Godinme, you said regarding becoming the first guy's girlfriend "That was the worst thing I could have ever done because I never got to know him as a friend!"
I think this is the key. To get to know others as friends. It's not necessarily a bad thing to move into a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship quickly, as long as both of you realize that you need to build a friendship even as you are building a relationship. But, too often, especially today (although it was pretty much the same 30 years ago when I was college age) people feel pressured to move into an intimate relationship, including physical intimacy, even sex and then they do not follow the principles God laid out for us.
You know, I'm not necessarily convinced about the whole "God is supposed to write my love story" bit. I believe that we have free will on this earth in just about everything except our ability to be saved (only Christ can save us.) I don't think that God is up in heaven saying "Godinme can marry Joe and only Joe and nobody else but Joe and if she does marry someone other than Joe, she's out of My will."
In the Bible, we are given basic principles we must apply to our relationships. As godly women, we need to realize that we will be in submission to our husband, so we need to seek godly men, men who will be able to take on the spiritual reign of the household, who will be a good provider and a good father to our children. We do need to be sexually attracted to the man, because that will be an important part of our marriage, but we also need to remain sexually pure until marriage, so we need to seek out men who maintain their own sexual purity and don't put pressure on women to have sex outside of marriage. We need to seek out men that we can be in agreement with, or are willing to follow, so that we do not become tempted to try to rule over our husbands.
It would be impossible to learn whether or not a man is someone that we can submit to these principles under, unless we get to know him as a person and as a friend.
This is why friendship is really a good thing. By being friends with a guy and considering him as a friend, it becomes easier to get to know him and know what kind of guy he is while your emotions aren't completely engaged. However, as a woman, I also know how hard it is for the emotions to NOT become engaged when a guy is seeking you out. One of the things we women need to learn is how to master our emotions when it comes to guys and think with our heads, even when our hearts are doing back-flips.
Right now, you are considering two different men: your ex-boyfriend and the new guy. As a Christian woman, you want to consider which of these two men bolster your walk with God. Which of these two men would be the kind of man you can submit to? Which of these two men would be a good provider, a good father, a godly head of a household? Which of these two men are you the more attracted to?
It could very well be that neither guy is right for you at this point in time and you simply need to learn what it is about each one that isn't right, so that you know what to look for later. It could be that either man would make an excellent husband and you are simply not ready for marriage yet. Frankly, it doesn't sound as if you are really in love with either one.
This is why I think that it's best to jettison the idea of dating and boyfriend/girlfriend relationships completely and return to the idea of courting. Courting would mean to be just friends and hang out in group situations until there comes one that you truly believe you would be interested in marrying and he desires marriage with you. Then, have him get to know your family and your friends and you get to know him and his, all with the idea of marriage in mind. In courting situations, it's not just the man and woman (who are probably being clouded by emotion and physical tensions) making observations and learning about the other, but loved ones who have your best interests at heart also being part of things. It can make for a much stronger marriage.
But, don't let anyone dis marriage to you. Marriage is God's norm for mankind, it was God Who instituted marriage in the first place. When the disciples said that it was better not to marry, Jesus replied, “All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given." This is found in Matthew 19:11. There is no spiritual superiority in not marrying, nor is there spiritual superiority in marrying. If you decide to remain single and chaste because you feel it is what God has called you to, then walk fulfilled in singleness. If you don't feel that God is calling you to be single forever, then by all means, seek a godly man to marry. God by no means gives all of us the ability to remain single.
i know it gets rough sometimes, but im willing to work it out with my church camp buddy/boyfriend 
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