Anyone here NOT a good mom...

[von]

I was just wondering if anyone here ever feels like you were not a good mother. Oh, maybe you kept the house, put the food on the table , and did all the domestic things that a child needs, but do you ever feel like you made some wrong decisions concerning your children? I just wonder if there is a way to correct things after your children are older or can you only apologize?

 

[Edward Vil]

I am a terrible mother.

Pretty decent dad, though.

 

[Lyric's Dad]

I am a terrible mother.

Pretty decent dad, though.

I agree. I am a terrible mom! :-D

 

[Quath]

You can't change the past, so all you can do is to try to go forward and not repeat mistakes. Family can be pretty forgiving. It just takes some good communication to patch some things up.

Quath

 

[Nikki]

There are MANY times I feel like I fail as a mom. For instance, my kids will come running to tell me something and if I'm on the computer, I'll tell them "Wait a minute" about 10 times.
:-?

I have to constantly remind myself that they're going to give up telling me things if I don't pay attention right then. It's just that they tattle so much that I eventually tune them out or automatically assume they're coming to tattle when really they may just be coming to say they accomplished something.

 

[Klee shay]

I feel like a bad mum sometimes, but other times I feel like I'm the luckiest mum in the world and I'm very generous to my daughter when I acknowledge that fact.

My daughter is raising me just as much as I am raising her. I don't always know the right thing to do until I first do the wrong thing.

The best way to make up for any misunderstandings or regrets, is t show your children that you can learn from them. Then hopefully they will realise that even when they do make a mistake, or people make mistakes by them in future - it's not the end of the world.

As Christians, it seems natural to teach our children about forgiveness and the concepts outlined in the bible. It's a lot harder to teach in real life however, especially when you do something you feel doesn't warrant forgiveness.

I'm fully expecting that my daughter is going to turn around and tell me what a bad mother I was (as I did to my mum when puberty hit) and I'm teaching myself to be okay with that. She will be correct in that some decisions I made were bad but I wasn't a bad mother. Just someone loving and learning without much to go on but experience and hindsight.

Kids are pretty forgiving if we give them a reason to forgive us. Which generally means agreeing with the important points, apologising for the mistakes and trying to develop a better understanding of who they've become as a result of our decisions.

 

[von]

I'm glad you men are not good mothers, also glad that you are good fathers.
My daughters tell me that I was a good mother. It's just me that feels like I could have done things better. I didn't grow up with a father and my mother and I weren't very close so I guess, I really didn't have a very good example. I would give anything sometimes to hear my mother say she was sorry, so I have used that as a starting point with my own children. I was just curious, ya know sometimes you start thinking about how you should have done things. I have pretty good girls but I can see how some of my mistakes have effected my children. Hey, thanks.

 

[RJD Servant]

Hi

I strove to be a good mom and feel with my children I full filled much of that in life and All 5 of my children have a relationship with me.
But my mother was not a good mother and did nothing to make me feel excepted and loved always destroyed who I was and what I loved.
I strove to open doors of communication with her but she never healed and mended our relationship because she was always right.
I always took my 50% but she never had 50% so to that I moved away and never saw my mother again and decided that I would raise my children doing better then my Mother ever did.
She would chose between her grandchildren and that is when I made the choice she was not going to do to my children what she did to me.
I have a happy home and Love God have a wonderful Husband who helps me be a great Wife & Mother.
I by the way was raised in a so called christian home but it was so disfunctionl to everyone in it.
I believe that when your daughter or sons open truth to you about something of the passed you listen and strive to understand enough to talk about yourself in the situation and open up real conversation about the things that hurt you and she tell you about things that hurt her. Be a great listener and do not try to defend yourself, change toward there children so you do not do the same mistakes twice.
Praying you will find the Wisdom in this and the Listening and Loving ear that can change relationships. Read Illregullar people by Joyce Landorf and make sure none of your relationships run in this area at all. I checked it out and found out that 6 of the people of my family were Illregular to me and always will be. Prayer became my Friend and Forgiveness was my other Friend while I held the hand of Jesus to carry me through.
RJD Servant