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"Pizza's Ongoing Life Thread"?
- Thread starter Pizzaguy
- Start date
Pizzaguy
Member
I am on vacation in Northern Michigan. I've driven 1600 miles since leaving home last week. Tomorrow, I start the 1100 mile trip home, arriving home on Sunday (not gonnna be LONG days, got a lot to do/see on the way home).
Anywya, Mom and Dad died in 1996/97. I laid their ashes to rest today, in a remote part of a National Forest where we once camped for 28 days in the 1960s when my dad had a heart attack at work. The doctor told him to take a MONTH off, so we camped in a tent for 28 days in what was THEN a state campground.
The camp is closed these days, just a remote clearing in the woods by a huge river. I had to rent a truck to get in there, since my little car could not make it.
I laid them to rest under a tree a few feet from what photos show as the campsite from those days, when I was 6, 47 years ago. (Don't kneed a photo, I remember the spot.)
Later, in the 1970's and ealry '80's, they bought a cabin about a mile from the camp site and dad lived up there for a few years - mom went to visit him on weekends.
When her health declined, they sold it, in 1989.
So, the area is very special to me, and was to them. Now, what little is left of their human bodies rests together a few hundred feet from the campsite and a mile from the cabin's location.
The cabin is gone, the land is part of the neighbor's yard.
But where they rest is still remote wilderness, owned by the state.
I was very surprised at how hard it was to leave "them" there... even tho I know it was the only place for them. (Mom and Dad gave me no instructions, just that they wanted to be cremated.)
I will go by the site (I now realize I can hike in a mile, had to drive almost 5 miles in today, but I realized when I got back there that I can hike in a mile from another road that still exists).
Anyway, I'll go back tomorow and visit the site - not sure why, I guess to just see that the ashes are really still there..... ? And to take one more look around, who knows hwen I'll ever be back here - I live 760 + 155 miles away - 815 miles.
I feel strange. I did not expect this - did not think I'd feel anything after so many years. It is probably good that I DO fell something...
Anywya, Mom and Dad died in 1996/97. I laid their ashes to rest today, in a remote part of a National Forest where we once camped for 28 days in the 1960s when my dad had a heart attack at work. The doctor told him to take a MONTH off, so we camped in a tent for 28 days in what was THEN a state campground.
The camp is closed these days, just a remote clearing in the woods by a huge river. I had to rent a truck to get in there, since my little car could not make it.
I laid them to rest under a tree a few feet from what photos show as the campsite from those days, when I was 6, 47 years ago. (Don't kneed a photo, I remember the spot.)
Later, in the 1970's and ealry '80's, they bought a cabin about a mile from the camp site and dad lived up there for a few years - mom went to visit him on weekends.
When her health declined, they sold it, in 1989.
So, the area is very special to me, and was to them. Now, what little is left of their human bodies rests together a few hundred feet from the campsite and a mile from the cabin's location.
The cabin is gone, the land is part of the neighbor's yard.
But where they rest is still remote wilderness, owned by the state.
I was very surprised at how hard it was to leave "them" there... even tho I know it was the only place for them. (Mom and Dad gave me no instructions, just that they wanted to be cremated.)
I will go by the site (I now realize I can hike in a mile, had to drive almost 5 miles in today, but I realized when I got back there that I can hike in a mile from another road that still exists).
Anyway, I'll go back tomorow and visit the site - not sure why, I guess to just see that the ashes are really still there..... ? And to take one more look around, who knows hwen I'll ever be back here - I live 760 + 155 miles away - 815 miles.
I feel strange. I did not expect this - did not think I'd feel anything after so many years. It is probably good that I DO fell something...
Pizzaguy
Member
It was. I walked in todya, leaving my little car on a dead-end road. Turns out, had I thought it thru, renting the truck was not necessary.
I stood there and thought about the past.. thought of all the good memories. Thought about how different the area is, how the place seems forgotten. Thought about the talks dad and I had when I'd go up there on the weekends.
Thought about the fact that I may never go back there, and if I do, I have no idea when ...
I feel better now, I am in my hometown, about 155 miles south of there. By Sunday, I'll be about 750 miles MORE to the south, near Atlanta - my current home.
It rained on the ashes last night. They have already started to assimilate into the sandy soil...
I stood there and thought about the past.. thought of all the good memories. Thought about how different the area is, how the place seems forgotten. Thought about the talks dad and I had when I'd go up there on the weekends.
Thought about the fact that I may never go back there, and if I do, I have no idea when ...
I feel better now, I am in my hometown, about 155 miles south of there. By Sunday, I'll be about 750 miles MORE to the south, near Atlanta - my current home.
It rained on the ashes last night. They have already started to assimilate into the sandy soil...
