Octomom" my babies disgust me

[Lewis]

Nadya Suleman: My babies disgust me

In an interview with In Touch magazine, Nadya Suleman reportedly makes some strong remarks about her 14 kids.
Suleman, who was labeled with the moniker "Octomom" after she gave birth to octuplets in 2009, told the publication, "I hate the babies, they disgust me."
She went on, "My older six are animals, getting more and more out of control, because I have no time to properly discipline them."

The single mom told the magazine that the only way she can cope is to lock herself in the bathroom and cry.
"Sometimes I sit there for hours and even eat my lunch sitting on the toilet floor. Anything to get peace and quiet," she said.
Suleman admits that her bank account is "overdrawn by $300 and I have no money to pay for the children's school, food or the mortgage." She's previously hosted a yard sale at her La Habra, California home to deal with financial hardship, and has reportedly signed on to be on the HDNet reality TV show Celebridate.
"Some days I have thought about killing myself. I cannot cope," Suleman tells In Touch. She says of her kids, "Obviously, I love them - but I absolutely wish I had not had them."
Nadya Suleman will appear on HLN's "Dr. Drew" on July 12.
CNN

 

[Lewis]

Wow I did not know that she had kids that old. I know that she is having a hard time with all of those kids. I remember when the whole country got on her case for having all of those kids. Because they said now America has to take care of them.

 

[th1b.taylor]

I know little about her or her children but it says that she is single in the OP and that alone tells me that she is not a good mother! But then she sayś that she ¨hates¨ her children? Of course she is in financial straights, she cannot possibly do any Employer justice with those kids and then she talks about going into the Bathroom to rant, cry and to eat? Great parenting skills?

 

[handy]

I cannot dredge up even the smallest bit, the tiniest mite of sympathy for this woman...I do feel very sorry for her kids and pray that God will somehow provide them with loving adults in their lives who can somehow make up for the abysmal lack of parenting they have....

As for her...I don't wish any harm to her, but I cannot sympathize with her at all.

 

[Rae]

She needs God. That's about all I can say. I don't think it's fair for us to judge her.

 

[handy]

You know Rae, maybe it isn't "fair"....but maybe common sense needs to be applied as well, maybe some discretion and some discernment can be brought to the idea that a single woman who has NO income and already has 6 children, who would voluntarily go in and purposely bring not one, or even two but EIGHT more children into a fatherless home doesn't have the proper mental faculties for being a capable parent.

If a woman is a single mom with a large brood because the father of her children walked out on her, that's one thing...that is a situation where we need to not make judgments, but assist in whatever way we can.

But, when a single mother of 6 children, gets in vitro fertilization treatments and makes the conscience decision to bring 8 more children into a home with no father or income....Yes, I'm making a judgment...I'm saying flat out that this kind of behavior is selfish and wrong and the children are going to suffer for it.

I agree she needs God, and she hasn't done anything unforgivable. But, she has done something bad, wrong, immoral, unfair, and indefensible. She needs God, yes....

Her children need Him even more.

 

[Rhea]

I feel very sympathetic to the children and also to the obviously-in-need-of-help mother. Yes she was stupid to continue to get IVF, but it seems to me that anyone who would do that in the first place (i.e. so many times) is not capable of making sound decisions. My real anger is at the doctor who treated her time and again so dangerously while she was obviously not capable of making a good decision. ANYONE who is unwilling to do selective reduction should NEVER have more than two embryos implanted, that is the common medical threshold of criminal negligence, and this doctor so far cro9ssed that line that he is criminal.

It seems as if it is the time for foster parents to step in and give those kids a chance, and then she can have a chance to heal.

 

[handy]

Oh, I agree wholly about the doctor...didn't he face some criminal investigations regarding this...can't remember.

As for foster care, I think they've been flooded with folks who are willing to adopt the children... But, she won't give them up and unless/until something bad happens the state won't step in. It's harder than you think to get parental rights terminated.

She's also created a situation where it truly is impossible to do what is "best" for the children. Had she given them up for adoption when they were first born, they could have bonded with their new families with little to no ill effects. But, now at 2 1/2 years later, it's far more problematic, especially for the older siblings who have bonded with their younger brothers and sisters.

Both of my children were separated from their siblings when they were put into foster care. We fought to adopt my daughter's siblings, but they separated them anyway. My son's sibs are older than him and were already adopted to a different home before he was born. Separating siblings sets a child up for life-long issues. With a lot of love, the kids can move forward in life, but nonetheless, it's a profound loss.

So, unless all 14 children are placed in the same home, they are going to suffer severe consequences.

 

[Riverwolf]

My real anger is at the doctor who treated her time and again so dangerously

Yes, well said,

The woman NEEDS attention, to be the one in the spotlight. I didn't look it up but I think she got a free house and free surgery after the fact to get her "figure" back. Along with free diapers, formula, etc... She was constantly in the news for awhile. She knows that if she gives up the kids then she would once again be nobody special. Which is what she is anyway to me.
I feel sorry for all of her children, not her.

 

[reba]

Why be angry at the doctor. A woman's reproductive rights are her choice. Her body her choice.

 

[Riverwolf]

Why be angry at the doctor. A woman's reproductive rights are her choice. Her body her choice.

Ok. But did not all the testing and procedures and follow up and so on cost money? Was it not apparent from the start that this woman had no money? If she can not get pregnant on her own how is it her choice and right to go this route? The average person can no longer afford a doctor for legitimate reasons. This man calls himself a doctor? He is a joke and a waste of medical school. There, rant over.

