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The Girl's Thread

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allenwynne said:
Actually, the Doors were terrible.
When I was young I thought they were great.
Then I got saved and listened to them.
Their music was all about sex and dirty, crazy things.
And I wondered how I could listen to them.
The whole thing they said and did went right over my head because I was unsaved.
But Jesus took me away from all that stuff.

I'm sorry I joked about them.
Mea culpa, mea culpa.
Click to expand...
Secular music is still about sex,infidelity and crazy things.I pick and choose my secular music very,very carefully.I was more into soft rock stuff when I was a young girl. :)
 
Claudya said:
Thank you! :)
I know it's sometimes best to walk away.
Well with all the talking about my (ex-) boss/lover being evil I also need to be honest and say that he has some awesome qualities that I want in a man. He's not willfully destroying my confidence. He just expects people to be confident (he's not exactly confident himself thus lack of confidence in others bothers him.) and he thinks the best way to help them get there is to challenge them by joking about their weaknesses and continuously challenging them - unfortunately it isn't working. A woman that is actually confident in herself may get very happy with him and make him very happy.

Anyway, if it's meant to be it will be even if I walk away now, and if it isn't then I'm better off walking away.
If that whole story is good for something it was a lesson: I need to love myself and take care of myself so the next time I run into some awesome man I will not stand there empty handed and insecure, but strong and ready to be a good counterpart to him.
Click to expand...

Some people who lack confidence will deliberately challenge someone else in order to lower the other person's confidence, they want to bring them down to their level so that they don't feel so insecure.
Abusive people often have this same trait only they are more likely not to use joking to do it, although some do.
 
Deborah13 said:
Some people who lack confidence will deliberately challenge someone else in order to lower the other person's confidence, they want to bring them down to their level so that they don't feel so insecure.
Abusive people often have this same trait only they are more likely not to use joking to do it, although some do.
Click to expand...
I agree Deborah.
 
allenwynne said:
My wife controls me.
I'm her slave.
Click to expand...
b69975dd15f3f0b3ecfa51ee807c43e3.jpg
 
Deborah13 said:
Some people who lack confidence will deliberately challenge someone else in order to lower the other person's confidence, they want to bring them down to their level so that they don't feel so insecure.
Abusive people often have this same trait only they are more likely not to use joking to do it, although some do.
Click to expand...

Hm, that's not the way he is... he loves when someone fires back at him. His closest friends are people that love him but also stand up to him, and he told me that's the way he wants it to be. Ironically, that's what I'd wish of my friends, too, but most people are afraid of any kind of clash and overly obsessed with unity and harmony. Sometime when I do feel strong enough I do enjoy that man's personality a lot. Unfortunately I don't often feel strong enough.
 
Claudya said:
Hm, that's not the way he is... he loves when someone fires back at him. His closest friends are people that love him but also stand up to him, and he told me that's the way he wants it to be. Ironically, that's what I'd wish of my friends, too, but most people are afraid of any kind of clash and overly obsessed with unity and harmony. Sometime when I do feel strong enough I do enjoy that man's personality a lot. Unfortunately I don't often feel strong enough.
Click to expand...
army chic
 
Claudya said:
Hm, that's not the way he is... he loves when someone fires back at him. His closest friends are people that love him but also stand up to him, and he told me that's the way he wants it to be. Ironically, that's what I'd wish of my friends, too, but most people are afraid of any kind of clash and overly obsessed with unity and harmony. Sometime when I do feel strong enough I do enjoy that man's personality a lot. Unfortunately I don't often feel strong enough.
Click to expand...

Sorry I didn't mean to imply that your friend is abusive, I don't know him.
I am wondering, if you don't mind me asking if you do just ignore me :), about this that you said..
.
"He just expects people to be confident (he's not exactly confident himself thus lack of confidence in others bothers him.) and he thinks the best way to help them get there is to challenge them by joking about their weaknesses and continuously challenging them"

How does he respond when they challenge him, what does he say or do?
 
Deborah13 said:
Sorry I didn't mean to imply that your friend is abusive, I don't know him.
I am wondering, if you don't mind me asking if you do just ignore me :), about this that you said..
.
"He just expects people to be confident (he's not exactly confident himself thus lack of confidence in others bothers him.) and he thinks the best way to help them get there is to challenge them by joking about their weaknesses and continuously challenging them"

How does he respond when they challenge him, what does he say or do?
Click to expand...

Depends on the situation. Usually it's all playfull and everyone who knows them knows it's all in good humour.
His own lack of confidence doesn't show easily, he's good at covering it up. People who don't know him would rather say he's super assertive.
But his own insecurity makes him overrate that one trait, confidence.
 
Claudya said:
Depends on the situation. Usually it's all playfull and everyone who knows them knows it's all in good humour.
His own lack of confidence doesn't show easily, he's good at covering it up. People who don't know him would rather say he's super assertive.
But his own insecurity makes him overrate that one trait, confidence.
Click to expand...

So maybe, because he believes that when he gets others to challenge him it helps them, then it also helps him to be challenged to build his confidence. Rather like self therapy?
 
Deborah13 said:
So maybe, because he believes that when he gets others to challenge him it helps them, then it also helps him to be challenged to build his confidence. Rather like self therapy?
Click to expand...
That is quite common and good.
Most men need to be challenged in one way or another.
It's all part of growing up with competition in sports, etc...
 
I think all this girly talk has gotten away from the OP.
I think you girly types have to get with it or be expelled by the men controllers of this thread.
 
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