So, this bum tries to beg off of me at Walmart today

[Riverwolf]

Thought the title would get your attention.

I have a permit and sometimes carry a small firearm. Most times I have a fast reach/open knife on me. Not today. Today I am on my way home from the doctor with clean clothes, new nikes, clean shaven, hair pulled back neatly in a ponytail. I'm leaving Walmart, feet from my truck parked in a far corner. I notice this guy coming maybe 25 feet away. Long hair, short unruly beard, dirty clothes. AND he had both hands poked inside the front of a zippered type sweatshirt. And he says "could you spare some money for dinner?" And I tell him no, not today.
No, he did not attack me. That was the end.
So, why am I posting this?
It bothered me all the way home and for most of the evening.
All the threads on here about helping others, good deeds, "WORKS"
Yet I became defensive thinking he might have a gun or knife.
A couple dollars would not be noticed by my budget.
But I did not help him.
Some will say he was probably on drugs, wanting alcohol, whatever.
But how will I ever know that?
The title was to get your attention, nobody is a bum to me.
What would you have done?
What would Jesus have done?

 

[handy]

I've been in this situation at times. I don't give money, but I do offer to take them out to dinner. If there had been a McD's in or around the Wal-Mart, I would have offered to pay for anything on the menu. I also would make sure he knew where the local ministries were to find more food and lodgings.

But, no. I don't give money to folks on the street.

It is interesting how often they don't take one up on one's offer of food.

 

[Nick]

I've got approached similarly more than a few times, and I offer to buy them something. I say I won't give them money.

Perhaps they'd use the money for a good meal, but it's clear many of them use it for alcohol or drugs. By buying a meal for them, I ensure that they are well-fed.

I find it interesting that none of them have taken me up on my offer

 

[Riverwolf]

I've been in this situation at times. I don't give money, but I do offer to take them out to dinner.

Yes, of course something similar does happen alot. I do give money, a few bucks and don't really care if they buy a can of beer. For most of them their life is a nightmare compared to us.

My point here is that I judged his book by his cover. I instantly saw him as a threat and not as another living hungry human being.

 

[taromina2003]

Thought the title would get your attention.

I have a permit and sometimes carry a small firearm. Most times I have a fast reach/open knife on me. Not today. Today I am on my way home from the doctor with clean clothes, new nikes, clean shaven, hair pulled back neatly in a ponytail. I'm leaving Walmart, feet from my truck parked in a far corner. I notice this guy coming maybe 25 feet away. Long hair, short unruly beard, dirty clothes. AND he had both hands poked inside the front of a zippered type sweatshirt. And he says "could you spare some money for dinner?" And I tell him no, not today.
No, he did not attack me. That was the end.
So, why am I posting this?
It bothered me all the way home and for most of the evening.
All the threads on here about helping others, good deeds, "WORKS"
Yet I became defensive thinking he might have a gun or knife.
A couple dollars would not be noticed by my budget.
But I did not help him.
Some will say he was probably on drugs, wanting alcohol, whatever.
But how will I ever know that?
The title was to get your attention, nobody is a bum to me.
What would you have done?
What would Jesus have done?

I live in a neighborhood that is considered "the hood" meaning it is a lower income area with lots of diversity and I love it, anyway every time I go to the grocery store I encounter a person in need and my husband and I try and give what we can usually a dollar (on last day before payday LOL) on payday I may be able to spare more...but I, like you have stated not today, not because I don't have money and sometimes I don't but I guess out of sheer annoyance maybe and everytime I refuse to give money but always in a polite manner, when I get home I kick myself if it was just because I was annoyed!

I thank you for this post because it is a reminder and I will pray to overcome my bad habit of being annoyed and instead learn to give with pleasure. It's not easy being human and that is what the good LORD is for.

 

[taromina2003]

I've been in this situation at times. I don't give money, but I do offer to take them out to dinner. If there had been a McD's in or around the Wal-Mart, I would have offered to pay for anything on the menu. I also would make sure he knew where the local ministries were to find more food and lodgings.

But, no. I don't give money to folks on the street.

It is interesting how often they don't take one up on one's offer of food.

Alot of people feel the way you do. I personally don't think it is up to me as to what they spend the money on. I guess to me the point is the giving. If I knew the person well and knew they had a substance abuse problem I would not enable them but as for a stranger on the street? that is his business how he spends my small donation.

 

[taromina2003]

Yes, of course something similar does happen alot. I do give money, a few bucks and don't really care if they buy a can of beer. For most of them their life is a nightmare compared to us.

My point here is that I judged his book by his cover. I instantly saw him as a threat and not as another living hungry human being.

In my neighborhood everyone looks needy including myself LOL

 

[Nick]

Alot of people feel the way you do. I personally don't think it is up to me as to what they spend the money on. I guess to me the point is the giving. If I knew the person well and knew they had a substance abuse problem I would not enable them but as for a stranger on the street? that is his business how he spends my small donation.

I disagree - it is my business what my donation is used for. I'm not going to help pay them to get drunk or buy drugs.

 

[Pebbles]

If a homeless person specifically said that "please help me buy dinner" I would ask him what he wanted for dinner and offered to buy him that.

