
7 But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ.
8 Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ,
9 And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith:
10 That I may know him...

1 John 4:16-19
16 And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love; and he who dwells in love dwells in God, and God in him.
17 Herein is our love made complete, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world.
18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear: because fear has torment. He who fears is not made perfect in love.
19 We love him, because he first loved us.

Psalm 16:8-11
8 I have set the LORD always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.
9 Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices: my flesh also shall rest in hope.
10 For you will not leave my soul in hell; neither will you suffer your Holy One to see corruption.
11 You will show me the path of life: in your presence is fulness of joy; at your right hand there are pleasures for evermore.

1 Corinthians 10:31
31 Whether therefore you eat, or drink, or whatsoever you do, do all to the glory of God.

You may not be experiencing rest or relief, but the truth is that you can enjoy these things as you come to rest fully in Christ, the Prince of Peace, by placing yourself all day, every day, under his control, the control of the Spirit of Christ, the Holy Spirit. Christ promises rest to those who are under his yoke, and so may be guided and controlled by him daily. With every new day, the born-again believer must renew their submission to the "yoke" of Christ - often many times a day.

Matthew 11:28-30
28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Romans 6:12-13
12 Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions.
13 Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness.

Romans 8:14
14 For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.

There is hope, a future and a solution to inner psychological turmoil, but the first step in experiencing that this is so is seeing that such turmoil is fundamentally spiritual, not merely physiological. You aren't the victim of an uncontrollable disease, but are simply living in the consequences of a sinful, Self-centered and perhaps even demon-controlled life. The sort of inner unhappiness you're experiencing is always, God has promised, the "fruit" of a life lived in disobedience to Him, to His will and way. When a person is under His control throughout every day, the "fruit" of the Spirit manifests more and more in them: peace, joy, love, gentleness, faithfulness, hope, self-control, etc. As this fruit of the Spirit manifests in one's life, the "fruit" of sin - fear, hatred, hopelessness, lust, etc. - diminishes; for the two kinds of fruit cannot exist together in a person.

Ephesians 5:8-9
8 for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light
9 (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true),

Galatians 5:22-23
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

James 3:17-18
17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.
18 And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

Brother, you don't need to die but to learn to walk in the Spirit throughout every day. You can't in-and-of yourself be who God wants you to be. You've learned - and are learning - this lesson. Turn, then, from yourself to God and begin to walk in surrender, love and faith with Him, as He has said to do in His word. As you learn to walk with your Maker this way, all the good things He is will fill your life and the darkness will dissolve away; and at the end of the transformation God works in you by His Spirit, you will know, not just more about yourself, but about Him, His power, His faithfulness, His wisdom and love.

No change you will ever make for Him by your efforts will ever produce this result. When believers try to be godly by fleshly means, by dint of their own willpower and self-discipline, they may see some superficial change, but the effort leaves them exhausted and weak, not moved from strength to strength, as they are when God does the changing.

So, brother, there is great hope and joy awaiting you in God, in Christ, in walking in the Spirit. What are you waiting for? Get to it!

Romans 12:1-2
1 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.

2 Corinthians 3:18
18 And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.

 

[for_his_glory]

Well Jesus actually did that. The question is why? And To whom?if you can answer that question you will understand it has nothing to do with my life.

It has everything to do with your life as you want to steal that which is God's Temple and destroy it. Jesus isn't sitting there pitying you, but saying you are making His Temple a den of thief's. You want to rob God's plan and blessings He has for you by taking your own life destroying the Temple of God and that of the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.

1Cor 3:16 Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?
1Cor 3:17 If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are.
1Cor 3:18 Let no man deceive himself. If any man among you seemeth to be wise in this world, let him become a fool, that he may be wise.

I see that your biggest problem is that you expect God to magically take all this burden from you, which He can, but has His reasons that He prolongs it. Again, Paul's thorn in the flesh comes to mind as that which makes us weak, needs to be making us stronger in faith as God's grace is suffient as when we are weak He is strong and it is God who helps us rise above that which is tearing us down. You have two choices, either wallow in you misery, or get up from it and start singing praises to the Lord like Paul and Silas did when they were in prison. This is your prison and it's time to break the chains that bind you.