 

[reba]

Ok. But did not all the testing and procedures and follow up and so on cost money? Was it not apparent from the start that this woman had no money? If she can not get pregnant on her own how is it her choice and right to go this route? The average person can no longer afford a doctor for legitimate reasons. This man calls himself a doctor? He is a joke and a waste of medical school. There, rant over.

River maybe you didn't 'read' the sarcasm of my post...

THe "right" to kill the unborn belongs to the woman as in her choice then does it not stand to reason the right to have a zillion is also her choice?

I believe that woman saw the TV life of Kate plus Eight and thought she had a ticket to fame...

Personally what she has done is child abuse.

 

[handy]

Personally what she has done is child abuse.

Absolutely it's child abuse.

The doctor did get his license revoked, which is a good thing. "Unethical" doesn't even begin to describe him.

 

[Riverwolf]

I am so glad to see we are on the same pages here.
(reba & handy)
May you both have a great weekend!

 

[Pizzaguy]

I am so glad to see we are on the same pages here.
(reba & handy)
May you both have a great weekend!

Ditto that! I've missed your posts, ladies.

(Not address YOU with that "Ladies" thing... Riverwolf )

 

[Lewis]

I feel for her though Dora, the reason ? It is because something is wrong with her. In her twisted thinking or mind, this was the right thing to do. When I saw her on doctor Phill, I could see that she is very, very smart, but she is also twisted.

 

[Rhea]

Why be angry at the doctor. A woman's reproductive rights are her choice. Her body her choice.

That's exactly why I *am* angry at the doctor.

If she were getting pregnant on her own again and again, her body, her choice. Not one that I think is rational or sound, but her getting pregnant by natural makes it her choice not anyone else's. It has a self-limiting feature wherein people who are clearly not capable of a rational decision cannot get too far before they realize the folly of their path. In other words, with smaller numbers of fetuses per pregnancy, she would know she is overwhelmed long before 14.

The doctor, on the other hand could see pretty obviously from her actions that she was not making informed decisions, and he was treating her in a way that the rest of the medical community (as well as almost all lay people) could predict would be detrimental to all involved. To perform medical procedures on someone who was clearly not competent to approve medical procedures is wrong and that's what makes me angry about his actions and not hers.

I suppose in a way they are both guilty of the same thing - a self-serving desire to be extreme and famous for it. But he is the one with a medical degree who has the training and the very clear medical guidelines to define his actions as wrong.

 

[handy]

I feel for her though Dora, the reason ? It is because something is wrong with her. In her twisted thinking or mind, this was the right thing to do. When I saw her on doctor Phill, I could see that she is very, very smart, but she is also twisted.

Lewis, I was sexually molested as a little girl. The abuser was known by many to be "very, very smart". He was also very charming, had loads of people who would swear on a stack of Bibles that he was the nicest guy you'd ever know.

But, he also was "twisted". He used me, then a 6 year old girl, for sexual gratification.

Do you feel sorry for him as well?

Probably not.

These kids are being abused in a very profound way, just as profound as sexual abuse in my thinking. Just as my abuser used me for his own twisted gratification, these kids' mother are using them for hers.

It doesn't surprise me that this is coming out now as the kids are getting older. I had her pegged right away as a type of woman I've come across about 4 times now in my life...the kind of woman who (contrary to what she's told the media) doesn't want to be a mother...she just wants babies. These women think of babies as kinds of living dolls. They love the kind of total dependency that a baby has. Once the baby starts to grow up and needs mom less for basic life needs, they lose interest.

Both of my kids were with foster mothers like this. My daughter's foster mother was like this for many years. (For the record, I've known them very well for years) She wanted a large family, but they only had three. Her husband didn't want her getting pregnant after that, because her health took a hit with the third. So, they adopted several more kids...then when her husband refused to adopt any more, she talked him into fostering kids, and she's specified that they would like to foster babies. She has been caring for babies, in one capacity or another now, for close to 30 years. Once her kids got older than about 3....she showed very little love or affection to them. All five of her kids are adults now, and they all struggle with the effects of her special type of neglect.

Thomas' foster mother was the same way...she just wanted to care for the babies. She kept Thomas infantilized while he was under her care...he was 3 and 1/2 years old when we adopted him and he hadn't been taught how to talk, use forks or knives, how to dress himself, how to use the toilet...we thought he was mentally retarded when we went to pick him up. He wasn't, he's smart as a whip. He simply wasn't taught.

When women who are like this foster babies...it's a good thing. But, they need to have the babies move on once they get past two or so, or else the mother will start to neglect them. Fortunately for the kids of my daughter's foster mom, they have a loving dad who could fill the gaps somewhat...and most of the foster kids in my son's previous homes did move on after age two.

But, these poor Suleman kids don't have a dad and her parents have drawn way back from her because of this. They're stuck with a mother who will most likely grow more and more distant from them, especially as they get more independent. It's sad, but I don't think there's a blessed thing that can be done about it.

Rhea, I think she was overwhelmed with the first 6. You said, "I suppose in a way they are both guilty of the same thing - a self-serving desire to be extreme and famous for it. But he is the one with a medical degree who has the training and the very clear medical guidelines to define his actions as wrong."

I agree, I truly do.

Yet, she is the one with the kids who are in no way getting the love, care and nurturing that is needed to produce a healthy adult. He just lost his license. The kid's are suffering from her self-serving desire on an ongoing basis.

 

[th1b.taylor]

Why be angry at the doctor. A woman's reproductive rights are her choice. Her body her choice.

reba, that is so not true! It is politically true but so not Godly truth.

 

[Lewis]

I hear ya Dora.

Do you feel sorry for him as well?

Probably not.

No I would not, and I don't like him, and I don't know him, and would punch him in his face if he was around me.

But like I was saying this girl is crazy, and I don't think that she can help it.