My daughter is four years old and I relize that some kids are picky when it comes to food, but it's just so hard to get my daughter to eat. Sometimes she eats good, other times she don't. She wont touch an vegetable for nothing even if I put butter on it to sweeten it, she'll barely eat any kind of meat, wont touch rice, or anything really. All I seem to be able to get her to eat is cereral and fruit mostly. I know she'd rather have ice-cream and other sweets, but that isn't good for her, and well no one can live off of sweets alone and be healthy. If anyone has any suggestions, please tell me.
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Concerned about my daughter
- Thread starter Raven1
- Start date
She wont starve if she doesn't eat for a day. At 65 i still think kids should eat what is/was prepared for them. You are the mom she the child.
Some times kids will eat and we can see them putting on a pound then the next thing ya know they grow.... then they slack off for a while then eat again
18 when our son was born at 18 we know every thing..... He was an eater, not picky one bit... Looking back at some of the dumb things
how he ever grew is beyond me.. Us young couples would be at the park or something one might say lets go to my house and eat..... We had this toddler that ate, so we would stop get him a candy bar to dull his appetite :help Dumb dumb
Some times kids will eat and we can see them putting on a pound then the next thing ya know they grow.... then they slack off for a while then eat again
18 when our son was born at 18 we know every thing..... He was an eater, not picky one bit... Looking back at some of the dumb things
how he ever grew is beyond me.. Us young couples would be at the park or something one might say lets go to my house and eat..... We had this toddler that ate, so we would stop get him a candy bar to dull his appetite :help Dumb dumb
F
felix
Guest
My wife used to mix food with the food my daughter likes and gives it to her without her knowledge. It works well.
P
phantom309
Guest
I think Mrs Reba hit the nail square on the head.
I was fortunate to have been raised around many people with that old school mentality as well.Was I always happy about that as a child?Nope.But years later I see how much this tough love helped me.
Years ago this pattern was common.You ate what mom cooked or you just went hungry,by your own choice.It didnt take long to learn that the world didnt revolve around your desires,and I think things like that also helped instill a respect for authority at an early age.
Kids are a bit smarter than we often give them credit for.Already yours has learned that if she refuses to eat the food you give her,that she will get something else that she likes.She also sees the pattern of you desperately catering to her when she refuses something she doesnt want.
I wouldnt run wild over all this.I dont blame you for trying to find something she likes,but at some point she needs to learn she doesnt always get what she wants.Hunger is a powerful motivator and I dont think it will take long for her to lower her "standards" and grab whatever is on that plate.
I was fortunate to have been raised around many people with that old school mentality as well.Was I always happy about that as a child?Nope.But years later I see how much this tough love helped me.
Years ago this pattern was common.You ate what mom cooked or you just went hungry,by your own choice.It didnt take long to learn that the world didnt revolve around your desires,and I think things like that also helped instill a respect for authority at an early age.
Kids are a bit smarter than we often give them credit for.Already yours has learned that if she refuses to eat the food you give her,that she will get something else that she likes.She also sees the pattern of you desperately catering to her when she refuses something she doesnt want.
I wouldnt run wild over all this.I dont blame you for trying to find something she likes,but at some point she needs to learn she doesnt always get what she wants.Hunger is a powerful motivator and I dont think it will take long for her to lower her "standards" and grab whatever is on that plate.
handy
Member
One thing to keep in mind is that this is a control issue. Your daughter is controlling what is going into her mouth.
Now, why is she seeking control?
Some very young children seek control because their life is characterized by chaos. I saw this a lot when I worked at the day-care... Parents divorcing, people coming and going out of their lives, moving, having to visit a parent instead of living with him/her... It's amazing how often little children who have a lot of chaos in their lives will react by doing the one thing they can have control over... start controlling what goes into their mouth.
Or, the child could just be a very strong willed child and wants to control mom and dad....
Raven, try to get to the bottom of what exactly it is your child is working to control here. It's important in order to know how to proceed.
Is the reason why your daughter is refusing to eat is because things are just really chaotic in her life right now... have you just moved and took her away from all she knew, are you in the midst of a divorce, any deaths in the family, things like this?