 

[Life after death]

I agree with you. People often suffer through no fault of their own.
Jobs' 3 friends said the reason he was suffering because he had some secret sin.

Eliphaz said,
As I have observed, those who plow evil and those who sow trouble reap it. Jb.4:8

That wasn't true in Jobs' case. God shows how Job suffered for doing right and told Eliphaz

My wrath is kindled against thee, and against thy two friends: for ye have not spoken of me the thing that is right, as my servant Job hath. Jb.42:7

I know it's difficult not to be depressed when the devil works through sinners who hate and mistreat us. I just want to encourage you. Heb.12:2 says,

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross

"The joy" that was set before our Savior was in letting people know that our Father loved us even when we were lost and forgives the repentant. For this the Lamb of God suffered injustice.

I understand you're not in pain because you did anything wrong. You're being attacked by the devil for wanting to serve God, This is why the psalmist said,

Yea, for thy sake are we killed all the day long; we are counted as sheep for the slaughter. Psa.44:22

Please hang in there the best you can.

Thank you for your kind words. You said:
"I know it's difficult not to be depressed when the devil works through sinners who hate and mistreat us. I just want to encourage you." I am surprised how you found out what my trouble is the devil working through a person who despise God.
You also said. " I understand you're not in pain because you did anything wrong. You're being attacked by the devil for wanting to serve God" this is also correct. The main reason why my enemy torture me is because he despise God and can't stand my desire to serve God.

But this is the problem. It is the extent I am being controlled(I hate to say it but it is true) by this servant of devil is So so terrifying. And it is getting worse every time. And I am so scared to think of the future. I know I have to trust God always preach that to my self but what if I am condemned by him to live like this in bondage in this world and liberate my soul once I am gone. So that my eternal life is kept for me but I will have no relief from my suffering in this world. This is my dread. So this is why I long for God to take me. I pray for God to take me like he did with Enoch and Elijah. And if I am not good enough for that. To simply take my soul from me by natural death.

I also need for God to take me because. I became incapable of serving him. My mind is deteriorating every time because this servant of the devil became capable to tighten it's grip on my mind and body.
I am becoming more and more useless every time. And I am terrified to think what my future will be. And what my legacy will be. Because I am already labeled as a psycho by many who know me. Even believers don't see me in good eyes. They wish I don't attend church with them. Because my body and partly my mind become this servant of The devil playground. In my very presence they sense something not from God something depressing. No body knows who is operating me behind the scene.
So people hate me,curse me, hurt me and some even wish I die. I can't blame them at least not most of them. They see that servant of the devil through me. Operating my body my movement my appearance and partly my mind.

So any believer who is reading this do you think I can tolerate this?! Would you tolerate this if it was you?! Is there any thing that can be done? Is there anyone that can help me?
I wish I can meet my Lord one more time and see what he will say. I mean not through prayer but in my dream like I met him once before where I can directly speak to him.

 

[Life after death]

Brother, this post of yours is filled with lies.

When I was a young man, many moons ago, I struggled very severely with anxiety, OCD and depression. I was insomniac, suicidal, at times, experienced panic attacks many times a day, felt I couldn't swallow properly, and lived under a constant fog of inner darkness. And not for a few weeks, or even several months, but for years. At the time, therapists and drugs weren't the go-to solution to inner struggles, as they are now, and so, being a Christian, I looked for a spiritual solution to what I believed was, at bottom, a spiritual problem.

I found in God's word the route to escape from my inner misery. As I followed it, I came totally free of all the anxiety, obsessiveness, and depression that had gripped me for so long. The peace and rest God said in His word I could have in Him, I actually came to experience by following the directions God gave to me in Scripture to obtain such a life. One of the important steps to this experience was the process of repentance: A changing of my mind about what was and wasn't true. As I looked into the Light of God's word, it exposed a whole host of lies I'd told myself and lived in for many years. I see some of those lies in what you've written above.

