Help with Marital Sex Life While Living with Parents

[Kanakona]

Aloha,

I'm a 33 year old male who will be soon marrying a 35 year old woman from the Philippines. My fiance just turned 35 a few days ago.

We plan on living with my parents on their property, while we are building a separate home that is on the same land as my parents. This would help us save money rather than renting a home for ourselves.

My parents and my fiance are in support of this. However, when I discuss the issue of being intimate with my significant other, she is somewhat shy and nervous about the possibility of us having sex in my parents' house. My fiance thinks it might be disrespectful but I'm trying to persuade her that it isn't, since there are couples out there who are intimate while they are living with families. My parents' house is fairly big, and we can find privacy for our time to be intimate. Although, my fiance still kind of nervous about it, and I'm kind of frustrated that I won't be able to be intimate with her if she is not willing to be intimate with me in my parents' place. It will take probably 6-8 months for our house to be built on my parents' land. I want to save money just as much as my fiance, and just as my parents want us to save money. We are blessed with our situation.

However, I'm often anxious about the prospect that my fiance is getting older, and that we have only so many years to have a child of our own. We both want a child, at least two children. Of course, to do so means we have to be regularly engaged in sex.

Likewise, my fiance has a lower sex drive than me. We discuss this openly that I need more intimacy than she does, and that my fiance even proposed to have only three times a week of sex, but I think it should be at least once a day, or once every other day.

So, I suppose my question is how do I get my fiance to feel comfortable about us having sex in my parents' home, and also how do I reconcile our sex drives? How do I get my fiance to be as interested in lovemaking as I am?

Mahalo,
Kana

 

[Anaphora]

Corinthians chapter 7 . Marriage is legal. Consenting adults don't need parents sticking their noses in.
Myself, I won't marry. I converted to christianity in year 2000. I studied under pastor Murray for 20 years.
Nothing wrong with marriage. We're coming close to the 6th trump. Satan as antichrist will come 6th trump, revelation chapter 8 and 2 thessalonians chapter 2.

I would be careful who is in foxhole with you friend. Those who are biblically illiterate will worship antichrist near future.

Ephesians chapter 6. Gospel armour is knowledge and wisdom of God's word. False messiah will twist God's word around and lie to people. Those who are spiritually dead will be deceived by antichrist near future.

Think over what I said.

You don't want your values and beliefs compromised. Get the picture.

When satan as antichrist comes 6th trump, it's spirtual war. Its words, ideas and concepts. Be careful who is in foxhole with you.
I hope you understand this.

Those who worshipped antichrist near future, will go to sheol, its holding place for the spirtualty dead or wicked until judgement day.
Documentation. Psalm chapter 6
Revelation chapter 20
Psalm chapter 9
Luke chapter 16
Take care.

 

[Hopeful 2]

Aloha,

I'm a 33 year old male who will be soon marrying a 35 year old woman from the Philippines. My fiance just turned 35 a few days ago.

We plan on living with my parents on their property, while we are building a separate home that is on the same land as my parents. This would help us save money rather than renting a home for ourselves.

My parents and my fiance are in support of this. However, when I discuss the issue of being intimate with my significant other, she is somewhat shy and nervous about the possibility of us having sex in my parents' house. My fiance thinks it might be disrespectful but I'm trying to persuade her that it isn't, since there are couples out there who are intimate while they are living with families. My parents' house is fairly big, and we can find privacy for our time to be intimate. Although, my fiance still kind of nervous about it, and I'm kind of frustrated that I won't be able to be intimate with her if she is not willing to be intimate with me in my parents' place. It will take probably 6-8 months for our house to be built on my parents' land. I want to save money just as much as my fiance, and just as my parents want us to save money. We are blessed with our situation.

However, I'm often anxious about the prospect that my fiance is getting older, and that we have only so many years to have a child of our own. We both want a child, at least two children. Of course, to do so means we have to be regularly engaged in sex.

Likewise, my fiance has a lower sex drive than me. We discuss this openly that I need more intimacy than she does, and that my fiance even proposed to have only three times a week of sex, but I think it should be at least once a day, or once every other day.

So, I suppose my question is how do I get my fiance to feel comfortable about us having sex in my parents' home, and also how do I reconcile our sex drives? How do I get my fiance to be as interested in lovemaking as I am?

Mahalo,
Kana

Buy a tent and go camping.
I think you should be worried about the wedding first, as you seem to be on different pages in regard to certain aspects of marriage.

 

[Kanakona]

Buy a tent and go camping.
I think you should be worried about the wedding first, as you seem to be on different pages in regard to certain aspects of marriage.

Aloha, thanks for your message. We are keen to get married soon because of my fiance's fiance visa. We only have 90 days to marry, so we have a short timeline to marry. We are not on different pages in regards to the aspects of our marriage. We are just trying to better understand ourselves in respects to our needs, and what our living situation is going to be like. We have considered intimacy outside of the home, and Hawaii has plenty of places for that outdoors.

 

[Hopeful 2]

Aloha, thanks for your message. We are keen to get married soon because of my fiance's fiance visa. We only have 90 days to marry, so we have a short timeline to marry. We are not on different pages in regards to the aspects of our marriage. We are just trying to better understand ourselves in respects to our needs, and what our living situation is going to be like. We have considered intimacy outside of the home, and Hawaii has plenty of places for that outdoors.

Sorry to say this, but it sounds like a scam.
She is using you to get US citizenship. ( I hope I am wrong...)
How did you meet this woman ?
How long have you known her ?

 

[Kanakona]

Sorry to say this, but it sounds like a scam.
She is using you to get US citizenship. ( I hope I am wrong...)
How did you meet this woman ?
How long have you known her ?

It isn't a scam. I've known this woman since 2018. I've met her in person 5 times. She is the most amazing woman. We've frequently engaged in oral sex and only just recently in premarital vaginal sex. She does enjoy but she desists whenever I get aggressive or too needy. She does not like feeling to be pressured into sex, and I understand. She is learning about my needs as much I'm learning about hers. We are just trying to get a better understanding as to how to we move forward as a couple, meeting our needs, while also having to work within limitations that we have right now.

 

[Hopeful 2]

It isn't a scam. I've known this woman since 2018. I've met her in person 5 times. She is the most amazing woman. We've frequently engaged in oral sex and only just recently in premarital vaginal sex. She does enjoy but she desists whenever I get aggressive or too needy. She does not like feeling to be pressured into sex, and I understand. She is learning about my needs as much I'm learning about hers. We are just trying to get a better understanding as to how to we move forward as a couple, meeting our needs, while also having to work within limitations that we have right now.

You BOTH need to repent of your sexual sins, and get right with God before doing anything.

 

[Who Me]

So, I suppose my question is how do I get my fiance to feel comfortable about us having sex in my parents' home, and also how do I reconcile our sex drives?

Turn it around, how are you going to reassure your wife that you care about her worries?
You have to listen to her.
You aren't married yet, so may I suggest you cut some of the fribbilous items from your wedding, I suggest no video, limit the photos, cut the size of the wedding breakfast and the party and use the savings to pay for a honeymoon.
Marriage is about communicating and that means listening.
For women the home has enormous emotional significance, so let her become accustomed to being married, to having a husband, to get to know your parents.
She will get used to living in her Mother in Laws Kingdom, but you have to support her.

As for sex drive, you realise you start making love to your wife at breakfast, not five minutes before going to bed!
Men are turned on by sight, imagination, but wo en are turned on by emotions, feelings, so you court her, make her realise she is a fantastic sexy lady that you have eyes only for her.