Forgiveness

[stovebolts]

My wife and I have been attending a small group where we are going through a seminar called Pathways to Wholeness”. It is a very powerful seminar and I wanted to share a summary on the events that might hinder our choice to forgive.

1. A painful hurt or injustice.
Memories may be so painful that being able to forgive can seem impossible. Jesus came to heal the brokenhearted. Trust him to heal you. Isaiah 61:1

2. Waiting for an apology from the person who hurt us.
Since that apology may never happen, we would stay in sin and be bound by our choice not to forgive.

3. The person continues hurting me.
Jesus instructs us that we are to forgive 490 times a day. Matthew 18:21-22

4. Thinking that forgiving the person would be the same as excusing what they did.
God is not asking us to excuse or pretend the hurt did not happen. Forgiving is not excusing, it is a choice to release the other person from our judgment, and let God be the judge instead!

5. They do not deserve forgiveness.
None of us deserve forgiveness. Our sins were forgiven in Christ Jesus. He paid the price. It is our choice to be obedient to do what Jesus asked: forgive others as you have been forgiven.

Bitterness:
choosing to hold onto unforgiveness causes bitterness. Bitterness is corrosive.

RC Ministry | Pathways To Wholeness

rcministry.org

 

[for_his_glory]

I had a very hard time with forgiveness because of the deep hurts that I held on to for many, many years. I hardened my heart even though even then I was a Christian, but yet lacked so much knowledge. It was only when I had to give it all to God to help me to forgive those who hurt me as it was eating me up alive inside and then found out it was also shutting down God's blessings in my life. I could not do this by myself and God showed me if I could not forgive then He would not forgive me my trespasses. Now I can look back and understand why those chose to hurt me because they had areas in their own lives that caused them to be hurtful to others. I am quick to forgive and move on as the memories will always be there, but memories do not define who I am in Christ today.

This verse below came so alive to me at that time in my life as I know I had many things going on in my own life I needed forgiveness for.


Mark 11:25 And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.
Mark 11:26 But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.

 

[HeIsRisen2018]

Why is the hardest thing for me not forgiving others, but forgiving myself? I can forgive others in a blink of an eye, but if I'm the one who messed up I start beating myself up inside.

 

[humble soul]

Anyone who says forgiveness is easy, has not lived.
I heard an amusing label for someone who doesn't forgive ..
"an injustice collector". This person actually enjoys going over their list. List of people who wronged them and what they did.
Some murders occur because people can't forgive. We certainly don't want to let it get that far, do we.

 

[HeIsRisen2018]

Well with me, I don't blame anybody who might not forgive me on this forum for things I have said and done. I'm just giving them some time. If they decide to talk to me then great! If not, it's perfectly understandable as well as I think this is just a healing process that we're all in right now.

 

[humble soul]

My problem is I am more a victim than perpetrator. People wrong me but I never wrong them. It's hardly fair I tell you. God said to me recently " don't worry humble I will make those nasty perpetrators pay one day. And I've saved the cosiest place in Heaven for you. How's that? Feel better now?"

 

[Tessa]

We are very privileged that we can approach the throne of God. As with any weakness er have we can ask for the strength to overcome. I believe if we ask God to put forgiveness in our heart He will do. If we pray for a person we cannot help but love them and forgive.

 

[Tessa]

Why is the hardest thing for me not forgiving others, but forgiving myself? I can forgive others in a blink of an eye, but if I'm the one who messed up I start beating myself up inside.

I agree. Thst is much harder to forgive yoursrlf. We have to learn to put it in the past
We also learn from our mistakes and it helps us in the rest of our lives.

 

[humble soul]

Ok I will share a problem I have now. I find it hard to forgive my boss. She ( oops I must be sexist), seems to treating other employees with more respect than me.
I am wrestling with whether it is my imagination or real. But recent incidents just seem to confirm this. Expecting me to clean up after other cleaners. ( Not customers). Giving one of my shifts to another cleaner. Promising one thing, then contradicting. The message seems to be "I'm the boss. You must respect me. But I don't have to respect you."
I find it almost impossible to forgive. As it is ongoing. And will continue.

 

[Jules_C]

I read a marvellous book called "Forgive for Good" by Fred Luskin. Gold dust. I too struggle a lot with this issue.

 

[humble soul]

I read a marvellous book called "Forgive for Good" by Fred Luskin. Gold dust. I too struggle a lot with this issue.

If you master forgiveness, you've mastered life.
Oops God's grace,sorry God.

 

[HeIsRisen2018]

I agree. Thst is much harder to forgive yoursrlf. We have to learn to put it in the past
We also learn from our mistakes and it helps us in the rest of our lives.

Yep! And what I've learned is basically fight my own battles.

 

[humble soul]

Thst is much harder to forgive yoursrl

It is. Even the current problem I have with my boss, I blame myself. For either being too assertive or not assertive enough. My poor communication skills perhaps. And then I blame myself for allowing myself to slide into such a low status job as cleaner. It can be relentless self punishment.

 

[Jules_C]

I often get haunted by my own mistakes, and the betrayals of others. There have been many.

 

[humble soul]

I often get haunted by my own mistakes, and the betrayals of others. There have been many.

Many of us are walking around carrying burdens like this. Apparently there is this guy called Jesus who can lighten our load.

 

[HeIsRisen2018]

 

[Jules_C]

Many of us are walking around carrying burdens like this. Apparently there is this guy called Jesus who can lighten our load.

Yes, but it is from Christians that the betrayals have been the worst...

 

[humble soul]

Yes, but it is from Christians that the betrayals have been the worst...

Ok well, I for one would be interested to read your experiences.

 

[humble soul]

Ok well, I for one would be interested to read your experiences.

The problem for Christians is always spiritual pride. Thinking they have progressed further than others. Arrogance. And condescension. Looking down on others.
My conclusion is these people are further from God than some atheists.

 

[HeIsRisen2018]

I was singing this earlier on and praising God with it.