You do have a place in this world, which is why you exist. God did not make you by accident. He created you to know Him; and in knowing Him, to love Him; and in loving Him, to enjoy Him; and in enjoying Him, to glorify Him. This is the basic purpose for your existence which God intends you should live out in this world in which He put you.

John 17:3
3 And this is life eternal, that they might know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you hast sent.

Philippians 3:7-10
7 But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ.
8 Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ,
9 And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith:
10 That I may know him...

1 John 4:16-19
16 And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love; and he who dwells in love dwells in God, and God in him.
17 Herein is our love made complete, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world.
18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear: because fear has torment. He who fears is not made perfect in love.
19 We love him, because he first loved us.

Psalm 16:8-11
8 I have set the LORD always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.
9 Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices: my flesh also shall rest in hope.
10 For you will not leave my soul in hell; neither will you suffer your Holy One to see corruption.
11 You will show me the path of life: in your presence is fulness of joy; at your right hand there are pleasures for evermore.

1 Corinthians 10:31
31 Whether therefore you eat, or drink, or whatsoever you do, do all to the glory of God.

You may not be experiencing rest or relief, but the truth is that you can enjoy these things as you come to rest fully in Christ, the Prince of Peace, by placing yourself all day, every day, under his control, the control of the Spirit of Christ, the Holy Spirit. Christ promises rest to those who are under his yoke, and so may be guided and controlled by him daily. With every new day, the born-again believer must renew their submission to the "yoke" of Christ - often many times a day.

Matthew 11:28-30
28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Romans 6:12-13
12 Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions.
13 Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness.

Romans 8:14
14 For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.

There is hope, a future and a solution to inner psychological turmoil, but the first step in experiencing that this is so is seeing that such turmoil is fundamentally spiritual, not merely physiological. You aren't the victim of an uncontrollable disease, but are simply living in the consequences of a sinful, Self-centered and perhaps even demon-controlled life. The sort of inner unhappiness you're experiencing is always, God has promised, the "fruit" of a life lived in disobedience to Him, to His will and way. When a person is under His control throughout every day, the "fruit" of the Spirit manifests more and more in them: peace, joy, love, gentleness, faithfulness, hope, self-control, etc. As this fruit of the Spirit manifests in one's life, the "fruit" of sin - fear, hatred, hopelessness, lust, etc. - diminishes; for the two kinds of fruit cannot exist together in a person.

Ephesians 5:8-9
8 for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light
9 (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true),

Galatians 5:22-23
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

James 3:17-18
17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.
18 And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

Brother, you don't need to die but to learn to walk in the Spirit throughout every day. You can't in-and-of yourself be who God wants you to be. You've learned - and are learning - this lesson. Turn, then, from yourself to God and begin to walk in surrender, love and faith with Him, as He has said to do in His word. As you learn to walk with your Maker this way, all the good things He is will fill your life and the darkness will dissolve away; and at the end of the transformation God works in you by His Spirit, you will know, not just more about yourself, but about Him, His power, His faithfulness, His wisdom and love.

No change you will ever make for Him by your efforts will ever produce this result. When believers try to be godly by fleshly means, by dint of their own willpower and self-discipline, they may see some superficial change, but the effort leaves them exhausted and weak, not moved from strength to strength, as they are when God does the changing.

So, brother, there is great hope and joy awaiting you in God, in Christ, in walking in the Spirit. What are you waiting for? Get to it!

Romans 12:1-2
1 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.

2 Corinthians 3:18
18 And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.

Thank you for these otherwise godly words. They were my dreams years ago. please read my reply to journey man and see if there is any change in your comment?

 

[Life after death]

It has everything to do with your life as you want to steal that which is God's Temple and destroy it. Jesus isn't sitting there pitying you, but saying you are making His Temple a den of thief's. You want to rob God's plan and blessings He has for you by taking your own life destroying the Temple of God and that of the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.

1Cor 3:16 Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?
1Cor 3:17 If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are.
1Cor 3:18 Let no man deceive himself. If any man among you seemeth to be wise in this world, let him become a fool, that he may be wise.

