Ruined my salvation

[Paulus]

Hi all,

My name is Paul and I am new to this site.

I'm in a very sad predicament. I have ruined my relationship with God and lost my salvation. I believe that I have crossed the line and sinned unto death. Many years ago I was a born-again believer from the age of 17 after calling out to God for salvation. He led me to Jesus who I fell in love with and accepted as my savior, from there I attended Church and was baptized receiving the Holy Spirit. I was a totally transformed man and was growing spiritually. I spoke openly about Jesus to people as I wanted to share this wonderful gift with them, but unfortunately I was persecuted by family & friends alike. I was openly mocked, laughed at and even threatened. This broke my heart that they would not accept my Christianity. Anyway as time progressed I had other problems which caused me to crack and felt I wasn't a good enough Christian. I started smoking marijuana again while in despair which was the biggest mistake I have ever made as I became addicted over time and it totally messed me up in the head. I became a horrible person. I ended falling back into a ungodly lifestyle which I don't want to get into because I feel ashamed of myself. I continued down this path unrepentant, because I was a stubborn fool and I came to like my sinful lifestyle. In the end life/God caught up with me and I fell sick with a very debilitating illness which left me bedridden for many years. I'm recovering now, but during my illness I have looked over my life and am not proud of what I have done. I can't believe I have acted so selfishly. I wish I didn't leave the Lord. If I trusted him I would of had a great life! I have prayed and prayed to him for mercy, but I do feel like I have sinned to long and have killed my faith and that his spirit has left me and now I'm all alone in this world with no love. Many of you out there probably thing I wasn't a Christian to begin with, but I was and now because of my willful & continuous sin I'm now an apostate which makes my stomach churn. I never wanted to end up like this, I should have repented when I had the opportunity.

I don't know why I'm here perhaps I looking for a glimmer of hope, but it also a good warning to Christians to remain alert, keep close to the Lord at all times and pray always least you end up like me.

Yours truly,

Paul.

 

[Adullam]

Thank you for your testimony Paul. Welcome here! I would say that there are many in your predicament. Discipleship is basically non-exitent in our day. Get 'em saved! they say! But there are so many that get lost after the initial phase. Then it is said, ah! they were never Christians. Very sad indeed!

God disciplines those whom He loves. Many cannot understand the temptations that follow their conversion. But we are to die in ourselves in order to fully live for Christ. We brothers are there to help encourage those in this process. We have all gone through it, or are going through it! The training of God is hard...but the fruit it yields is an eternal weight in glory! God knows what He is doing! Sadly, many of us do not!

Paul, just hate the sin... not yourself, and pick up where you left off and be ready for anything. Betray your own selfish cause to the Lord. I see you have begun to do this !

Maran atha~

 

[Sparkey]

You, sir, are convicted out of your own mouth. By your very admission you are found guilty and have fallen short of the glory that your Holy God wanted for you. But why should I pretend that this isn't the exact same for me? It is. Where lies my hope of salvation?

Do you not know that God knew you, knew of you -- on the day that you were called unto Him? Know that He saw this very day and has worked in all things for your good throughout your life. Paul? I'm just an old man and my compassion is nothing compared to that of your Father in Heaven but I'm touched by what you have said. My mind quickly goes to the thief who died with our Christ. He asked the one that mocked, "Have you no fear of God?"

One of the criminals who were hanged there was hurling abuse at Him, saying, "Are You not the Christ? Save Yourself and us!" But the other answered, and rebuking him said, "Do you not even fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? "And we indeed are suffering justly, for we are receiving what we deserve for our deeds; but this man has done nothing wrong." And he was saying, "Jesus, remember me when You come in Your kingdom!" And He said to him, "Truly I say to you, today you shall be with Me in Paradise."

I too am under the same sentence of condemnation as the three who hung on their crosses. If God has said that we can not be tempted beyond our endurance (and He has) and if God does not lie (and He is not a man that He should lie) -- we know that He will make a way out for us. He has made a way. It is your GodTrust and belief in our Christ, that God has made Him Lord of all and the fact that Jesus confesses your very name to your Father in heaven as well as your testimony, your confession of faith in Him that proves to me that you too have the right to become a Son of God.

Can you ruin your salvation? Well, yes. Is it too late? No. Take your life-lessons along with your hard earned wisdom with you as you reclaim what has been stolen, depart from sin and receive what the Lord has prepared for you -- an entrance to heaven, administered by angels and purchased by a price beyond any compare. Has the Spirit of God left you? We know that except that the Spirit of God is with us we can not so much as say, "God is good," and further know and trust that the One who said, "I will never leave you," has not lied.

