Let's talk ministry people, what's on your minds?
That God has been calling my husband and I into ministry and we have continuously returned to the wilderness. My hometown is our Ninevah. We hate it there, we aren't fond of the people, and we want to escape. The story of Jonah sounds like the solution is simple (to reach out to the people where God sends you). How many of us shake our heads while reading Jonah? I even do, but I totally understand his struggle.
My husband wanted to move right after we got married, but I felt we should focus on settling in before getting up and moving. I didn't want to leave friends or family. We stayed for the time being. I became bitter while leaving my parent's church by my own decision. My closest friends of many years no longer spoke to me and I shut myself away from people. I then said to my husband, "There is nothing left for me here. Let's move."
We saved up and were moving all the way to the opposite end of the country. About halfway through our trip, something was getting to me. I felt something tell me, "You must go back." It troubled me so. I tried to ignore it and dismissed it as anxiety of moving somewhere new and hid this from my husband. On ths drive, a few states later, my husband says to me, "I have this odd feeling we shouldn"t be here." I said, "Oh no, not you, too." We finished the drive to our destination. We used the time to rest, pray, and write everything down in a notebook that we were gonna do when we got back. This notebook got lost somehow. We trusted in ourselves and when we figured out we were going to have a baby, we lost focus.
We got tangled in making enough money. Before our baby turned 1, we moved about 4 hours away and followed this promise of money.
We wound up in a corner. Suddenly everything was falling apart. We moved back to our hometown. God set my husband up with a job and place to live before we got there. We praised God, thanked him for a fresh start. We felt oddly at home.
Things got super difficult, and we felt like it was unbearable. We found out we were pregnant. His old job offered him his job back. We traveled back 4 hours away.
Here we are, only days before moving back to our hometown again. We realize we have been going in circles and it is no accident. We have been running into the wilderness and God turns us around each time. Thankfully, a big fish swallowing us whole is not involved.
We realize we need to listen to God calling us into ministry, get past our fears, and persevere through the hard times. We need to lean on God and cast our cares upon him rather than run. Everytime we returned to our hometown God gave us a blessing (a child) and we can't believe we did not see this sign before among everything else.
I know Christ will shine through our weaknesses if we let Him.