Christ_empowered
Member
they;'re wonderful people. I'm 36, labeled with 'Schizophrenia,' had a hard life until recently (not all 'everybody else's fault, btw), and...
yeah. i visited with them in the early afternoon, instead of going over for dinner. i needed a keyboard, because the letters on mine were sticking, etc. dad provided one he had, already, a spare I guess. no big deal.
i dunno. l try to think, now, how difficult it was for them...not just dealing with my hot mess, but before, the whole thing...getting married early 20s, doing grad school together, surprised by a baby, up the ladder in white collar jobs that, honestly, weren't all they were cut out to be till the last 15 years or so...well, mama's job...the pay got better, the colleagues got worse. ugh :-(
and now? i dunno, I mean...they both do volunteer work, in different positions, at a non-profit. mama's fully retired, dad's still going part time for now. i...cannot work. was i just some bright, precocious 'punk' who should never have gone to college? does it matter, now? anyway...
they're good to me. they...love me, and i love them as I should. I do wish they would come to know Jesus, truly and fully. then again...I only came to know Jesus because He made it happen, and just in the nick of time, too. they've had to work and do adult stuff, been burned by church people, and...??? in His timing, I hope and pray.
I dunno. -forgiveness- is key, here. 1st Jesus moved on my heart, so I cried out for God's forgiveness in Christ. Now, 8 years later, it does appear....we're close, and they don't seem to hold things against me, very much. i dunno. i love them, of course. and...
I don't think its all 'water under the bridge,' just yet. ever? maybe...one day? maybe...bit by bit, piece by piece, The Lord will work it out, so I can be...I dunno...forgiven, for who I was and what I did, pre-Jesus? its just...they're good people. oh, and they're both better about going to their doctor, now. I'm thankful. I think a lot of it is because they have more time. God is Love.
ramble, ramble...you know, Jesus Himself says something about how one must '...count the cost..' of following Him. One example He uses is...parents. Lose parents for Christ, get new parents in Christ. Of course, it doesn't always play out that way. Me? Well..it would appear I am a non-entity in society, my church people friend stopped talking to me, and my 1 remaining unbeliever friend seems most engaged in talking with me when she wants me to edit something or make her feel 'woke' or whatever, but...
in Christ, I went from being an 'over the hill flamer' headed for prison, maybe the state hospital....
to a "Schizophrenic gay dude with a high IQ," healthy and well provided for by my loving, long suffering, kind parents. I was never going to get a '2nd chance' at...well, much of anything, in and of the world...
but in Christ I have what I need + a tad extra, I have good health and...
forgiveness. definitely from Jesus, its looking more and more like forgiveness from my parents, too, just...
not what I expected, I suppose. LOL. i dunno. rambling, obviously.
please do keep my parents up in prayer. They've been burned by church people, big time. and...they know I'm a Christian, but I hardly think they'll listen to me on Christianity, etc. -shrug-
ok. thanks
yeah. i visited with them in the early afternoon, instead of going over for dinner. i needed a keyboard, because the letters on mine were sticking, etc. dad provided one he had, already, a spare I guess. no big deal.
i dunno. l try to think, now, how difficult it was for them...not just dealing with my hot mess, but before, the whole thing...getting married early 20s, doing grad school together, surprised by a baby, up the ladder in white collar jobs that, honestly, weren't all they were cut out to be till the last 15 years or so...well, mama's job...the pay got better, the colleagues got worse. ugh :-(
and now? i dunno, I mean...they both do volunteer work, in different positions, at a non-profit. mama's fully retired, dad's still going part time for now. i...cannot work. was i just some bright, precocious 'punk' who should never have gone to college? does it matter, now? anyway...
they're good to me. they...love me, and i love them as I should. I do wish they would come to know Jesus, truly and fully. then again...I only came to know Jesus because He made it happen, and just in the nick of time, too. they've had to work and do adult stuff, been burned by church people, and...??? in His timing, I hope and pray.
I dunno. -forgiveness- is key, here. 1st Jesus moved on my heart, so I cried out for God's forgiveness in Christ. Now, 8 years later, it does appear....we're close, and they don't seem to hold things against me, very much. i dunno. i love them, of course. and...
I don't think its all 'water under the bridge,' just yet. ever? maybe...one day? maybe...bit by bit, piece by piece, The Lord will work it out, so I can be...I dunno...forgiven, for who I was and what I did, pre-Jesus? its just...they're good people. oh, and they're both better about going to their doctor, now. I'm thankful. I think a lot of it is because they have more time. God is Love.
ramble, ramble...you know, Jesus Himself says something about how one must '...count the cost..' of following Him. One example He uses is...parents. Lose parents for Christ, get new parents in Christ. Of course, it doesn't always play out that way. Me? Well..it would appear I am a non-entity in society, my church people friend stopped talking to me, and my 1 remaining unbeliever friend seems most engaged in talking with me when she wants me to edit something or make her feel 'woke' or whatever, but...
in Christ, I went from being an 'over the hill flamer' headed for prison, maybe the state hospital....
to a "Schizophrenic gay dude with a high IQ," healthy and well provided for by my loving, long suffering, kind parents. I was never going to get a '2nd chance' at...well, much of anything, in and of the world...
but in Christ I have what I need + a tad extra, I have good health and...
forgiveness. definitely from Jesus, its looking more and more like forgiveness from my parents, too, just...
not what I expected, I suppose. LOL. i dunno. rambling, obviously.
please do keep my parents up in prayer. They've been burned by church people, big time. and...they know I'm a Christian, but I hardly think they'll listen to me on Christianity, etc. -shrug-
ok. thanks