By your very life you have had the truth written directly into your heart -- that is it not by works that we are saved and I believe that this truth was written there by the hand of God. This is something that you have for always and it can not be taken from you. The free gift of salvation is yours today just the same as it was on the day you were called out of sin. When you say that you are not worthy so much as to lift your eyes to heaven, what our Father hears is a broken and contrite heart -- and this, in no wise will He turn from nor despise.

I imagine that if God were to give me something to say to you it would be, "Arise, my son and walk."

 

[INHISHANDS55]

Backsliding is forgivable. At least that is what I was taught. Satan may be trying to decieve you into believing you have lost your salvation. Rebuke satan . Repent on your knees telling God you are sorry and trully mean it. work to come back from the bad place. You are washed in the Blood of Jesus. ask him to forgive you. rededicate your life to him. As long as there is breath in your body it is not too late to be forgiven.After my heart problem God so filled me with the Holy Ghost I couldn't shut up if I wanted to.

 

[INHISHANDS55]

I tried to post this earlier but I'm not sure if I did it right. It isn't too late. You are washed in the Blood of Jesus. As long as there is breath in your body it is is not too late. Might I suggest a new baptism? This would help you to feel redeemed. A new confession of faith might help as well.

 

[Paulus]

Thank you all so much for your wonderful and encouraging responses. What you have written has given me hope and lifted my spirits a little that even a Christian who has fallen so far as me may have a change to be restored, that maybe I haven't crossed that line of unforgiveness. I won't give up and I will continue to seek his mercy. Pray for me!

Paul.

 

[Mar]

Paul, I went through something similar when I was young. I was shunned by family and friends for my new faith when I was a pre-teen. I was soon molested by a family member while I was talking on the phone with another Christian, and talking about the Lord. Later, many bad things happened and I got into a lot of substance abuse in my teens and later at college had bad ungodly relationships, even going with a person who was hostile to the Cross, but I did not realize how much. I felt, too, that I had ruined my salvation, but I think when the Apostle Paul says In Hebrews 6:4,5,6
" It is impossible for those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit, 5 who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the coming age 6 and who have fallen[a] away, to be brought back to repentance. To their loss they are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting him to public disgrace." that it is clear that those persons WILL NOT seek repentance. The fact is that you ARE seeking repentance as I was. Therefore I do not think you have ruined your salvation. Further, David says to the Lord, after he had sinned, "Create in me a clean heart. O God. And renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence O Lord and take not Thy Holy Spirit from me. Restore unto me the Joy of YOUR salvation and renew a right spirit within me." Why is David saying this? He is saying this because Salvation is of the Lord. If it were impossible to restore salvation, then Why is David praying to the Lord to have his salvation restored? It is because you CAN be re-united with the Lord. You have a broken heart and a contrite spirit which the Lord wants. You are not walking around all prideful saying "I don't need repentance. I am fine the way I am." Don't let the Enemy discourage you. Satan is the accuser of the brethren and he is always there to tell you what you are not doing right. God bless you!

 

[G. White]

A Parable:

A certain man had two sons and the younger of them said to his father, "Father, give me the portion of goods that falls to me."

So he divided to them his livelihood and not many days after, the younger son gathered all together, journeyed to a far country and there wasted his possessions with prodigal living, but when he had spent all, there arose a severe famine in that land and he began to be in want. Then he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country and he sent him into his fields to feed swine and he would gladly have filled his stomach with the pods that the swine ate and no one gave him anything.

But when he came to himself, he said, "How many of my father’s hired servants have bread enough to spare and I perish with hunger?! I will arise and go to my father and will say to him, Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants.â€

And he arose and came to his father, but when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him and the son said to him, "Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight and am no longer worthy to be called your son."

But the father said to his servants, "Bring out the best robe and put it on him and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet and bring the fattened calf here and kill it and let us eat and be merry; for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found." And they began to be merry.

- Luke 15:11-32 from parables of Jesus Christ.net

There is more to read. I only provided part of the story from 11-24.

We all stumble from time to time; we are fallible in our ways. But repentance for our sins is powerful. I believe it restores the soul and reinforces our relationship with God.

