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> A sign posted in a car dealership read:

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LottomagicZ4941A

Guest
> A sign posted in a car dealership read:
>
> If you want to get back on your feet,
>
> miss a car payment.
 
And here is another foot stomping joke

A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister if they could discuss the use of the car. His father took him to his study and said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your bible a little and get your hair cut and we'll talk about it."

After about a month the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss use of the car. They again went to the father's study where his father said, "Son, I've been real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied your bible diligently, but you didn't get your hair cut!"

The young man waited and minute and replied, "You know Dad, I've been thinking about that. You know, Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, why even Jesus had long hair...."

To which his father replied...."Yes, and they WALKED every where they went!"
 
And here is another foot stomping joke

A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister if they could discuss the use of the car. His father took him to his study and said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your bible a little and get your hair cut and we'll talk about it."

After about a month the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss use of the car. They again went to the father's study where his father said, "Son, I've been real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied your bible diligently, but you didn't get your hair cut!"

The young man waited and minute and replied, "You know Dad, I've been thinking about that. You know, Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, why even Jesus had long hair...."

To which his father replied...."Yes, and they WALKED every where they went!"
 
ducks

Ducks


Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they
get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven ... don't
step on the ducks."

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their
best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains
them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to
spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"

The next day, the second woman accidentally steps on a duck, and
along came St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another
extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same punishment
as the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for
all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She
manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St.
Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid
eyes on ... very tall, tan, muscular, and with good hair. St. Peter chains
them together without saying a word.

The woman remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to
you for all of eternity?"

And the guy says, "Well, I don't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck."
 
>>Little Zachary was doing very badly in math. His
>>parents had tried everything ... tutors, mentors,
>>flash cards, special learning centers.
>>In short, everything they could think of to help his
>>math. Finally, in a last ditch effort, they took
>>Zachary down and enrolled him in the local Catholic
>>school.
>>
>>After the first day, little Zachary came home with a
>>very serious look on his face. He didn't even kiss
>>his mother hello. Instead, he went straight to his
>>room and started studying. Books and papers were
>>spread out all over the room, and little Zachary was
>>hard at work.
>>
>>His mother was amazed.
>>
>>She called him down to dinner. To her shock, the
>>minute he was done, he marched back to his room
>>without a word, and in no time, he was back
>>hitting the books as hard as before. This went on for
>>some time, day after day, while the mother tried to
>>understand what made all the difference.
>>
>>Finally, little Zachary brought home his report card.
>>He quietly laid it on the table, went up to his room
>>and hit the books. With great trepidation, his Mom
>>looked at it and to her great surprise, little
>>Zachary got an "A" in math. She could no longer hold
>>her curiosity. She went to his room and said, "Son,
>>what was it? Was it the nuns?" Little Zachary looked
>>at her and shook his head no. "Well, then," she
>>replied, "was it the books, the discipline, the
>>structure, the uniforms? WHAT WAS IT ALREADY?"
>>
>>Little Zachary looked at her and said, "Well, on the
>>first day of school when I saw that guy nailed to the
>>plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around."
> found on http://www.moneymakergroup.com/index.ph ... opic=37379
 
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