I'm no longer in the habit of giving money to homeless pepole I don't feel that their discretion can be trusted given the exceptionally high risk that they are addicted to somthing. In terms of money I think I'm better off donating to homeless charities. Whitch I do.

As it stands there is one guy who I don't even know if he's homeless but he continually asks me to change singing some sob story about begin unable to afford the bus to geto the shelter. I only once fell for his trap, he's just a junkie trying to score.

 

[Riverwolf]

Hmmm...
Well one thing's for sure, I'll never be a best selling author.
I just don't have the way with words.
I was trying to point out the boundries between helping and not helping based only on appearance and perceived threat levels.
Panhandling/begging is actually quite rare around here. Standing at busy intersections with cardboard signs is more the norm. And to a lessor extent the store parking lot scenarios. That was not the point of my post at all.

What is it inside of us that determines our self-preservation levels or limits?

Would Jesus while walking the earth have passed over someone calling out to him based on the probability of that person causing him bodily harm?

(Forget the idea that he would know ahead of time)

 

[Lewis]

Thought the title would get your attention.

I have a permit and sometimes carry a small firearm. Most times I have a fast reach/open knife on me. Not today. Today I am on my way home from the doctor with clean clothes, new nikes, clean shaven, hair pulled back neatly in a ponytail. I'm leaving Walmart, feet from my truck parked in a far corner. I notice this guy coming maybe 25 feet away. Long hair, short unruly beard, dirty clothes. AND he had both hands poked inside the front of a zippered type sweatshirt. And he says "could you spare some money for dinner?" And I tell him no, not today.
No, he did not attack me. That was the end.
So, why am I posting this?
It bothered me all the way home and for most of the evening.
All the threads on here about helping others, good deeds, "WORKS"
Yet I became defensive thinking he might have a gun or knife.
A couple dollars would not be noticed by my budget.
But I did not help him.
Some will say he was probably on drugs, wanting alcohol, whatever.
But how will I ever know that?
The title was to get your attention, nobody is a bum to me.
What would you have done?
What would Jesus have done?

Happens here in Philly all the time, we have a huge homeless situation here. Now when I have it, I give it to them, and when I have had it, and I did not give it to them, it bugged me.

 

[taromina2003]

If a homeless person specifically said that "please help me buy dinner" I would ask him what he wanted for dinner and offered to buy him that.

I'm no longer in the habit of giving money to homeless pepole I don't feel that their discretion can be trusted given the exceptionally high risk that they are addicted to somthing. In terms of money I think I'm better off donating to homeless charities. Whitch I do.

As it stands there is one guy who I don't even know if he's homeless but he continually asks me to change singing some sob story about begin unable to afford the bus to geto the shelter. I only once fell for his trap, he's just a junkie trying to score.

I guess I feel it is not up to me to judge what the poor stranger is doing with my donation, that is up to the good Lord. Some are not just using the money for drugs or alcohol, the money may be for other reasons. The point is the giving, I totally understand where you are coming from but I feel like the other poster, if the person wants to buy a beer to get through his day what the heck, my lack of donation because I judge what he may do with it certainly is not going to make him go straight. Giving with a smile and the Lord in your heart goes along way add a little prayer for the person doesn't hurt either.

 

[taromina2003]

Happens here in Philly all the time, we have a huge homeless situation here. Now when I have it, I give it to them, and when I have had it, and I did not give it to them, it bugged me.

I know that feeling.

 

[taromina2003]

Hmmm...
Well one thing's for sure, I'll never be a best selling author.
I just don't have the way with words.
I was trying to point out the boundries between helping and not helping based only on appearance and perceived threat levels.
Panhandling/begging is actually quite rare around here. Standing at busy intersections with cardboard signs is more the norm. And to a lessor extent the store parking lot scenarios. That was not the point of my post at all.

What is it inside of us that determines our self-preservation levels or limits?

Would Jesus while walking the earth have passed over someone calling out to him based on the probability of that person causing him bodily harm?

(Forget the idea that he would know ahead of time)

You may not feel like you got your point across but you have made a point non the less and I certainly am reminded about my own selfish attitude that I have to constantly work on when someone approaches me.

 

[taromina2003]

I disagree - it is my business what my donation is used for. I'm not going to help pay them to get drunk or buy drugs.

I understand and that is certainly your choice.

 

[Nick]

I understand and that is certainly your choice.

Just to clarify: I think that giving is very important, and I don't think anyone here would argue that it is a Biblical principle.
However, I think the money is much better going to someone to help feed them, or to a charity that will help these people by providing services for them. I personally don't feel right just giving them money if I think that they're going to spend it on getting high or whatever. Many of these homeless people have serious alcohol or drug addictions, and I"m not going to help them continue that.

I have a thought, why don't we try to pray with them? Or at least for them when we get home.

 

[a wretch like me]

I find I am much more likely to give to someone who is not asking and has no sign. I see them regularly and I'm sure you have too. They'll be sitting against a building or a dumpster. Many times I see the results on the ground from scrounging in the dumpster. They are need of a bath, disheveled and sometimes talking to imaginary companions. Many times the Spirit moves me to help them and I do.