Pizzaguy
Member
Haven't been able to get motivated this weekend, then thought - "You PROMISED yourself you'd work on your cardio training"... so, I ended up hiking in the North GA mountains. Had a little Snafu, my three hour hike turned into 5 1/2 hours - GPS says I walked 17 miles, but that cant be right. My count is 12-13 miles.
I'm tired, filthy, and greasy from sun block - but I bet I sleep tonight.
I ended up lost and not in the spiritual sense, either! This never happens to me!
My GPS let me down, not sure what happened to it but I suddenly could not lock and this was while I was doing one of my off-trail hikes in a national forest! I walked and walked generally north (with the sun in the western sky, I at least knew what North was). I finally, after I dont know how long, sat down and prayed:
"Ok, Lord, I am not the hiker I think I am. Or, at least, Im not the NAVIGATOR I think I am. Send me a sign of what direction to go, 'cause the road should be here somewhere."
Id not heard any traffic sounds, I wondred if the road was way above me or way below me on the other side of the ridge. I thought I was within 200 feet of it or so.
Well, as soon as I prayed, I heard the first sound in about 20 minutes, a Harley suddenly made his loud noise as he went down the road. I listened, and could tell where the road was, as his sound moved to the compass heading I was walking, he went silent - must be a big hill there.
Well, anyway, I knew then I was within 1000 feet of the road. Turns out, I was about 500 feet from it - I was there in 15 minutes - had to go thru a terrible think underbrush patch, but I got there! From there, it was almost two miles back to the car.
It wasn't so muhc that I prayed, I think it was that I layed it in His lap and confessed my inability - or at least my doubt in myself.
I'm tired, filthy, and greasy from sun block - but I bet I sleep tonight.
I ended up lost and not in the spiritual sense, either! This never happens to me!
My GPS let me down, not sure what happened to it but I suddenly could not lock and this was while I was doing one of my off-trail hikes in a national forest! I walked and walked generally north (with the sun in the western sky, I at least knew what North was). I finally, after I dont know how long, sat down and prayed:
"Ok, Lord, I am not the hiker I think I am. Or, at least, Im not the NAVIGATOR I think I am. Send me a sign of what direction to go, 'cause the road should be here somewhere."
Id not heard any traffic sounds, I wondred if the road was way above me or way below me on the other side of the ridge. I thought I was within 200 feet of it or so.
Well, as soon as I prayed, I heard the first sound in about 20 minutes, a Harley suddenly made his loud noise as he went down the road. I listened, and could tell where the road was, as his sound moved to the compass heading I was walking, he went silent - must be a big hill there.
Well, anyway, I knew then I was within 1000 feet of the road. Turns out, I was about 500 feet from it - I was there in 15 minutes - had to go thru a terrible think underbrush patch, but I got there! From there, it was almost two miles back to the car.
It wasn't so muhc that I prayed, I think it was that I layed it in His lap and confessed my inability - or at least my doubt in myself.
Pizzaguy
Member
Sometimes I think this thread gets ignored 'cause there is nothing spiritual in it. Today, that changed.
Problem is, I promised God I'd NEVER go off trail if He got me out of this! I could not understand the SILENCE, no noise from the traffic - turned out it was the terrain, of course.
But anyway, the SECOND I prayed, and said, "Give me a sign of where to go..." I heard that Harley.
I sure did thank Him, and I did so again when I saw the road.
But I KNOW the next time Im on the trail - I'm gonna wanna go cross-country!
Problem is, I promised God I'd NEVER go off trail if He got me out of this! I could not understand the SILENCE, no noise from the traffic - turned out it was the terrain, of course.
But anyway, the SECOND I prayed, and said, "Give me a sign of where to go..." I heard that Harley.
I sure did thank Him, and I did so again when I saw the road.
But I KNOW the next time Im on the trail - I'm gonna wanna go cross-country!
Pizzaguy
Member
I have laxed badly in my exercise over the past 1 1/2 years, since moving and taking this job.
Back in May, I started on a program of exercise - and I'm doing better. I've walked a total of 10 hours these past 7 days. Been doing this for awhile, and am seeing the cardio benefit (I test myself by briskly walking up two flights of stairs in the motels I stay in, two months ago, I was winded after one flight.
Last week, I did two flights iwth only a slight increase in breath... I'm way better. When I get to being able to RUN two flights without much breath, I'll be back to where I was. I will be 54 my next birthday, gotta to take care of myself as I have a bad heart valve. Doc says to stay VERY active!
Back in May, I started on a program of exercise - and I'm doing better. I've walked a total of 10 hours these past 7 days. Been doing this for awhile, and am seeing the cardio benefit (I test myself by briskly walking up two flights of stairs in the motels I stay in, two months ago, I was winded after one flight.