I see that your biggest problem is that you expect God to magically take all this burden from you, which He can, but has His reasons that He prolongs it. Again, Paul's thorn in the flesh comes to mind as that which makes us weak, needs to be making us stronger in faith as God's grace is suffient as when we are weak He is strong and it is God who helps us rise above that which is tearing us down. You have two choices, either wallow in you misery, or get up from it and start singing praises to the Lord like Paul and Silas did when they were in prison. This is your prison and it's time to break the chains that bind you.

Lets try to learn from each other. I accept your warning about defiling God's temple. I am pray to go to help me not do that. But steal I can't stop my longing for death coming from him. Can you ask why? Why did job long for death? The depth of his suffering so is mine.
When the burden is so heavy makes want to die. What other option you have?!

If the right choice is to get up from my misery and Praise and sing. Why am I still in it?

 

[for_his_glory]

When the burden is so heavy makes want to die. What other option you have?!

Speaking from experience, you give it to God and let it with God and go be about your Fathers business taking the Gospel message to the world.

If the right choice is to get up from my misery and Praise and sing. Why am I still in it?

Because you keep holding onto your misery without giving it fully to the Lord. You give it to Him, but then take it right back.

Acts 16:25 And at midnight Paul and Silas prayed, and sang praises unto God: and the prisoners heard them.
Acts 16:26 And suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken: and immediately all the doors were opened, and every one's bands were loosed.

 

[Tenchi]

Thank you for your kind words. You said:
"I know it's difficult not to be depressed when the devil works through sinners who hate and mistreat us. I just want to encourage you." I am surprised how you found out what my trouble is the devil working through a person who despise God.

The vast majority of the world despises God. And Christians are called to be among them, sharing the saving Truth of the Gospel with them, manifesting Christ to them. That they resist and hate Christians is not grounds upon which God gives His children reason to withdraw from, or despair of, them. In fact, God's word tells us we ought to expect, not love and acceptance from them, or even disinterest, but aggressive hatred. Even so, Christians are still to be the hands and heart of God to them. We are the only ones who can be.

John 15:18-20 (NASB)
18 "If the world hates you, you know that it has hated Me before it hated you.
19 "If you were of the world, the world would love its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, because of this the world hates you.
20 "Remember the word that I said to you, 'A slave is not greater than his master.' If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you...

1 Corinthians 4:11-12
11 To the present hour we hunger and thirst, we are poorly dressed and buffeted and homeless,
12 and we labor, working with our own hands. When reviled, we bless; when persecuted, we endure;

Matthew 5:11-12
11 “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account.
12 Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Matthew 5:44-48
44 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.
46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?
47 And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same?
48 You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

But this is the problem. It is the extent I am being controlled(I hate to say it but it is true) by this servant of devil is So so terrifying. And it is getting worse every time. And I am so scared to think of the future. I know I have to trust God always preach that to my self but what if I am condemned by him to live like this in bondage in this world and liberate my soul once I am gone.

Unless you're being held prisoner, there is no good reason I can think of for you to remain under such "bondage." If you want to be free of this "servant of the devil," then depart his company. God does not require you to endure abuse when you can escape it.

Matthew 10:23
23 When they persecute you in one town, flee to the next...

I also need for God to take me because. I became incapable of serving him. My mind is deteriorating every time because this servant of the devil became capable to tighten it's grip on my mind and body.

Oh? How so? "Greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world," the Bible says. The Spirit of Christ in the born-again believer is greater than any and all people, and will enable you to bear up under suffering and persecution - if you must. But, again, if you are able to leave the abuse you're under, then do so. God does not require you to remain - even with a spouse - who is purposefully damaging you.

Because I am already labeled as a psycho by many who know me. Even believers don't see me in good eyes. They wish I don't attend church with them. Because my body and partly my mind become this servant of The devil playground.

If you are God's child, you are your abuser's "playground" only because you allow it. If you're a born-again person, you are the temple of the Holy Spirit, of God, who will enable you to stand fast against evil.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20
19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own,
20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

Colossians 3:1-3
1 If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.
2 Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.
3 For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.

