Dating unsaved women?

[Silversmok3]

First, let me clarify my topic-it isnt to say whether *marriage* to an unsaved woman is good or bad, but my intent is to ask whether its *really* so bad to date unsaved girls.

I ask because of this central problem-I cannot judge the faith of someone based on a glance, so to determine whether someone is genuine about their faith, it stands that I must get to know her first.

Im not asking if a long-term commitment to an unsaved mate is a good idea-I believe scripture covers this topic well enough.Im asking you more experienced members if the idea of dating unsaved mates is *really* so bad.Even Jesus went to some bad neighborhoods, so to speak.


Your thoughts?

 

[Caroline H]

Yeah he did, but he didn't date any of them. I would get to know her without dating her before hand. You can get to know someone through church or friends and find out if they are saved that way.

 

[LaMexicana]

First, let me clarify my topic-it isnt to say whether *marriage* to an unsaved woman is good or bad, but my intent is to ask whether its *really* so bad to date unsaved girls.

I ask because of this central problem-I cannot judge the faith of someone based on a glance, so to determine whether someone is genuine about their faith, it stands that I must get to know her first.

Im not asking if a long-term commitment to an unsaved mate is a good idea-I believe scripture covers this topic well enough.Im asking you more experienced members if the idea of dating unsaved mates is *really* so bad.Even Jesus went to some bad neighborhoods, so to speak.


Your thoughts?

Wouldn't it be easier just to be straight up and ask?

When you mean "date", do you mean more than once? Or are you talking about going to lunch, having a conversation, then deciding?

My opinion is that it's pretty obvious after spending an hour talking with a person where their heart is. I would first be straight up about your beliefs then ask them about theirs. They're either going to agree or disagree with you and any conversation beyond that would show whether what they told you is true or not. I'm going to say that you don't need to spend more than one date with a person to find out where they're at in their spiritual life.

Be honest and ask her to be honest right away...there's no point in doing much else.

 

[Silversmok3]

My church is in spiritual crisis at the moment-most of the girls my age at church aren't genuine about their faith-and the ones that are are taken,go figure lol.


And most of my friends aren't saved,so any advice in this area from them is suspect.

Here's another sticking point-how do I let down a girl who's unsaved without becoming rude?Or coming to her as judgemental?

 

[LaMexicana]

My church is in spiritual crisis at the moment-most of the girls my age at church aren't genuine about their faith-and the ones that are are taken,go figure lol.


And most of my friends aren't saved,so any advice in this area from them is suspect.

Here's another sticking point-how do I let down a girl who's unsaved without becoming rude?Or coming to her as judgemental?

ooooh I'll answer this from my most recent experience. I recently ended a 3 year relationship with and unsaved guy (great guy by the way... ) Anyway, I was just honest. I told him I felt convicted to live my life the way the Lord wants me to live my life. That I needed to raise my daughter correctly. I know you don't have a daughter but the point is to be honest. If she's mature enough, she'll take it well. My guy did. He was actually very supportive and happy that I felt happy. But he was not happy that I did not express this on our very first date 3 years ago. Anyway, no need to be a rudy toodie, just say that the Lord is leading you in a certain direction. Not much arguing can happen with that. And if she freaks out and gets all immature about just walk away. She'll get over it.

Honesty is really the best policy.

 

[Blazin Bones]

Honesty is indeed the best policy, and saying no to a date is generally not so devastating to a gal. Especially if you live with integrity which shows you aren't just saying no because of a "status issue".

As for dating a non-believer, I would say that until 2 Corinthians 6 changes, it will still be a bad idea to date an unsaved person.

 

[Slippermen]

one can never really force faith on someone-you have to show them why you think its a good idea
if they want to they will seek it out (or have in secret and want to keep with the whole non believer image that is popular with youth)