Nathan Kendall
Member
I've already posted here before, but allow me to introduce myself appropriately for those who wish to know me, so you can understand why I'm here...
Let's start with when I was 13. When I was at that age, I was really into the Yu-Gi-Oh! TCG and joined many sites of that title. I joined one and asked for a job as a newsposter. I was a moronic 13-year old, but I got the job on a site called Yu-Gi-Oh! Island. It later went under, and I moved to Yu-Gi-Oh! Portal. While the site was under construction, I was asked to join the forums. This was my first introduction to a forum. With that said, I was asked to be a moderator. Funny how my first forum, I was staff.
I eventually became a Global Moderator, but that is besides the point. Point is, I loved being there, and that was my internet home and way of connecting with friends. In reality, I had a parent continually going through divorce and switching cities, so I would gain friends only to lose them. However, this seems to be a constant pattern in my life no matter where I go. Two administrators on that site got power hungry, banned the majority of members there, and the place died.
Years later, I came back under the name of ChaosVortex, and joined another site... but this time for my favorite videogame character: Mega Man. It was called the MegaMan Matrix and it still exists today, although it's changed. There used to be an awesome MChat and stuff, but due to a decrease in popularity, it had to be scrapped to save money. Again, I grew up there now, through the majority of my high school years. I learned how to "break out", and my habits, both good and bad, I learned from that site. As such, I became a Christian but didn't act it.
Here is where my story begins to sound like it's from a movie...
After I graduated, I wanted God to get me closer to him. I was tired of being hypocritical with my words, and I wanted to be more of a godly role model. I wanted to mature in other words. I figured I would do it on my own...
But it seems God remembers a thought I had in high school. When a friend of mine asked me what do I look for in a girl, I said to myself all the qualities (both physical and spiritual) that I was looking for. MOST OF ALL: I wanted someone who had conviction.
Moving to 2008 late summer, a friend of mine joined an online game of Super Smash Bros. Brawl, and I wanted to speak with her, so I downloaded AIM just to do that. I got to know her, and I gave her a link to The Matrix. She joined it because I was there, and stalked me. She then read every post I ever made. Every good comment, every funny one, but every filthy dirty word. She began to say, "if you're Christian, why do you say this?" and she gave me post after post.
I was never so sorry in my life. So sorry, I began to think about those qualities I was looking for. She had ALL of them, including the physical ones. We began to see each other, and we eventually dated. That's when I realized she even had qualities I didn't even know I loved. I told everyone that she was physical proof why I do not doubt in God's existence. Nobody could say she is a coincidence, she had to have been created with me in mind...
But, let's move to present day. She eventually stopped being interested in me, and left me for another guy. Even though I was crazy about her, it wasn't enough. I couldn't get it. I was losing my mind. I went to church services and learned that, "When you're in the desert, that's when you get closer to God".
I left the Matrix. I disabled my Facebook account. I'm now currently getting therapy. I'm trying to be a better role model. I'm dropping my video games and habits (I was starting to before we broke up). I believe that God gave me her for my ups and downs, and as such, he's making a point. He's telling me, "You believe in me when you have physical evidence, but I want more than that." I believe we can still be together, but she's so faithless, dishonest, cheated on me, and did so many things that I hate. It seems IMPOSSIBLE to get back together. But, regardless of whether God brings us back together, I'm trying to have blind faith. I'm just now starting to put my complete trust in him, even though it's so hard. All of my friends are now off to college, she's left me, so I have nobody. I'm avoiding facebook to give her space.
That is why I'm here. I'm looking for a new family, but one with a good cornerstone. I'm looking to make friends, good friends. I want someone who I can grow up with, lead me and my heart.
I'll be around when bored or something. I look forward to talking with you guys. Keep me in your prayers.
Let's start with when I was 13. When I was at that age, I was really into the Yu-Gi-Oh! TCG and joined many sites of that title. I joined one and asked for a job as a newsposter. I was a moronic 13-year old, but I got the job on a site called Yu-Gi-Oh! Island. It later went under, and I moved to Yu-Gi-Oh! Portal. While the site was under construction, I was asked to join the forums. This was my first introduction to a forum. With that said, I was asked to be a moderator. Funny how my first forum, I was staff.
I eventually became a Global Moderator, but that is besides the point. Point is, I loved being there, and that was my internet home and way of connecting with friends. In reality, I had a parent continually going through divorce and switching cities, so I would gain friends only to lose them. However, this seems to be a constant pattern in my life no matter where I go. Two administrators on that site got power hungry, banned the majority of members there, and the place died.
Years later, I came back under the name of ChaosVortex, and joined another site... but this time for my favorite videogame character: Mega Man. It was called the MegaMan Matrix and it still exists today, although it's changed. There used to be an awesome MChat and stuff, but due to a decrease in popularity, it had to be scrapped to save money. Again, I grew up there now, through the majority of my high school years. I learned how to "break out", and my habits, both good and bad, I learned from that site. As such, I became a Christian but didn't act it.
Here is where my story begins to sound like it's from a movie...
After I graduated, I wanted God to get me closer to him. I was tired of being hypocritical with my words, and I wanted to be more of a godly role model. I wanted to mature in other words. I figured I would do it on my own...
But it seems God remembers a thought I had in high school. When a friend of mine asked me what do I look for in a girl, I said to myself all the qualities (both physical and spiritual) that I was looking for. MOST OF ALL: I wanted someone who had conviction.
Moving to 2008 late summer, a friend of mine joined an online game of Super Smash Bros. Brawl, and I wanted to speak with her, so I downloaded AIM just to do that. I got to know her, and I gave her a link to The Matrix. She joined it because I was there, and stalked me. She then read every post I ever made. Every good comment, every funny one, but every filthy dirty word. She began to say, "if you're Christian, why do you say this?" and she gave me post after post.
I was never so sorry in my life. So sorry, I began to think about those qualities I was looking for. She had ALL of them, including the physical ones. We began to see each other, and we eventually dated. That's when I realized she even had qualities I didn't even know I loved. I told everyone that she was physical proof why I do not doubt in God's existence. Nobody could say she is a coincidence, she had to have been created with me in mind...
But, let's move to present day. She eventually stopped being interested in me, and left me for another guy. Even though I was crazy about her, it wasn't enough. I couldn't get it. I was losing my mind. I went to church services and learned that, "When you're in the desert, that's when you get closer to God".
I left the Matrix. I disabled my Facebook account. I'm now currently getting therapy. I'm trying to be a better role model. I'm dropping my video games and habits (I was starting to before we broke up). I believe that God gave me her for my ups and downs, and as such, he's making a point. He's telling me, "You believe in me when you have physical evidence, but I want more than that." I believe we can still be together, but she's so faithless, dishonest, cheated on me, and did so many things that I hate. It seems IMPOSSIBLE to get back together. But, regardless of whether God brings us back together, I'm trying to have blind faith. I'm just now starting to put my complete trust in him, even though it's so hard. All of my friends are now off to college, she's left me, so I have nobody. I'm avoiding facebook to give her space.
That is why I'm here. I'm looking for a new family, but one with a good cornerstone. I'm looking to make friends, good friends. I want someone who I can grow up with, lead me and my heart.
I'll be around when bored or something. I look forward to talking with you guys. Keep me in your prayers.