If so, I wouldn't worry too much about food. Once her life stabilizes into the new "normal"... she'll start eating again on her own. Let her eat the cereal and fruit, don't allow desserts or anything. I believe from the bottom of my heart that dessert was invented by moms as a bribe to get kids to eat vegetables anyway. But, cereal with milk and fresh fruit should satisfy her nutritional needs until things calm down.
Now, I have to admit, your post makes it sound much more like she's trying to control you... It sounds as though she's gaining a lot of attention from you regarding food. If this is the case, food has become a tool for her.
If all is well in her life, no major disruptions or anything that you can think of, then the best thing to do is take the tool away.
The best way to do this is to not make any fuss about food.
Here is one thing a friend of mine did, and I did it myself a couple of times with my son who used to refuse to eat anything other than chicken nuggets and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches when we brought him home... after giving him time to settle, about 6 months, I would make him a plate of whatever we were having for dinner as a family, small portions (no portion larger than his fist), but the same food, a little meat, rice or potato, vegetables and a small glass of milk. If he didn't eat any of it, I would cover his plate with plastic wrap, put it in the fridge and serve it to him the next meal.
Once he was served a slice of roast, a dollop of mashed potatoes, and a spoonful of green beans for dinner. He didn't like any of these foods. So, he refused to eat. I wrapped it up and served it for his breakfast the following morning, his am snack, his lunch and his pm snack...he still refused to eat. That night, I served the rest of the family chicken nuggets for dinner, but he got his plate. I told him that he had to clean that plate before he would get anything else. He really fussed about it, because he wanted the chicken nuggets instead, so we packed him off to his room. The next morning, he woke up to, you guessed it, the same plate of roast, potato and green beans. By this time, he was so hungry, he ate it and asked for more. We didn't have anymore of that, so I made him an egg and a slice of toast. I believe that was the last time we had a problem with him refusing to eat altogether. To this day, he doesn't like mashed potatoes, but he will eat fried potatoes or scalloped potatoes. Since he's 12 now, if he chooses not to eat mashed potatoes that's OK... he eats plenty of other things though.
The main thing is to keep in mind what Reba said... no child is going to starve if missing a meal. Also, don't coax, argue, fuss, and especially do not ever beg your child to eat. If she doesn't eat what's placed before her, put it in the fridge and warm it up for her next meal.... don't allow her to eat anything in between meals... sooner or later, she'll eat it. Once this happens with a couple of meals, she'll give up using food as a tool to control you.
Now, why is she seeking control?
Some very young children seek control because their life is characterized by chaos. I saw this a lot when I worked at the day-care... Parents divorcing, people coming and going out of their lives, moving, having to visit a parent instead of living with him/her... It's amazing how often little children who have a lot of chaos in their lives will react by doing the one thing they can have control over... start controlling what goes into their mouth.
Or, the child could just be a very strong willed child and wants to control mom and dad....
Raven, try to get to the bottom of what exactly it is your child is working to control here. It's important in order to know how to proceed.
Is the reason why your daughter is refusing to eat is because things are just really chaotic in her life right now... have you just moved and took her away from all she knew, are you in the midst of a divorce, any deaths in the family, things like this?
If so, I wouldn't worry too much about food. Once her life stabilizes into the new "normal"... she'll start eating again on her own. Let her eat the cereal and fruit, don't allow desserts or anything. I believe from the bottom of my heart that dessert was invented by moms as a bribe to get kids to eat vegetables anyway. But, cereal with milk and fresh fruit should satisfy her nutritional needs until things calm down.
Now, I have to admit, your post makes it sound much more like she's trying to control you... It sounds as though she's gaining a lot of attention from you regarding food. If this is the case, food has become a tool for her.
If all is well in her life, no major disruptions or anything that you can think of, then the best thing to do is take the tool away.
The best way to do this is to not make any fuss about food.
Here is one thing a friend of mine did, and I did it myself a couple of times with my son who used to refuse to eat anything other than chicken nuggets and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches when we brought him home... after giving him time to settle, about 6 months, I would make him a plate of whatever we were having for dinner as a family, small portions (no portion larger than his fist), but the same food, a little meat, rice or potato, vegetables and a small glass of milk. If he didn't eat any of it, I would cover his plate with plastic wrap, put it in the fridge and serve it to him the next meal.