1 Peter 5:8-10
8 Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.
9 Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.
10 And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.

So people hate me,curse me, hurt me and some even wish I die. I can't blame them at least not most of them. They see that servant of the devil through me. Operating my body my movement my appearance and partly my mind.

And Christ? Why does he not order who you are? Why have you given place to what is devilish?

Ephesians 5:7-11
7 Therefore do not become partners with them;
8 for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light
9 (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true),
10 and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord.
11 Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.

So any believer who is reading this do you think I can tolerate this?! Would you tolerate this if it was you?! Is there any thing that can be done? Is there anyone that can help me?

Leave your abuser. And don't look back. Again, God does require you to tolerate abuse when you're able to escape it. Are you locked up, a prisoner, and unable to leave your abuser? If not, if you can leave, you have only yourself to blame for the harm you're suffering.

 

[journeyman]

Thank you for your kind words. You said:
"I know it's difficult not to be depressed when the devil works through sinners who hate and mistreat us. I just want to encourage you." I am surprised how you found out what my trouble is the devil working through a person who despise God.
You also said. " I understand you're not in pain because you did anything wrong. You're being attacked by the devil for wanting to serve God" this is also correct. The main reason why my enemy torture me is because he despise God and can't stand my desire to serve God.

But this is the problem. It is the extent I am being controlled(I hate to say it but it is true) by this servant of devil is So so terrifying. And it is getting worse every time. And I am so scared to think of the future. I know I have to trust God always preach that to my self but what if I am condemned by him to live like this in bondage in this world and liberate my soul once I am gone. So that my eternal life is kept for me but I will have no relief from my suffering in this world. This is my dread. So this is why I long for God to take me. I pray for God to take me like he did with Enoch and Elijah. And if I am not good enough for that. To simply take my soul from me by natural death.

I also need for God to take me because. I became incapable of serving him. My mind is deteriorating every time because this servant of the devil became capable to tighten it's grip on my mind and body.
I am becoming more and more useless every time. And I am terrified to think what my future will be. And what my legacy will be. Because I am already labeled as a psycho by many who know me. Even believers don't see me in good eyes. They wish I don't attend church with them. Because my body and partly my mind become this servant of The devil playground. In my very presence they sense something not from God something depressing. No body knows who is operating me behind the scene.
So people hate me,curse me, hurt me and some even wish I die. I can't blame them at least not most of them. They see that servant of the devil through me. Operating my body my movement my appearance and partly my mind.

So any believer who is reading this do you think I can tolerate this?! Would you tolerate this if it was you?! Is there any thing that can be done? Is there anyone that can help me?
I wish I can meet my Lord one more time and see what he will say. I mean not through prayer but in my dream like I met him once before where I can directly speak to him.

I believe a lot of problems we face come from being brainwashed into believing wrong things about God and ourselves.

Jesus loves all sinners. He said we are to love our enemies, to be like our Father. It's a funny thing to be kind and pray for
people who abuse us, but that's where the release from bondage comes from. From following Jesus,

Then shall thy light break forth as the morning, and thine health shall spring forth speedily.....then shall thy light rise in obscurity, and thy darkness be as the noonday.....and thou shalt be like a watered garden Isa.58:8-11.

We will follow him and stay away from the accuser.

 

[Tenchi]

Again, God does require you to tolerate abuse when you're able to escape it.

This should read: Again, God does not require you to tolerate abuse...

 

[Life after death]

The vast majority of the world despises God. And Christians are called to be among them, sharing the saving Truth of the Gospel with them, manifesting Christ to them. That they resist and hate Christians is not grounds upon which God gives His children reason to withdraw from, or despair of, them. In fact, God's word tells us we ought to expect, not love and acceptance from them, or even disinterest, but aggressive hatred. Even so, Christians are still to be the hands and heart of God to them. We are the only ones who can be.

John 15:18-20 (NASB)
18 "If the world hates you, you know that it has hated Me before it hated you.
19 "If you were of the world, the world would love its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, because of this the world hates you.
20 "Remember the word that I said to you, 'A slave is not greater than his master.' If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you...