I have seen one particular older fella walking up and down a main road here for several years at various times of the day. He never asks for money. He frequents the same burger joint where I like to stop for lunch. He cleans up in the restroom then comes in out of the heat and the Mgr gives him a to go cup with water. He sits at a table and rolls a few cigarettes out of a bag of tobacco. He never bothers anyone, just getting out of the heat.

Some time back I went to the Mgr and had him make up a burger, fries and cold drink for the guy and paid him for it. I asked that they not say who paid for it. I could see the happiness in his face out of the corner of my eye. I didn't want him to know who paid for it for a couple of reasons. I didn't wish to embarrass him and as well didn't want to encourage him to ask for more, though I doubted he would.

I would see him there a couple of times a week and each time I did the same thing. It wasn't long before he figured out who was doing it and was very thankful and polite. This still goes on today although I see him only once or twice a month. He still never asks but makes sure to politely say thanks each time.

Just the other day as I was getting back in my pickup at the restaurant a woman pulled up to the side of my truck and rolled down the window of her old car to talk. In the passenger seat was an elderly man. She asked if I would buy him, her father, something to eat. She said he was a diabetic and hadn't eaten that day. She was afraid he would pass out. It was a few days before she got her check. Well, man, there was no way I could say no and ever hope to sleep that nite.

I told her I would make sure they both had food, but that I was going to sit there and watch her go get it. And if they drove away without getting food I would follow her and get the money back. I gave her $40 to help last a day or two and she indeed bought their lunch and thanked me profusely.

I'm not a wealthy man but the Good Lord showers me with blessings daily, more than I deserve. I feel His presence often and I believe He steers people to me that I am able to help. And I do so gladly.

 

[taromina2003]

I find I am much more likely to give to someone who is not asking and has no sign. I see them regularly and I'm sure you have too. They'll be sitting against a building or a dumpster. Many times I see the results on the ground from scrounging in the dumpster. They are need of a bath, disheveled and sometimes talking to imaginary companions. Many times the Spirit moves me to help them and I do.

I have seen one particular older fella walking up and down a main road here for several years at various times of the day. He never asks for money. He frequents the same burger joint where I like to stop for lunch. He cleans up in the restroom then comes in out of the heat and the Mgr gives him a to go cup with water. He sits at a table and rolls a few cigarettes out of a bag of tobacco. He never bothers anyone, just getting out of the heat.

Some time back I went to the Mgr and had him make up a burger, fries and cold drink for the guy and paid him for it. I asked that they not say who paid for it. I could see the happiness in his face out of the corner of my eye. I didn't want him to know who paid for it for a couple of reasons. I didn't wish to embarrass him and as well didn't want to encourage him to ask for more, though I doubted he would.

I would see him there a couple of times a week and each time I did the same thing. It wasn't long before he figured out who was doing it and was very thankful and polite. This still goes on today although I see him only once or twice a month. He still never asks but makes sure to politely say thanks each time.

Just the other day as I was getting back in my pickup at the restaurant a woman pulled up to the side of my truck and rolled down the window of her old car to talk. In the passenger seat was an elderly man. She asked if I would buy him, her father, something to eat. She said he was a diabetic and hadn't eaten that day. She was afraid he would pass out. It was a few days before she got her check. Well, man, there was no way I could say no and ever hope to sleep that nite.

I told her I would make sure they both had food, but that I was going to sit there and watch her go get it. And if they drove away without getting food I would follow her and get the money back. I gave her $40 to help last a day or two and she indeed bought their lunch and thanked me profusely.

I'm not a wealthy man but the Good Lord showers me with blessings daily, more than I deserve. I feel His presence often and I believe He steers people to me that I am able to help. And I do so gladly.

God Bless your heart. You know I envy you to beable to help that man and those people, I believe it to be a blessing to help someone like that and you get to do it all the time! :waving

 

[taromina2003]

Just to clarify: I think that giving is very important, and I don't think anyone here would argue that it is a Biblical principle.
However, I think the money is much better going to someone to help feed them, or to a charity that will help these people by providing services for them. I personally don't feel right just giving them money if I think that they're going to spend it on getting high or whatever. Many of these homeless people have serious alcohol or drug addictions, and I"m not going to help them continue that.

I have a thought, why don't we try to pray with them? Or at least for them when we get home.

Prayers are priceless. Sometimes that is all we have to give.

 

[Nacho]

I disagree - it is my business what my donation is used for. I'm not going to help pay them to get drunk or buy drugs.

Here is my thought on the subject.....if the Holy Spirit tells you to give someone some money it is not up to us to make sure it is used for good. It is up to us to obey the Holy Spirits call. Maybe they will buy drugs or alcohol with it maybe they will buy food or clothing. It is not our money anyway...it is Gods money..have faith that God has a reason for giving to that person. The Holy Spirit urged you to give to them for a reason. Who are we to judge the will of God?

If the Holy Spirit is not urging you then don't give....you could actually cause them more pain by trying to please yourself by giving.

Let us all keep our hearts open to the call of the Holy Spirit....I pray that everyone who reads this will be sensitive to the gentle whisper and we will have the faith to act when we are moved.