How Serious Do you Take Submission Issue?

[President]

I was talking to a Christian singer who visited my church recently. My wife and I took him sight-seeing. We went off somewhere, just the two of us guys, for a while. We started talking about wives submitting to husbands. His wife had only recently started taking it seriously. It's been fairly recent for mine, too. He said he heard a certain preacher's wife-- a preacher who teaches on submission-- make jokes about wive's submitting to husbands. His wife was at the conference, and he felt joking about it was harmful to the women there.

How seriously do you take this issue? How do you implement it and deal with it in your marriage? How has obedience to the Lord in this area been a blessing to your marriage?

 

[Hammer]

Every organization has only one chief officer or president. Why? Because an organization can't function with two leaders of equal authority. For a marriage to be happy and functional, someone has to submit to the other. If a couple are in a car and they come to a fork in the road, one says left, the other says right, if one doesn't submit to the other, they'll just fight and get nowhere.

Even ignoring the Bible, that leader should be the man. Men are biologically more practical in their thinking. And, wives really won't respect a man who isn't up to the job of leading.

 

[Knotical]

This is a very important issue, especially since the bible in support of it. However, as we pointed out in another thread it is important to note that not only are wives suppost to submit to their husbands, the husbands are to be servant leaders, not mini-dictators. Also, there is still room for the wife to speak up should the husband start acting in an unbiblical manner.

In regards to the preachers wife making light of this issue, it would have to say I would seriously question that pastors control over his own household, and whether he is leading his flock by example. She is being a very poor reflection on his ministry.

 

[thisnumbersdisconnected]

How seriously do you take this issue? How do you implement it and deal with it in your marriage? How has obedience to the Lord in this area been a blessing to your marriage?

I take it very seriously from the aspect of who is responsible for the spiritual health and welfare of the family. But in other aspects of home life, I know many women who are far better at handling finances than the man of the house is. That would include me. It makes no sense to insist on submission in areas where the wife is more gifted and talented than the man. That may be a blow to the guy's ego, but tough! Would he rather have a healthy bank account that the wife manages, or would he rather screw up the family finances by standing on a "biblical principle" that wasn't addressed to that aspect of home life? It was, after all, only a spiritual directive.

 

[Knotical]

I take it very seriously from the aspect of who is responsible for the spiritual health and welfare of the family. But in other aspects of home life, I know many women who are far better at handling finances than the man of the house is. That would include me. It makes no sense to insist on submission in areas where the wife is more gifted and talented than the man. That may be a blow to the guy's ego, but tough! Would he rather have a healthy bank account that the wife manages, or would he rather screw up the family finances by standing on a "biblical principle" that wasn't addressed to that aspect of home life? It was, after all, only a spiritual directive.

Quite honestly it is a servant leader that is willing to recognize what his strengths and weaknesses are, and is able to delegate certain responsibilities that his wife might be better at handling. In that light I believe you are still adhering to this principle.

 

[Bfnaught]

I see the submission issue as a responsibility issue. A wife being submissive doesn't mean her husband gets to boss her around. To me it means that ultimately he has to make the final decisions. If my wife is better at finances and we decide that she will handle the bills, that's ok because I took her strengths and her opinion into consideration and made a decision. If she is unable to manage it and gets us into some financial trouble, I'm ultimately responsible because it is my household.

My wife has no problem submitting as long as she is confident that I am submitting to Christ. She was created to be my helper and it is my role to sacrifice for her the way that Christ sacrificed for me.

 

[chakham]

Im the husband and my wife always submits to and agrees with my decision(s)! Which is to say they are based upon the fact she is always right . Well most of the time, sometimes I get one right too once in awhile.

This submission debate is silly. Marriage is I think a much more dynamic situation of ebbs and flows of emotions, thoughts, desires, wants, needs, personalities, etc etc. We have learned more of each other as we grow older together and our decisions do become easier to make. Id say to the males out there worried who should submit to you. "Lighten up Francis". If you think by pointing out a couple of sentences what some guy said 2000 years ago is your authority, try again. There is I believe more to it than that. You need to earn her trust.

Anyways, I think in a marriage we should together act as one in thought motive and deed.

 

[President]

Im the husband and my wife always submits to and agrees with my decision(s)! Which is to say they are based upon the fact she is always right . Well most of the time, sometimes I get one right too once in awhile.

Are you one of those guys who always gets the last word in his marriage..."Yes dear."?

That's certainly not what I aspire to.

This submission debate is silly. Marriage is I think a much more dynamic situation of ebbs and flows of emotions, thoughts, desires, wants, needs, personalities, etc etc. We have learned more of each other as we grow older together and our decisions do become easier to make. Id say to the males out there worried who should submit to you. "Lighten up Francis". If you think by pointing out a couple of sentences what some guy said 2000 years ago is your authority, try again. There is I believe more to it than that. You need to earn her trust.

You may think it is silly. Most of us Christians don't think the word of God is silly. We don't think the teachings of the apostles whom the Lord sent to be silly.

Submission is one of many aspects to marriage. In a Christian marriage, the husband is the head and the wife is supposed to submit. The husband is supposed to love his wife as Christ gave the church and gave Himself for her, and the wife is to reverence her husband.

Marital conflicts comes from not doing these things. This is why we have so many frivilous divorces, so many children raised without fathers in the home. Rejecting God's plan for marriage is why we have wives treating their husbands like children, bossing them around. It's why we don't see father's exercising leadership in the home.

You may think it's silly. Some of us take it very seriously.

Anyways, I think in a marriage we should together act as one in thought motive and deed.[/QUOTE]

 

[AirDancer]

Marriage is I Anyways, I think in a marriage we should together act as one in thought motive and deed.

You have described the ultimate in any Christian marriage. The husband and wife, through their relationship, should act as one in thought, motive and deed. Decisions reached in unison provide stability and consistency in a marriage; children (who grow up in a household where the parents are 'one') quickly learn that they cannot play one parent off the other.

In a Christian household, it is the husband who is the head. Will 2 people in a marriage always 100% of the time see eye-to-eye on issues? No, there will be times when vantage points will differ. As the leader, he knows there will be times when it's wiser to seek his wife's point of view. Discussion is held....sometimes the husband will see the wife's perspective & agree.... sometimes they will compromise & meet in the middle. Or, there will be times when the husband and wife don't agree, but in their Christian roles, the husband will make the decision.

This certainly does not make the wife a 'slave' ... in fact, that is in opposition to what Scripture says. By discussing issues with his wife doesn't make him a milque toast, either...for a wise leader will seek the counsel of others before making certain decisions.

You mention trust. There should definitely be trust prior to marriage; otherwise, without trust, respect cannot survive. And without respect, love falters and is at risk of disappearing altogether.

 

[The Unbeliever]

I don't worry about it myself, but this is obviously because it is not a part of my belief system. I try to be supportive of my wife and do my part to serve my family, but I see our relationship more as a partnership of equals than one of hierarchy. When there is disagreement, it usually comes down to which of us is less motivated to continue pushing our agenda. But that rarely happens since we have pretty different spheres of expertise and so defer to one another most of the time depending on where the expertise lies.