I'm Celibate and my Girlfriend doesn't like that.

[Mikey]

I won't marry her then.
I won't let us be in a situation where we could fall into temptation.
I still want to be close to her though...
She's the only person who really knows me...
Shes been my friend for 4 years...
She was the only person I ever felt the need to be close to.
I want to keep showing her God's love, and see if she warms up to Him through me.
A lot of your posts seem cold and uncaring, like you don't see her as a person, but I know you're just trying to help.
You give me truth, whether it hurts or not.
Thank you all for being so to the point with me.
I'll break this off, but I want to see how things progress first.
I'll pray for God to help her.
I'll pray for Him to open her heart.
I'll pray for strength to end this if He doesn't change her..

 

[Cornelius]

Hi dear brother. I am glad that you have come to a real commitment in your life with the Lord

This situation with this girl is a trial in your life. I see some clear red flags in your post regarding this person. She is manipulating you brother , because she makes you do things that is against your will. She is also standing between you and God at this moment. You know this is true.

A sure sign is the fact that she is telling you she will kill herself when you leave her. Now she is digging her hooks deeper into your soul, making you responsible for her life and death. That is not good.

God is sovereign and as such, He already has the perfect partner for you. Your real wife is out there and you are being sidetracked by this person, who has shown no love and respect for you. She has slowly been breaking your resistance down, so that she can feed her own lusts . That is the opposite of love. Its what vampires do. She might be sweet and nice, but its time to let go of her and she must find the Lord. Do not think that you must lead her to the Lord and then all will change.She is NOT going to go that way with you. She wants you and if she can get pregnant with your child, she would finally have you, even if you know that she is not the wife the Lord has for you.

Pardon me for being straightforward with you, but you have to end this as soon as possible. She is keeping you from having victory in your Christian walk, so you have to ask who her master is at this moment, because it surely is not the Lord.

The Bible says: How shall two walk together unless they agree?
also: You must not be unequally yoked !

If we ignore the advice of the Lord, we will definitely reap the fruit of our wrong choices. You are so young and your life is still in front of you, so please, please do not allow this to become a mistake that will ruin your young life forever.

your brother
Cornelius

 

[Mikey]

If this is what God wills, I'll get her out of my life.
This is just another part of the test, but I've grown so worldly that I failed to see it as such.
I'll break up with her, but I'll atleast have the decency to do it nicely, I'll let her down softly and slowly so It doesn't come out of nowhere.
Thank you all for your advice.
I'm going to change my first post to ask for some of the help that I haven't recieved yet.
EDIT:...Why can't I edit my first post?
I reported it, and my request for it's change.

 

[Caroline H]

You can only edit posts within 48 hours I think it is, otherwise people could change the entire discussion causing confusion in a topic. Do you not want to just go ahead and post separately here what you need advice about?

 

[Mikey]

Yeah.
Could could you please change it for to :

My athiest GF doesn't like the fact that I'm celibate.
I want to serve God, but she keeps trying to bring me down.

All the rest is unneeded extra information that I probably shouldn't have posted...

Other help that I need is :
*Can I still be her friend?
*If she comes to be 'ok' with my faith, but doesn't accept Christ is she still off-limits?
*Why is it that it's ok for married couples to do lustful things? (Be 'dirty' with each other?)

 

[Caroline H]

Done

 

[Mikey]

Thank you!

 

[Cornelius]

Yeah.
Could could you please change it for to :

My athiest GF doesn't like the fact that I'm celibate.
I want to serve God, but she keeps trying to bring me down.

All the rest is unneeded extra information that I probably shouldn't have posted...

Other help that I need is :
*Can I still be her friend?
*If she comes to be 'ok' with my faith, but doesn't accept Christ is she still off-limits?
*Why is it that it's ok for married couples to do lustful things? (Be 'dirty' with each other?)