Once he was served a slice of roast, a dollop of mashed potatoes, and a spoonful of green beans for dinner. He didn't like any of these foods. So, he refused to eat. I wrapped it up and served it for his breakfast the following morning, his am snack, his lunch and his pm snack...he still refused to eat. That night, I served the rest of the family chicken nuggets for dinner, but he got his plate. I told him that he had to clean that plate before he would get anything else. He really fussed about it, because he wanted the chicken nuggets instead, so we packed him off to his room. The next morning, he woke up to, you guessed it, the same plate of roast, potato and green beans. By this time, he was so hungry, he ate it and asked for more. We didn't have anymore of that, so I made him an egg and a slice of toast. I believe that was the last time we had a problem with him refusing to eat altogether. To this day, he doesn't like mashed potatoes, but he will eat fried potatoes or scalloped potatoes. Since he's 12 now, if he chooses not to eat mashed potatoes that's OK... he eats plenty of other things though.
The main thing is to keep in mind what Reba said... no child is going to starve if missing a meal. Also, don't coax, argue, fuss, and especially do not ever beg your child to eat. If she doesn't eat what's placed before her, put it in the fridge and warm it up for her next meal.... don't allow her to eat anything in between meals... sooner or later, she'll eat it. Once this happens with a couple of meals, she'll give up using food as a tool to control you.
handy
Member
Raven, I just now saw your introduction in the Locker room...
Given what you shared there, go with the fact that your little one is responding to what's going on in life.
Don't worry or pressure her to eat at this time.... Cereal with milk (grains and protein) and fruit (fiber and vitamins) is more than sufficient to meet her dietary needs now. When things settle down, she'll probably start to eat better on her own.
Sometimes when life is disrupted, a treat is a nice thing... If you allow her treat to be ice cream or frozen yogurt, she'll even gain a little extra nutrition.
Given what you shared there, go with the fact that your little one is responding to what's going on in life.
Don't worry or pressure her to eat at this time.... Cereal with milk (grains and protein) and fruit (fiber and vitamins) is more than sufficient to meet her dietary needs now. When things settle down, she'll probably start to eat better on her own.
Sometimes when life is disrupted, a treat is a nice thing... If you allow her treat to be ice cream or frozen yogurt, she'll even gain a little extra nutrition.
I was a very finicky eater. My mom, a nurse, worried about me getting enough protein because I wouldn't eat meat (or vegetables or anything that was "touching" like sauce, gravy, casseroles, etc.). Her solution was to make me a milk shake (and put an egg in it without me knowing).
Not sure that I'd suggest that particular course but there are Instant Breakfasts that have high nutritional value and could be mixed in easy enough. I don't have any suggestion in particular in mind but maybe something you already know about that would get her through?
Oh, and I thought I'd mention that when I read about Handy's left-over strategy where foods are refrigerated and then warmed over and over I had a concern about bacterial growth. My rule-of-thumb is after cooking refrigerate once only.
Not sure that I'd suggest that particular course but there are Instant Breakfasts that have high nutritional value and could be mixed in easy enough. I don't have any suggestion in particular in mind but maybe something you already know about that would get her through?
Oh, and I thought I'd mention that when I read about Handy's left-over strategy where foods are refrigerated and then warmed over and over I had a concern about bacterial growth. My rule-of-thumb is after cooking refrigerate once only.
G
GojuBrian
Guest
My kids are picky eaters, they grow out of it. I don't force them to eat, but the food is there if they want it.
If they are just being stubborn,well, I'm the dad, and I didn't get here not being stubborn too! lol
They will eat when they are ready. Appeasing them just makes it worse. Don't worry, they won't starve. They may throw a fit, but the food is there when they decide nonetheless.
If they are just being stubborn,well, I'm the dad, and I didn't get here not being stubborn too! lol
They will eat when they are ready. Appeasing them just makes it worse. Don't worry, they won't starve. They may throw a fit, but the food is there when they decide nonetheless.