1 Corinthians 4:11-12
11 To the present hour we hunger and thirst, we are poorly dressed and buffeted and homeless,
12 and we labor, working with our own hands. When reviled, we bless; when persecuted, we endure;

Matthew 5:11-12
11 “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account.
12 Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Matthew 5:44-48
44 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.
46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?
47 And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same?
48 You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.



Unless you're being held prisoner, there is no good reason I can think of for you to remain under such "bondage." If you want to be free of this "servant of the devil," then depart his company. God does not require you to endure abuse when you can escape it.

Matthew 10:23
23 When they persecute you in one town, flee to the next...




Oh? How so? "Greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world," the Bible says. The Spirit of Christ in the born-again believer is greater than any and all people, and will enable you to bear up under suffering and persecution - if you must. But, again, if you are able to leave the abuse you're under, then do so. God does not require you to remain - even with a spouse - who is purposefully damaging you.



If you are God's child, you are your abuser's "playground" only because you allow it. If you're a born-again person, you are the temple of the Holy Spirit, of God, who will enable you to stand fast against evil.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20
19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own,
20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

Colossians 3:1-3
1 If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.
2 Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.
3 For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.

1 Peter 5:8-10
8 Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.
9 Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.
10 And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.



And Christ? Why does he not order who you are? Why have you given place to what is devilish?

Ephesians 5:7-11
7 Therefore do not become partners with them;
8 for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light
9 (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true),
10 and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord.
11 Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.



Leave your abuser. And don't look back. Again, God does require you to tolerate abuse when you're able to escape it. Are you locked up, a prisoner, and unable to leave your abuser? If not, if you can leave, you have only yourself to blame for the harm you're suffering.

I want you to know how much I love and dream to live these verses you stated. I will go back and read them. But they may not work in my case or the way I want them to. My problem is clear to see but difficult to believe for people. I know people and many of us before we believed in Christ were possessed by evil spirit. And it is that evil spirit or devil that control you and makes you do things.

In that same way I am possessed by another human being who is a servant of devil. I am literally possessed by this person. This person control every thing in my life. for example: This servant of devil decide if I sleep or not at times I spent up to three nights with out any sleep because this enemy wouldn't allow me to. If I stand now and try to read the bible he use my mind to make it hard to read and to contemplate the word of God. If I go to church the enemy will use me to radiate his ugly and intolerable identity through me. I have to flee that area before every one see it and become very angry and disgusted with me. Partly with a wish to protect them I leave the church. If I kneel down to to pray he may give me unbearable headache I couldn't resume to pray.

It's false to assume I am passive to the word of God or unwilling to take steps And godly measures to step out of this misery. I did that for the past seven years doing everything you can ever mention from the word of God. But I am still possessed by this servant of devil.

If you know think of something from the word God for me to follow or use to solve this problem. I most likely already tried it.
I know it's strange to believe. But if I keep on living like this it means giving more time to my enemy to torture me and to use me to hurt other's feeling through me. Which is terrifyingly getting worse from one day to another.

I also tried to see it like this: I said this servant of the devil who despise God so so much may himself be an instrument of the devil him self which is true. So why don't I fight with the devil that control this person. And pray for this person to come to God. I did that for years but it produce no result. The reply I got from this person was blasphemy. He openly shows me how he disdain God how rubbish it is the idea of him coming to God. And threatened me to tighten his grip on me even more to worsen my suffering. That is when utter desperation flood my whole being. I look up and say to God are you watching this you are even being disdained and ridiculed are you watching his blasphemy are your hands tied to do anything. Can't you at least take me away if you can't rescue me from him. I say to God you are hurting me more than my enemy for being silent.
Your silence and doing nothing about it is like a spear Piercing deep into my heart.

 

[Life after death]

I believe a lot of problems we face come from being brainwashed into believing wrong things about God and ourselves.

