Is the school out of line or am I?

[jruner]

My oldest son mentioned as a rebellious teen in an earlier post finally broke down and told me what a big part of the problem was regarding his anger. I have been praying that he would talk to someone about it for a long time. School bullies, they bullied him and other kids along with teachers in his opinion. My son did not like being called stupid for learning issues or being told his Dad was a spaz as I have epilepsy. He named three popular boys who have also been calling girls and female teachers bad sexual words daily in class and in the halls.

While taking him out of school one teacher complained to me about the lack of control he had because of some bad students as he put it. The school did not follow its own policy even when teachers would write up these kids as many as eight times they never got more than in school suspension. This has gone on since last October with multiple victims.

Now the next day after my son asked to be pulled out the superintendent of schools, who is also the co-principal called and accused us as parents of educational neglect. He also accused us of not forcing our son to talk with him or the school counselor, who usually is not there. He was right we saw no point. My son did have the teachers write up the bullies. He told us he only went to school because of two friends and football, that says a lot. We already told him to continue to see friends and to find extra activities that he enjoys where he feels happy and safe.

We had our son talk to law enforcement about the bullies and his desire to fight them to make them stop and to loving christian friends who have mental health training about his hurt and anger and they all feel that he just wants a safer learning environment (they all let him know fighting won't fix anything as did we) and sees it in how we teach his siblings in a flexible loving way.


Thoughts?

 

[phantom309]

If everything is as outlined then theres no way you could be considered to be at fault.

At this point,provided the budget can handle it,I would even hire a lawyer to contact the school and look into the matter.Im usually the last to suggest legal action due to the flood of frivolous lawsuits today..but if thats what it takes to get them to pucker up and follow their own procedures then so be it.

One thing that may also be effective is to get in contact with all these other parents you mentioned and set up a meeting with this superintendent in which all of you are present.Lay out your case,voice your complaints and threaten legal action if the school continues to ignore policy/procedure and show favoritism towards these students.If they dont comply then follow through with that threat.I would also see what would be the criteria for pressing criminal charges on both the students involved and the staff for neglect.

I definitely wouldnt put up with this co-principle calling me to allege the things he did.If he wants to talk about educational neglect then he should be doing something about these little guys harassing your son.Youre under no obligation to have your child in a school counselor office when we all know that the majority of them are clueless and/or truly care less about what goes on with those kids.Today its been reduced to mere formality.

Im sure some here wont agree with me on this one,but sometimes the best cure for a cocky bully is a good old fashioned beat-down.They can hide behind parents and the coach quite a bit and use that leverage to make things hard on your boy.On occasion the better solution is just to let the kids handle things themselves..once an adequate spanking has been delivered the bullies most often back it down or in proper cowardly fashion seek a more convenient target.

With that said,for clarity Ill add that in most cases,Ill agree..discourage kids from fighting,its not a trend or pattern you want them to develop as a means of solving a problem.At times,there is no better solution and you just have to defend yourself.If he cant swap schools,or action be taken that makes those guys leave him alone it will eventually happen regardless.We all have an upper limit of patience and understanding,and when youve had enough,youve simply had enough.

 

[reba]

The schools in the USA are controlled by liberals. I believe many liberals start with a humanistic good heart. Their end result is chaos.
When we look at the school system we see the building block of life without God as head. sad and scary indeed.
I found the only privet school i could afford was Catholic big step for this ol pentecostal gal... off my kids went the first day our son came out of school with ' guess what i learned today'.... A simple often repeated explanation to the kids of the difference between the bible and church rules etc....took care of the denominational problelm

Speaking in very general terms....We grown ups are to be the salt of the earth. We are to guide and protect our children. We are the salt not the kids.. If at all possible find a way to remove your kids form the school. Do not neglect their education.

 

[modernnihilst]

To quote a bad movie "Bullies are like baloons, pop em once and they go away." (Rocky 4). I am not a advocate of violence(well outside a cage/ring at least) however it sounds as if you have exhausted all other reasonable options at this point. I does strike me as odd, with the past history of school shootings caused in part by the kids being bullied, that the school isnt doing anything about these kids. I'd be willing to bet that your son isnt the only target of these chuckleheads.

 

[jruner]

I do not believe in violence except in defense of life or limb and yes this is going on with others including the teachers and students. It was complained about a couple of years ago in the local paper but it is getting worse. As stated above more than teacher one teacher is overwhelmed.

My son is out of this school and now being taught along with his siblings at home. If the school continues to attack my family for home-schooling, then yes a lawyer will be involved. We were told my son will get no credit for the current semester, well they taught him to be a victim (he did report this) and that he would not be protected what kind of lesson is that, that the school can bully too?