Its actually not OK for married couples to perform lustful acts with each other. Lust is lust and not love. The Bible says husbands LOVE your wives.The world has taught us that lust is love, but it is not. So even in marriage , people must be pure.

If you stay in contact with this lady, then you will soon see the pattern will return, even after your "breakup". She will see to it.

your brother
C

 

[Mikey]

Do you think it is ok for married couples to have sex whenever, how ever much they want?
It seems the general thought is it's wrong to have sex before marriage, but when you're married, do it as much as you want...

I would think one should only have sex to have children, but it was pointed out that 'barren' couples should still be able to have sex.
I'm disqusted by the thought of sex as a bodily manipulation or game...

 

[jasoncran]

sex whenever or whereever in the marriage bed along is ok,as it is the proper setting of course.

 

[Caroline H]

God designed sex for procreation, yes. But he also gave it as a gift. Consider animals, how they mate for procreation and that's it. But humans are able to have sex for non-procreational means, and enjoy it. The Bible has this to say regarding sex in marriage.

1 Corinthians 7:1-5 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: "It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman." But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. for the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a time, that you may devote yourselfes to prayer, but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Perhaps it is your experiences of sex outside of marriage that are tainting your view of what God has called good? That is why He warns us to wait until we are married. Marriage provides a safe, trusting, loving, unselfish environment for sex, and that is what is proper and good in the sight of God. But when it is used outside of those protective boundaries there is much potential for hurt and anguish.

 

[Mikey]

Wouldn't that lead to more children than one could take care of?
Or was God's word promoting birth control?

 

[jasoncran]

not sure in the old days, birth control is bad to some and ok to others.

my wife cant have kids, she had her uterus removed, she has kids before i married her.

jason

 

[Caroline H]

Wouldn't that lead to more children than one could take care of?
Or was God's word promoting birth control?

There are other ways to prevent children than using modern birth control methods. Not all birth control is bad anyway, but even if there is no method of interference, all it takes is to avoid a certain time. It's not that complicated.

 

[jasoncran]

i think i know what your thinking

jason

 

[Mikey]

Is it biblical to manipulate one's body?
How is counting the days and waiting until one is temporarily infertile moraly different than using interference?
I just don't understand the 'hypocrisy' of sex.
(Note: I don't intend on haviong sex anyway, just trying to understand what makes one thing ok with God and the other not.)

 

[Caroline H]

Mikey, how much of the Bible have you read? I ask that because many of the answers you seek are there, and just getting other people's opinions on the matter is not going to help you formulate your own answer. You are young still, and many of the views you hold will change as you go through different life experiences...and many won't. But unless you dig for yourself and find the answers I think you're only going to end up with more questions. Find a good Godly man in your church that you trust and ask him to help guide you through the Scriptures as you study them for yourself. That's all the advice I have for you.

 

[Mikey]

I've read the majority of the Bible, but I wanted to see what other christians thought about it.
The Bible doesn't seem to say much concerning sex in marriage.
It says alot obout incest,fornification,homosexuality,etc., but what about the married couples?
My last question for example, I didn't find.
I want to nderstand more about God's will for married couples.
Song of Soloman says alot, but I couldn't find much concerning birth control in the Bible, except that God loves the child the momemnt it is 'concieved' in the womb.
Wouldn't God be against Birth Control of any kind?
But then sex would cause over-population and poverty.

 

[Caroline H]

Did you not read my post at the top in which I quoted from Corinthians? It has quite a bit to say concerning sex within marriage, and how couples are not to withhold sex from each other. That is obviously not referring to sex for the means of procreation only, otherwise it wouldn't make any sense. The Bible doesn't speak about birth control just like it doesn't speak directly about a lot of things...i.e. euthanasia or suicide. The answers to these questions are found in understanding the whole of Scripture, and the character of God.

 

[Mikey]

I read it, but like you say, it doesn't address the consequenses of said actions...
One could read the Bible all they want, but if it isn't addressed, it can't be understood, can it?