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Nothing More Than a Handshake Please

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I'm not a huggy type person, either--personal space and all that. (Plus I'm shy enough to avoid eye contact 90% of the time.) But if someone hugs me I usually hug back.
 
for_his_glory said:
I had this same problem with two men of the Church I use to attend. I am a hugging person, but they were more into my boobs touching them and would make remarks to me and I would just push them away and explain to them how wrong that was and when I did this they never said anything more to me. Sometimes you just have to be straight forward with people like this and set them in their place and let them know this is not pleasing to the Lord.
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I laughed out loud when I read this because I wanted to say what you said but didn't have the nerve! Thank you!!!
 
abide said:
Some time ago I met a couple from my church who became my friends.

One day at church the husband said, how are you and proceeded to hug me. When he hugged me I felt this stiffness in his groin.:shame I pulled away.:sad Since then I do not hug men. I believe a handshake is enough. I do not like a man hugging a woman and her breast rubbing on his stomach. Some might think I am paranoid, but I will not give men, whether they are Christians or not cheap thrills. Men should hug their wives in this fashion. Why would he have this stiffness (would not call it an erection) but it was very embarrassing to say the least.
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As a guy I would point out that in the morning and even during the day sometimes stiffness happens without it being sexual. I doubt he was on the way to church fantasizing or saw you dressed in church clothes and got excited about the idea of human contact when he has a wife. The only thing that seems odd to me was that your lower body was touching during the hug. I don't know, you could probably tell the difference as he touched you but if this was the only thing it could just have been because it was early.

I personally have never seen a normal hug as a chance for cheap thrills and I've never heard a guy brag he hugged a girl or mention it in a sexual way. I'd think you'd have to be very immature or extremely sexual to see it like that. Maybe you shouldn't give up on hugs.:shrug
 
I personally have never seen a normal hug as a chance for cheap thrills and I've never heard a guy brag he hugged a girl or mention it in a sexual way. I'd think you'd have to be very immature or extremely sexual to see it like that. Maybe you shouldn't give up on hugs.:shrug
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Try life as a good looking well built young woman and you find out. :wave
 
Gordon said:
As a guy I would point out that in the morning and even during the day sometimes stiffness happens without it being sexual. I doubt he was on the way to church fantasizing or saw you dressed in church clothes and got excited about the idea of human contact when he has a wife. The only thing that seems odd to me was that your lower body was touching during the hug. I don't know, you could probably tell the difference as he touched you but if this was the only thing it could just have been because it was early.

I personally have never seen a normal hug as a chance for cheap thrills and I've never heard a guy brag he hugged a girl or mention it in a sexual way. I'd think you'd have to be very immature or extremely sexual to see it like that. Maybe you shouldn't give up on hugs.:shrug
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Yeah mostly I agree with this. And what I am going to say is neither meant to downplay the looks of the OP nor give the man in question an excuse, but as male myself...not only are the morning hours tricky in this regard, but you have to realize, even if it was sexual does not mean that it was about you. Those things do not simply happen and go away on the spot. He very easily could have been thinking of his own wife and got a little excited and when he went to hug you, you felt what was "left." His stiffness of the groin and hugging you could be completely unrelated and that possibility seems to not even be acknowledged...or you're just completely convinced that he was seeking something sexual from the hug with you. That's unfair to the man...and also men in general (and this is not of utmost importance), but you are withholding hugs from men now because you believe that they may be seeking something they aren't....

Kind of an awkward topic I know, but it's the truth.
 
And considering you said "Would not call it an erection", if it was his "little gentleman" you felt it probably just means he's a little larger there than maybe some other guys. :shrug

No need to deny other people hugs just because of anatomical variations. :thumbsup
 
Let's keep this discussion decent, eh?

Some people are huggers and some aren't. Most people can read nonverbal cues and know when a hug isn't appreciated.

I dislike the hug that feels like an obligation. Like after I've worked with the same people every day, giving nothing more than a nod. Then we get together for a company party and everyone feels like they have to give hugs.

It's like that with church, too. Everyone's into smiles and talk until we're out at a church-related dress up event. Everyone's giving hugs! :shrug

Jethro, I'm with you. There's nothing like giving a woman a polite hand only to get it crushed by the lady's death grip. That's a bit emasculating. :gah
 
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Mike said:
Let's keep this discussion decent, eh?

Some people are huggers and some aren't. Most people can read nonverbal cues and know when a hug isn't appreciated.

I dislike the hug that feels like an obligation. Like after I've worked with the same people every day, giving nothing more than a nod. Then we get together for a company party and everyone feels like they have to give hugs.

It's like that with church, too. Everyone's into smiles and talk until we're out at a church-related dress up event. Everyone's giving hugs! :shrug

Jethro, I'm with you. There's nothing like giving a woman a polite hand only to get it crushed by the lady's death grip. That's a bit emasculating. :gah
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Well, I was trying to be discrete with my language.


I do find it strange that someone would stop hugging men simply out of the paranoid belief that all men are perverts looking for a cheap thrill. Hardly a healthy view of the opposite sex. Practically Puritan.
 
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abide said:
Some time ago I met a couple from my church who became my friends.

One day at church the husband said, how are you and proceeded to hug me. When he hugged me I felt this stiffness in his groin.:shame I pulled away.:sad Since then I do not hug men. I believe a handshake is enough. I do not like a man hugging a woman and her breast rubbing on his stomach. Some might think I am paranoid, but I will not give men, whether they are Christians or not cheap thrills. Men should hug their wives in this fashion. Why would he have this stiffness (would not call it an erection) but it was very embarrassing to say the least.
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Sister, I agree wholeheartedly with you. In Islam we are forbidden to touch women other than our families or spouses. This eliminates such experiences. You are also right to guard your modesty and if it is simply a handshake you desire than just reach your hand out before they reach in for a hug.
 
Mike said:
Most people can read nonverbal cues and know when a huge isn't appreciated.
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I confess, I'm a little amused by this, too.


Mike said:
Jethro, I'm with you. There's nothing like giving a woman a polite hand only to get it crushed by the lady's death grip. That's a bit emasculating. :gah
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I have a rule...don't date any woman who can bench press more than you...or, whose hand shake brings you to your knees. :yes


Shoveling any snow up there in Michigan yet? Wish I was there to help.
 
Jethro Bodine said:
I confess, I'm a little amused by this, too.



I have a rule...don't date any woman who can bench press more than you...or, whose hand shake brings you to your knees. :yes


Shoveling any snow up there in Michigan yet? Wish I was there to help.
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Now i'm thinking of the MAN HANDS episode of Seinfeld.
 
Daddy was a pastor... That can mean lots of hugs.... He would hug a lady shoulder to shoulder sorta from side to side.
 
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