Jesus loves all sinners. He said we are to love our enemies, to be like our Father. It's a funny thing to be kind and pray for
people who abuse us, but that's where the release from bondage comes from. From following Jesus,

Then shall thy light break forth as the morning, and thine health shall spring forth speedily.....then shall thy light rise in obscurity, and thy darkness be as the noonday.....and thou shalt be like a watered garden Isa.58:8-11.

We will follow him and stay away from the accuser.

Please read my reply to Tenchy and see if I already did that

 

[journeyman]

Please read my reply to Tenchy and see if I already did that

I did read it my friend. It reminded of when Pontius Pilate threatened our Lord,

Don’t you realize I have power either to free you or to crucify you?” Jn.19:10

Jesus told Pilate that misusing the authority God gave him is sin. Evil people may sin against us, but they can't make us do their will. Even an evil person without a body, an evil spirit, cannot make us do anything.
When someone threatens to make your suffering worse, why listen to those lies? If it's a human being and they have distain for God, just cut that person out of your life. Don't see him anymore. Jesus said if people won't receive the gospel, shake the dust off your feet.You don't have to listen to wicked spirits either.

 

[for_his_glory]

Life after death if you are truly Spiritually born again from above and indwelled with the Holy Spirit you can not be possessed, but what you are facing is being oppressed as I have been trying to show you all along that it is Satan who is trying to buffet you like that of Paul and his thorn in the flesh. Did he wallow in his misery, no, he sang praises to the Lord as he took the focus off self and was about his Fathers business teaching the Gospel everywhere he traveled.

2Cor 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
2Cor 12:10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

If this evil spirit is making you do things in your body then it is only you that is allowing it to happen. Where is your faith and trust in Christ Jesus who has told us to speak to those mountains casting them into the sea. How many times will you give this to the Lord and just keep taking it back.

I spoke to my mountain when the devil drew me to want to commit suicide and then Jesus showed me that was a cowards way out being selfish wanting to end my life not keeping my focus on Him and what He had already planned for me as Satan was stealing any faith that I had. If I would have killed myself then my eternal destination in judgement would have been casting me into the lake of fire for not being obedient to God's command of thou shall not kill. There is no repentance or forgiveness after we are dead.



Mar 11:22 And Jesus answering saith unto them, Have faith in God.
Mar 11:23 For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith.
Mar 11:24 Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.
Mar 11:25 And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.
Mar 11:26 But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.

 

[Tenchi]

But they may not work in my case or the way I want them to.

God is not subject to our circumstances. His power, His promises, His truth are the same no matter what situation we're in. If, then, the verses I offered you don't "work," it isn't that they are unable to do so, but that you are unwilling for them to do so.

I know people and many of us before we believed in Christ were possessed by evil spirit. And it is that evil spirit or devil that control you and makes you do things.

Not for the Christian who is a temple of the Holy Spirit. The devil cannot possess those who are possessed of God.

In that same way I am possessed by another human being who is a servant of devil. I am literally possessed by this person. This person control every thing in my life.

Again, if you are not a prisoner, held captive by this person, then you cannot be "possessed" by him unless you allow it. If he controls everything in your life but you are not his prisoner, then you have given him control. But if you've given him control, you can take away that control.

And you are not literally possessed by this "servant of the devil." Only the devil (or his demons) can literally possess a person, forcing them to act in ways they would rather not. Not even the Holy Spirit dominates a person in the way demons do. Anyway, your abuser is not the devil and cannot possess like the devil can, even though you've told yourself the lie that he can. It actually sounds like you're making excuses for the abuse you're living in.

This servant of devil decide if I sleep or not at times I spent up to three nights with out any sleep because this enemy wouldn't allow me to.

Well, are you his prisoner, kept in a room or jail cell, unable to leave? If not, then such experiences you have allowed and thus ought to be blamed. A person who sticks his hand in a fire and will not remove it cannot complain that it burns him. The only reason he is suffering from the fire is because he won't remove his hand from it.

If I stand now and try to read the bible he use my mind to make it hard to read and to contemplate the word of God.

No man has greater power than God. If God, the Spirit, is within you, no man has the power to overcome Him in you and within your mind make it hard for you to read the Bible; for the only way to do the latter is to first accomplish the former.