Last week, I did two flights iwth only a slight increase in breath... I'm way better. When I get to being able to RUN two flights without much breath, I'll be back to where I was. I will be 54 my next birthday, gotta to take care of myself as I have a bad heart valve. Doc says to stay VERY active!
Pizzaguy
Member
4 1/2 weeks to the Dragon... We should have 50 or more Crossfires and about 75 Genesis Coupes.
It's a short, four day weekend, but it's the best vacation ever.
I wonder if there will be any over-60-year-old bikers to play with like before.... ?
[video=youtube;OzdB-g4Tk6Q]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzdB-g4Tk6Q[/video]
Those guys were not easy to keep up with...
It's a short, four day weekend, but it's the best vacation ever.
I wonder if there will be any over-60-year-old bikers to play with like before.... ?
[video=youtube;OzdB-g4Tk6Q]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzdB-g4Tk6Q[/video]
Those guys were not easy to keep up with...
DeaneRenata
Member
unno
Pizzaguy
Member
Posts 166 to 169 are the only redeeming value of this thread! ;)
The rest is just bits of me, like this:
[video=youtube;Hnd2y89ITf8]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hnd2y89ITf8[/video]
Pizzaguy
Member
Things for my sister are just plain bad. Her physical condition is worse, and she's having a hard time with, well, just existing in the group home.
It's just an awful end to a life.
Next week is my Dragon get together - most fun time of the year for me - it's hard to go into that knowing how awful things are for Deb.
Life is good - for some of us.
It's just an awful end to a life.
Next week is my Dragon get together - most fun time of the year for me - it's hard to go into that knowing how awful things are for Deb.
Life is good - for some of us.
Hebrews 7.25
Pizzaguy
Member
It is so hard to see someone live with no happiness, only struggle and despair.
She can barely feed herself anymore, she can't do much of ANYTHING without an underpaid and over worked home employee helping her (and I mean EVERYTHING, think of all you do in a day - then think of needing help to do it all.) The idea of privacy is gone for her. The idea of choice - when will I go to bed? When will I get up? When will I eat? WHAT will I eat? NONE of this is up to her anymore, except for the once a week I can (and do) go over there, I will often stop and get her what she wants for lunch.
ANY idea I had of letting her live with me is gone - OH, but would that have been a mistake - when she asked about 2 1/2 years ago.
It is SO hard to talk to her on the phone each evening - she has nothing to talk about, and is constantly stressed, sad, depressed.
It is a horrible way for a life to end - as her body goes down hill, if she lives long enough, she will lay in bed fully conscious but unable to move. It is conceivable that she will loose the ability to even blink if she lives long enough. I see it as senseless suffering. While I still like talking to my sister (and will be really kinda alone after she is gone) it is sickening to watch this.
How could there be a condition like this?
Adam and Eve REALLY messed it up for us.
She can barely feed herself anymore, she can't do much of ANYTHING without an underpaid and over worked home employee helping her (and I mean EVERYTHING, think of all you do in a day - then think of needing help to do it all.) The idea of privacy is gone for her. The idea of choice - when will I go to bed? When will I get up? When will I eat? WHAT will I eat? NONE of this is up to her anymore, except for the once a week I can (and do) go over there, I will often stop and get her what she wants for lunch.
ANY idea I had of letting her live with me is gone - OH, but would that have been a mistake - when she asked about 2 1/2 years ago.
It is SO hard to talk to her on the phone each evening - she has nothing to talk about, and is constantly stressed, sad, depressed.
It is a horrible way for a life to end - as her body goes down hill, if she lives long enough, she will lay in bed fully conscious but unable to move. It is conceivable that she will loose the ability to even blink if she lives long enough. I see it as senseless suffering. While I still like talking to my sister (and will be really kinda alone after she is gone) it is sickening to watch this.
How could there be a condition like this?
Adam and Eve REALLY messed it up for us.
Pizzaguy
Member
Every time I hear someone say, 'Don't worry, be happy' or "Life is good" or "Hey, smile, it's not that bad" - I want to tell THEM to to say that to my sister.
People are SO arrogant and ignorant - they have NO IDEA how awful this life is for some of us. (Talking about my sister, not me.)
People are SO arrogant and ignorant - they have NO IDEA how awful this life is for some of us. (Talking about my sister, not me.)
Pizzaguy
Member
And, my Nuclear project is going well. I'll be in Michigan most of December and proably part of January... but that works out 'cause my kids from Japan are gonna be home in Michigan for Thanksgiving. 
So, I buy a one-way ticket on a plane to Detroit and the company flies me home after the first week or two of work!
So, I buy a one-way ticket on a plane to Detroit and the company flies me home after the first week or two of work!