The best thing I can say here in general is that: Marriage is a lot of hard work.
I remember before I got married, I would tell myself, "Personality is what counts and good looks are a bonus." Thinking about how I would think that, it makes sense and at times, it might not. It's a bit hard to have kids with someone that you're not attracted to, I suppose. I can see the struggle.
I'm not sure if I've heard of someone agreeing to marry someone they've never met in person. I can see how this could cause some issues down the road.
There was a speaker once that I heard say, "What's the number one cause of divorce? Unmet expectations!" You know, I don't think he's wrong. I've come across unmet expectations even in my marriage, it happens in life.
You know, I had a time where I felt attraction and magnetism towards other men. What I can say is resist this spiritual attack with everything you've got! I remember fearing leaving the house to even go to church because what if I cheated on my husband? I didn't want to be around other guys, I was scared. I didn't know why I was thinking that way. I definitely felt spiritually under attack. After a good while - talking like a month or two, those feelings subsided. Not sure what brought it on in the first place, which is scary. Resist and stand your ground. Nothing hurts your partner more than cheating.
Some people are skinny for a variety of reasons. Sometimes it's metabolism, hyperthyroidism, digestive problems, malnutrition, is extremely physically active, etc. I was naturally skinny for so many years of my life. It didn't matter what I ate, I was a stick. When I got ill and had no appetite, I was even worse. Maybe he's got some health issue going on?
Everyone has their faults for sure. I wasn't all that great with hygeine when I got married, either. It wasn't because my parents didn't care about my hygiene as they got onto me all the time. It simply became my husband's issue, too, when we left home. I can say, he encouraged better, hygienic habits and I would say my hygiene is much better now a days. Instead of, "You stink! Get a shower!" He would say, "How about we go out in a bit or go do something? Go ahead and shower first and then get ready while I finish up here then pick out my clothes." type of thing. I would say it was effective.
Being good with money is a definite skill that not all learn. Might I suggest a Dave Ramsey's course of some type? Brush up on the blog? Perhaps teach your husband what you know? I have learned a whole lot from my husband. Perhaps your husband can learn a lot from you?
Not everyone is a leader, but I suppose the pressure is there when you're man of the house and there is a level of responsibility that automatically comes with being an adult. That can be worked on with classes or encouragement as well.
Definitely sit down and try to talk with him and if communication is a problem, find a Christian counselor (if possible) to go to so this can get sorted out.
Having kids will not solve these problems. Trust me, they will be there, and it only gets worse when your kids see you and your husband's problems and take notice.