If I go to church the enemy will use me to radiate his ugly and intolerable identity through me. I have to flee that area before every one see it and become very angry and disgusted with me. Partly with a wish to protect them I leave the church. If I kneel down to to pray he may give me unbearable headache I couldn't resume to pray.

Who is greater? The Holy Spirit, the Spirit of God, within you, or this abusive man? Can a mere man overcome God? Surely, you don't think God is so small and weak.

It's false to assume I am passive to the word of God or unwilling to take steps And godly measures to step out of this misery. I did that for the past seven years doing everything you can ever mention from the word of God. But I am still possessed by this servant of devil.

But you aren't possessed by him. You can't be; not if you're one of God's children and indwelt by the Holy Spirit. It is a lie you're telling yourself that this man has the power over you that you believe he has. Have you left the company of this "servant of the devil"? If not, why do you remain? Have you lied to yourself and told yourself that you cannot leave?

If you know think of something from the word God for me to follow or use to solve this problem. I most likely already tried it.
I know it's strange to believe. But if I keep on living like this it means giving more time to my enemy to torture me and to use me to hurt other's feeling through me. Which is terrifyingly getting worse from one day to another.

It's actually very clear that your claim to have "tried" God's word is false, since the outcome of your trying does not align with what God's word says. I've already offered you a number of verses which, if you'd been living by faith in them, and acting upon them, would have liberated you from the lies - and abuse - under which you've been living.

Really, though, we've only got your word, your side of things, about what's going on in your life. For all we know, everything you've written could be totally false. Perhaps your abuser is no such thing. Perhaps things are just as you say. We can only trust that we've got something like the truth from you and realize we can answer with only a part of the full picture of what's going on. And so, our advice is correspondingly limited.

What isn't subject to circumstances, or to our limited knowledge, though, is God's Truth, promises and power. And so, we can only tell you about these things and hope God will use our doing so to some good end in your life. None of us, though, can save you from your situation. That's God's domain - and yours - not ours.

I also tried to see it like this: I said this servant of the devil who despise God so so much may himself be an instrument of the devil him self which is true. So why don't I fight with the devil that control this person. And pray for this person to come to God. I did that for years but it produce no result.

Did you first submit yourself to God - and remain submitted to Him - in the years you prayed for, and fought the devil? Read James 4:7. If you are not humbly submitted to God, you are in rebellion to Him and cannot hope, then, to resist the devil successfully. And in any case, you are not relieved of prayer and resisting the devil because you don't see the results you'd like to see. God changes people on His schedule, not ours. We are to remain faithful in those things He's told us to do, regardless of what we do, or don't, see.

The reply I got from this person was blasphemy. He openly shows me how he disdain God how rubbish it is the idea of him coming to God.

So? This is how the unsaved are toward God. It's natural for them. You can't expect a lost person, bound under the World, the Flesh and the devil to love God, or have warm feelings about the Gospel. This is why we must pray and continue to do so, manifesting Christ to them, perhaps for many decades. This is our "job," not to decide when they ought to like hearing about God and salvation.

I look up and say to God are you watching this you are even being disdained and ridiculed are you watching his blasphemy are your hands tied to do anything.

Of course, God is watching. But He isn't harmed, or lessened, by a sinner acting like a sinner. (What else would they act like?) God's perfect. He doesn't need us to want Him; He is not diminished by our disdain toward Him, or our blasphemy. He commands us not to do these things, for our sakes, not His. We're damaged by our sin; God isn't.

Can't you at least take me away if you can't rescue me from him. I say to God you are hurting me more than my enemy for being silent.
Your silence and doing nothing about it is like a spear Piercing deep into my heart.

Don't project your responsibility onto God. If you're poking an angry bear with a stick and it turns and savages you, it isn't God's fault but your own. Remaining with your abuser when you aren't his prisoner is a choice you've made and for which you - not God - is responsible. That remaining hurts you doesn't somehow shift the blame to God. If you want the pain to stop, run away from the bear!