 

[Drummer4Christ]

Brother Paul,


Truly the Lord's Spirit is working through you as a result of your repentance, for I'm sure many here (especially myself) needed to read your testimony! I too have sinned against God in ways I am ashamed of, even after being "saved". Our spirit is willing but our flesh is weak. The closer we get to God the closer Satan gets to us. We do what we do not want to do and do not do what we want to do. I will pray for you, Paul. Pray for me as well! For I struggle with my sinful nature, I struggle to deny myself and to take up my cross and to give up everything to follow our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ, the sacrificial Lamb of God whose blood was shed so our sins may be forgiven. You seek repentance, to make straight paths for the Lord. I know that you cry out to Him so that He may reside in you as the Father resides in Him, for I cry out to Him in the same way!

We are lost sheep, we are prodigal sons but, God has called us back to Him! All praise and glory to the Almighty God who is merciful and forgives us our sins!

Do not despair, Paul. For whererever two or three are gathered, He is there. Take heart, the Lord is with us!

A fellow sinner,
Nick

 

[Buzzy]

Amen G White, the parable of the son is perfect and gives us all hope for God's love and the salvation of Jesus Christ no matter how far we stray.

Paul, it is never too late to repent and ask for God's mercy. He will give it.

 

[Danus]

Hi all,

My name is Paul and I am new to this site.

I'm in a very sad predicament. I have ruined my relationship with God and lost my salvation..............

Paul brother, I thank God that he is a God of 2nd, 3rd, 4th....and so on chances. You've not lost your salvation, just pick it up.

Picture your salvation as your wallet. You dropped it. God picked it back up to hand it to you, and you run away. He does not keep it. He runs after you yelling; "Hey You dropped this!" yet you keep running. He's just chasing your down, and now that he has caught you, and perhaps made it so you can't run as fast why don't you just pick it back up and come on? He's laid it right there for you to take it. ;) We don't get away from God so easily. Just look back over what you've been through. Your not so powerful that he can't take you over his knee when he has to, and you never will be. You can thank him for that.

 

[defender2]

Thank you all so much for your wonderful and encouraging responses. What you have written has given me hope and lifted my spirits a little that even a Christian who has fallen so far as me may have a change to be restored, that maybe I haven't crossed that line of unforgiveness. I won't give up and I will continue to seek his mercy. Pray for me!

Paul.

Paul, I have fallen away too, many times. But just learn this simple biblical principle: "Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy." (Matthew 5:7)

 

[mcmurry]

John 10: 25-30-But you do not believe, because you are not among my sheep. My sheep hear my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish. No one can take them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one can take them out of the Father´s hand. The Father and I are one." If you were a believer before, then you still are. No one is perfect, we all make mistakes. Just do your best to not sin again. You will of course. But just keep trying. Good Luck.

 

[michaelwriting]

First of all, might I say this...you are being way too hard on yourself. God is not that hard on you. He is gentle, loving, kind, full of mercy...even to those who are recklessly opposed to him. But he is a correcting God. Unfortunately, we condemn ourselves more than God does. Jesus said "I came not to destroy men's lives, but to save them". I'm thinking that maybe you don't believe that God is as loving and kind to us, even when we find ourselves so inadequate. But he is.

It is simple faith...a relationship with a God who can save us. He knows that we are sinful creatures and he still decided to reach out to us, just as we are. He doesn't expect us to be perfect because we cannot be. We are not God. Only he is perfect. But when we turn over the reality of our weakness and powerlessness over to God, and be honest about how we cannot change on our own, then God can begin to work.

I spent a lot of years TRYING way too hard. I have since learned three principles...these coincide with the first three principles of the 12-step programs.

1. I can't
2. God can
3. I will let Him

When I accept that I am powerless to be anything other than the person that I am, and I acknowledge that God is the loving God that he is...I can choose to surrender to him and let HIM change my life. It is not about me trying harder, being better, or overcoming. It is a process of me turning over my life to Christ, becoming sensitive to what he is doing in my life, and allowing him to change me bit by bit over time.

In the process, God is very patient. He leads us and obviously we fall due to our own weakness. We don't have to get perfect before we come to God. We come to God just as we are...he is the one who cleans us up and fixes us as we turn over our lives and our will over to his care and control. I don't have the power to 'fix myself'...if I did, I wouldn't need Christ. But I cling to him more deeply because he is the only one who can fix me...it is not by my works or my righteousness. It is by admitting where I am at and asking God to take me where he wants me to be, and then surrendering to the process.

He is more willing to help you than you realize. God be with you my friend. Love ya

 

[daydreaming]

I'm confused...I've read your post and I still don't know what you've done of which you think God cannot forgive you.

Sometimes I wonder what people think Christ died for. If you feel that you've done things that you need to be forgiven for, then repent to God and ask forgiveness from those you transgressed, actually change your ways and continue following Christ and don't forget to study your Scriptures...