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Jesusfreak97

Jesusfreak97

Member
So I have said again and again that I MUST MUST MUST date a guy who is Christian and loves God with all hos heart, soul, and mind. However I always get one of two responses back 1) ha! Good luck with that! 2) you should keep an open mind. Well if that's the way it is then I don't want a bf! I don't plan on dating until college because when I have dated it all went bad and my options are limited. But what I'm asking is are there good Christian guys out there who love God? Cuz everyone is saying I'm not gonna find it. So are they out there and do I HAVE to keep an "open mind"?
 
i think you should hold out but have an open mind. i've been lucky enough to meet some awesome young men in Christ and i mean some true devoted men, so their out there. like you, i wanted a man exactly how you described however i fell in love with a man of the world. although not the man of my dreams i do believe and have faith that one day he could actually be a great man of God. sometimes a diamond in the ruff is better than a diamond.
 
Um...well I'm not exactly old enough to date the guys who go to the regular service and the ones at youth group are really immature.
 
What I mean is that are there decient guys out there. I know the question sounds stupid but a lot of people have told me there aren't and from what I have seen from the guys in my life I am starting to wonder.
 
They are the quiet ones, dontchya know! That's why no one knows we exist, we like to keep quiet and avoid attention. Well generally. My teachers would tell you I am the loudest, most talkative person in class. That being said I'm in college now and when I was in high school I kept to myself and my friends. Just wait though, dating in high school is overrated. Focus on good grades so you can attend a good Christian school and then when you get there you will have a buffet of Christian guys to date.
 
Yes, we're out there :biggrin

If having an open mind means dating someone who is not a Christian, then keep a closed mind.
 
Faith is such a pivotal part of everyone's lives, if you date and eventually marry someone who does not treasure faith - they will not understand your faith or support you in matters of faith.

WHY would someone knowingly open themselves up to that? And why would someone counsel another to do so?

I can answer the second question - those who don't treasure a personal faith don't grasp the importance of faith in a faithful person's life. Being told to "have an open mind" is just ignorant advice, rooted in this obsession these days of "tolerance".

Oh, and there ARE good guys in the church. We are in EVERY church, usually sitting alone because (this is not the case all the time, I know) we are not interested in being the "bad boy" that most, even Christian, young women are looking for. (Or THINK they are looking for.)
 
Well I sit with my grandmother, so I guess the ladies may think that I'm with her... :LOL

My problem is that I speed home right after church, so no one gets to talk to me. But give me a break! It's fishing season and I've only got like three hours to fish between church ending and work starting!

But yeah, "open mind" is such a silly phrase. I wrote a brief article on it once. And int his case it is REALLY silly. Don't have an open mind. Keep that mind of yours closed and safe. You don't want to date pagans, they are dirty!
 
I agree with others who say to keep a closed mind. You are to be in this world, not of it. I know that it can seem like good Christian men aren't out there, but they are...and when you are ready, God will bring the right one to you. Don't just date anyone just so you can say you date. That is not worth it and many times can take you down a path that you don't want to go.

I wish you the best of luck. Keep your head up and your morals, values and standards intact. Don't settle. Settling is never worth it.
 
There are plenty of good Christian men out there. I'll relate a story to you from my own life, so you could hopefully learn from my mistake.

When I was in my early twenties I was dealing with years of abuse and had fallen away from going to church. I had also fallen away from the Lord because a pastor told me that I deserved the abuse I got and even asked for it.

I met a girl and we started dating. We dated by following what the world around us was doing and not what God had commanded for us to do in starting a relationship. She had walked away from God because her grandparents that raised her were ministers and forced her to follow God without explaining what it is to serve God.

Anyway, I digress, I got her pregnant and did the right thing by marrying her. Let me tell you, we were miserable during our short marriage because the Lord wasn't at the center of it. There is a reason why God says that we are to seek only those that share our faith because He knows that they will be a wedge in any relationship we have with the Lord if they aren't Christians. I agree with those that say keep a closed mind, but will add let the Lord lead you to the right man for you.

On a related matter to dating, use the standards that the Lord set down for what to look for in a boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse. As Christians we are to be Christ-like and to look at the people around us as Christ looks at us. Jesus doesn't look at us for our bank account, our job, our transportation, or where we live at. He looks at our heart and the condition of our soul. I'm not saying that these aren't important because they are, but we should look to God to provide those things through our future spouse. Jesus didn't have a checking account, He didn't have a car (He had to borrow two donkeys to ride into Jerusalem), He certainly didn't have His own place, but He did have a ministry that impacted billions of people through the years. When you are looking for a boyfriend and later a spouse you should look at what is in his heart and his soul not the material things he can provide.
 
Yes, we are out there, and no they are not all taken. I can agree with Pizza too, I was passed up plenty of times because I told any gal who wanted to date that marraige was the goal. Then, I met a gal who understood life as I did, and now we have a very happy family. There has been some good advice, so I'll jusyt encourage you to wait, and let us help you through prayer.
 
How do you tell people that marriage is the goal? Usually people date just for kicks so how do I present that it is a serious issue for me?
 
Jesusfreak97,


You should just hook up with Pard !


... or Nick .... but he's in Australia. ;)


:yes :clap :biggrin
 
heh...actually scary thing is that means you're only 3 years older than me. Plus I turn 18 July 26th. Ugh! I'm old. XP I don't wanna be old!
 
Jesusfreak97 said:
How do you tell people that marriage is the goal? Usually people date just for kicks so how do I present that it is a serious issue for me?
Click to expand...

It's a simply process which takes some HARD convictions.

1. DECIDE you want to start EVERY RELATIONSHIP with the plan to HONOR GOD.
2. Know that GOD's plan for ROMANCE is for it to be COMPLETED ONLY IN MARRAIGE.
3. Since dating is done for the purpose of exploring romantic FEELINGS AND INCLINATIONS towards someone, TELL them before you agree to the very first DATE that you are looking for your FUTURE SPOUSE.
4. ALLOW them to decide if that is too serious for them, and then continue whatever relationship they are comfortable carrying on.

Keep in mind, there will be clear results. There WILL be far less "workable" options that appear before you. The converse will be that there will be one AMAZINGLY, UNSPEAKABLE BLESSING God will present before you one day.

This will also put you in a unique position among many young Christians, which unfortunately will likely make most youth act distant around you because our culture encourages a bit too much "casual intimacy." (Hugging, flirting, truth or dare, ETC.) The benefit in this will be that you will astound most adults with you patience and wisdom, which will give you more commited friends then youth can ever be. You will not be able to hide the blessings God places in your life, which will just increase the ease of fellowship you have with more mature Christians.

The last clear impact you will have will be ZERO BAGGAGE to present before your future spouse. How blessed would our youth be if they NEVER made youthful mistakes. The ONLY way to avoid youthful mistakes is to embrace the WISDOM of God as early and as often as you can.



 
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