My life is a tragic one. Its a story of how cruel and evil people can be and how sometimes life is just completely unfair, my story is a sad one and brutal but as you read it I want you to remember that even though I went through all this I dont regret it because I believe that the lord will use my life's story for the sake of others.
Where to begin, I was with my original parents I was a small child they were severely abusive and starved me severely too. I was a slave in that house they made me do chores like washing the carpet with nothing but water and a tooth brush. when I wasnt doing chores they would beat me and hurt me in strange ways. I remember how they would sit in a circle and I had to pull my pants down, I had to walk to each person and they would stab me in the bottom with a needle and slap me.
when i was washing the carpet with my tooth brush I was so thirsty but they wouldnt give me water, my uncle happened to be sick and throwing up and they said if I was thirsty I had to drink the throw up and so I was force to drink it. I remember how they also if i was hungry made me eat a cockroach or my baby sisters poop. They were always so angry and mean to me there was a time when my mom cut my bottom with a knife and said the blood was demons coming out and scared me, and there was never a time I wasnt hungry.
However sometimes my mom would make special pancakes, she would make a stack of them drenched in syrup and crushed up pills saying they were sprinkles. I knew but i didnt care it was worth it. I was taken away at age eight, i was so starved that I was the size of a four or five year old and even now my mom still wont tell me what I dont remember. she said they did stuff that no human shouldnt have to go through and she said they even sexually abused me but I dont remember that.
anyways I was put in a decent home the dad was sort of mean but I wasnt hurt or anything. I had four years of being a normal kid but because of what my original parents did I had brain damage and medical issues, then at 12 I got cancer a blood cancer called luekemia. it was no joy ride, there were times when I went through such severe pain and all I could do was lay in the hospital bed squirming from pain and basically had to just ride it out. I went through chemo theropy which was not fun at all, and then radiation which gave me even more brain damage and plus damaged my body.
several times I almost died but eventually the cancer went into a sleep state where basically i no longer have to deal with it but for the rest of my life it could come back at any time and the damage and toll it took on me affects my life severely. not just the brain damage and body damage but it gave me many more medical issues and my body has a very hard time growing. I am 23 and only recently this year or so started growing hair and I do not have sexual desires and I still look like a 13or 14 year old and my mindset is like one as well.
I have been saved for almost exactly two years and I am as you could say weak in almost every way of the world. I cannot drive and thus I cannot work and even if I could I sometimes have trouble following simple commands and I have issues remembering some simple things and my mind cannot process to much info or it basically shuts down. I only made it through highschool because I was in a special class for slower ppl and even then my work was so simple.
But as I have said since the beginning of my faith for every way of the world I am weak in God made me strong in his. in my short time of knowing him I have grown to deeply love him, I have fallen head over heels for him over and over each time the love growing richer deeper and more abundant. I begin to see out of his eyes and boy what wonders do I see! I see how he sees every single person, what beautiful rare treasures each individual is to him how deeply he cares and loves each person and how they shine and radiate. I see how far he is willing to go for the sake even one person saved or lost, i see how his children touch his heart deeply simply by saying how they love him. I see how every person no matter who or what they look like what they have done or what they will do is more precious and more important to him that even his own throne.
Because of what he has shown me slowly yet surely I begin to see this too and I begin to love them like that and I see how I myself am willing to go to great lengths for the sake of one person. Truly I am not like him as much as I want to be but I know that one day perhaps one day soon the love of God that far deeper and far richer than you can imagine will flow through my veins and his heart will replace mine his eyes will replace mine and if I am lucky I will take on his very spirit and divine nature.
I have seen how far he and I will be willing to go even so much to burn the fires of hell for the sake of one person out of such a deep and powerful love for both God and them.
Where to begin, I was with my original parents I was a small child they were severely abusive and starved me severely too. I was a slave in that house they made me do chores like washing the carpet with nothing but water and a tooth brush. when I wasnt doing chores they would beat me and hurt me in strange ways. I remember how they would sit in a circle and I had to pull my pants down, I had to walk to each person and they would stab me in the bottom with a needle and slap me.
when i was washing the carpet with my tooth brush I was so thirsty but they wouldnt give me water, my uncle happened to be sick and throwing up and they said if I was thirsty I had to drink the throw up and so I was force to drink it. I remember how they also if i was hungry made me eat a cockroach or my baby sisters poop. They were always so angry and mean to me there was a time when my mom cut my bottom with a knife and said the blood was demons coming out and scared me, and there was never a time I wasnt hungry.
However sometimes my mom would make special pancakes, she would make a stack of them drenched in syrup and crushed up pills saying they were sprinkles. I knew but i didnt care it was worth it. I was taken away at age eight, i was so starved that I was the size of a four or five year old and even now my mom still wont tell me what I dont remember. she said they did stuff that no human shouldnt have to go through and she said they even sexually abused me but I dont remember that.
anyways I was put in a decent home the dad was sort of mean but I wasnt hurt or anything. I had four years of being a normal kid but because of what my original parents did I had brain damage and medical issues, then at 12 I got cancer a blood cancer called luekemia. it was no joy ride, there were times when I went through such severe pain and all I could do was lay in the hospital bed squirming from pain and basically had to just ride it out. I went through chemo theropy which was not fun at all, and then radiation which gave me even more brain damage and plus damaged my body.
several times I almost died but eventually the cancer went into a sleep state where basically i no longer have to deal with it but for the rest of my life it could come back at any time and the damage and toll it took on me affects my life severely. not just the brain damage and body damage but it gave me many more medical issues and my body has a very hard time growing. I am 23 and only recently this year or so started growing hair and I do not have sexual desires and I still look like a 13or 14 year old and my mindset is like one as well.
I have been saved for almost exactly two years and I am as you could say weak in almost every way of the world. I cannot drive and thus I cannot work and even if I could I sometimes have trouble following simple commands and I have issues remembering some simple things and my mind cannot process to much info or it basically shuts down. I only made it through highschool because I was in a special class for slower ppl and even then my work was so simple.
But as I have said since the beginning of my faith for every way of the world I am weak in God made me strong in his. in my short time of knowing him I have grown to deeply love him, I have fallen head over heels for him over and over each time the love growing richer deeper and more abundant. I begin to see out of his eyes and boy what wonders do I see! I see how he sees every single person, what beautiful rare treasures each individual is to him how deeply he cares and loves each person and how they shine and radiate. I see how far he is willing to go for the sake even one person saved or lost, i see how his children touch his heart deeply simply by saying how they love him. I see how every person no matter who or what they look like what they have done or what they will do is more precious and more important to him that even his own throne.
Because of what he has shown me slowly yet surely I begin to see this too and I begin to love them like that and I see how I myself am willing to go to great lengths for the sake of one person. Truly I am not like him as much as I want to be but I know that one day perhaps one day soon the love of God that far deeper and far richer than you can imagine will flow through my veins and his heart will replace mine his eyes will replace mine and if I am lucky I will take on his very spirit and divine nature.
I have seen how far he and I will be willing to go even so much to burn the fires of hell for the sake of one person out of such a deep and powerful love for both God and them.
To read you love the Lord gives me goosebumps......... What a shining light you are to the world....