[__ Praise __] becoming "real"

[Christ_empowered]

ever read The Great Divorce? Its one of CS Lewis' popular works. Long story short...its all about Christ's work in making people "real," and how that entails some degree of suffering. Good read. And...

5+ years into my Walk with The Lord (which started by a miracle), I think I've become...real. Not perfect, far from it, but...real. Considering that I started with brain damage and all kinds of problems, probably shouldn't have been alive (the way things usually go...), etc., this is -remarkably- kind of God to do this for -me- and my family, too.

I was just thinking on this today, because...the world really does break people and destroy people and make people ever more hardened in their sins. I Mean, I'm not saying that to sound judgmental--like I wrote above, I was in and of the world, a weakling no less, until Jesus saved me--but...whoa. Its kind...disturbing, I guess. Anyway...

"be ye not conformed unto the ways of this world, but be ye transformed, by the renewal of your mind."

I don't know what my "problems" were, before I got saved and until recently. Who cares, honestly? Now, I'm healthy and surprisingly intellgient, labeled with "Schizophrenia," and...yeah. "Schizophrenia." Its part of my experience of life, while I"m here on earth. Is it a bona fide "brain disease" ? Is it...yeah, I don't know. LOL. It is what it is.

I'd like to one day have more of a life of my own, etc. The -big- thing is to avoid a group home or hospital. Different areas are different, but...where I live...living in a group home is a one way ticket to heavy drugging, with no way out (usually). As it is now...

God is good! So are my (long suffering, loving, kind, generous) parents, of course. They brought home chinese take out for dinner tonight. Good people, all the time. And...

thanks to Christ, I get the sense that I've been redeemed and I've also been "real." I don't have AIDS, I'm not even ugly or obviously brain damaged, and...big thing...I've been forgiven, and I'm in right relationship with God the Father, in and thru Christ. "It is no longer I who lives, it is Christ who lives in me." I'm thankful.

OK. Just thought I'd offer up another Praise Report. Thanks.

 

[Michael74]

Praise be to God.

 

[Tessa]

It would seem God is working through you CE

 

[Papa Zoom]

Christ_empowered we all have some level of difficulty with psychological things. Mine is depression and anxiety but it's a God-send if you ask me. Woke me up. When I'm weak, I'm made strong. Today I woke up with another migraine. It was a bad one and I got sick and for the second time with these things, threw up.

Still, my life is good and as I went back to bed I was reminded of the blessing of retirement. Here I was to sick to even stand up, and I had the freedom to just go back to bed. A blessing to be sure. A migraine pill and two hour sleep later and I was well enough to eat some toast and even had a cup of coffee! Later I felt well enough to work outside on my yard.

Our sufferings can show us our needs for God (if we're listening). Even in the midst of our worst pain, God is there and He cares. I find great comfort in that. The world brings suffering and God brings comfort. And one day you and I will know no more pain or difficulty that this life brings! The sufferings in this life do not compare to the glory that is to come! God bless you!

 

[Christ_empowered]

thanks. I think because Mental Health, Inc. gave me -such- a hard time when I was: short, homely, drugged up, immature, etc., I'm kind of...skeptical of the whole industry. Can you blame me?

But...whatver...I have -so- much to be thankful for. I'm typing this in a nice room (all my own) in my parents' rather nice house. Its not huge, buts it plenty of room for the 3 of us, plus the little girl dog/"Boss Lady."

I don't know for sure if there is such a thing as "Schizophrenia" or "bipolar I" or...any of it, especially as a permanent, never ending state of ill-health. I mean...really? But....for the time being, a moderate dose of an 'atypical," plus massive doses of vitamins, plenty of r+r, prayer, writing...I have -absolutely- nothing to complain about, not now. "Recovery from severe mental illness" is what the "Experts" are calling this, and...

-sigh- Again, I cannot complain. I was dead in my sins, like any other unrepentant sinner, and now...I have life, and that more abundantly, in Christ Jesus. God is good!

I think "Schizophrenia" or...whatever one calls this...gets rough because there's such stigma attached, plus I apparently "don't know my PLACE in society," or so say some of the men (and a some women) around here. Ugh. Live in poverty, you're punished. Live like me...disability, "genteel" parents, etc....you're "uppity" and/or "living off OUR TAX DOLLARS!," etc. I mean...really?!?! State hospitals, prisons, jails...far, far more expensive than keeping the mentally interesting among us on a bit of disability. Get serious, people. "Think like a hippy."

Sometimes, I think maybe...I'm just not meant for a j-o-b, not in today's climate. Its a "Right to work state," which really means..."you could get fired at any time, for any reason" state. Ugh. I do (now...by God's grace...) write surprisingly well. Maybe God will way a way forward towards something...if not profitable, then at least productive, with the voice He's seen fit to bless me with? Oh, and that's another thing...when I was low status, low IQ, under-achieving, etc., a lot of my treatment simply boiled down to: shut him up, make him docile, make him managable, etc. Happens. But now...

by God's grace, even my "Treatment" is more humane. I breeze into a clinic for a shrink visit every 4 months or so, counseling a bit more frequently. I get a text from the pharmacy to pick up the prescriptions. I'm -clearly- not well-liked in this area, definitely not well-liked at the clinic, but...

so what? God is good! I"ve just got to get out there and build a meaningful life, as best I can, with good, Christian people. Who knows? With the economy improving, maybe one day I will end up with one of those j-o-b things I keep hearing about. Or not. Either way...God is good!

Thanks again.

 

[lisa-in-FL]

Praying for your continued healing and growth! I hope you will get one of those j-o-b things as well when you are ready!

 

[Christ_empowered]

thanks. I have to remind myself...it -was- all sortsa doom and gloom, but...no longer, thanks to Christ.

I just...don't know what to do, that's all. The clinic has benefits counselors...they meet with you and tell what sort of wages one can make and still keep at least the medical part of disability. Disability -is- a huge blessing, trust me. Both of my psych drugs are generic. For whatever reason, Abilify is still -ridiculously- expensive, even 2, 3 years into being generic. Plus, disability covers shrink and counseling visits. And yet...

I needed disability when I was weakling who really should have been in a state hospital. Ugh. Now, I think there's hope (again, thanks to Christ) that I might be able to get a j-o-b and get on with things. I just...don't know what to do, where to turn, etc.

I don't feel major pressure, Praise God, but I would like to make a go of things soon(ish), so I can be a bit more autonomous, and also so I can be there for my parents when they get older. They're in good health, overall, and they take good care of themselves, but...yeah. That's one of my goals.

Thanks again.

 

[lisa-in-FL]

Honoring your mother and father is a great goal!

I know how you feel about being unsure of what decisions to make - where to go, how to start, etc. Uncertainty can be paralyzing and I, personally, am coming to terms with the fact that there is no perfect path in this life. The first job you get may not be perfect but it could lead to something else or just be good practice for you to get back out there and build confidence.