What's new
By:
Filters
Christian Forums

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

  • Focus on the Family

    Strengthening families through biblical principles.

    Focus on the Family addresses the use of biblical principles in parenting and marriage to strengthen the family.

    Read daily articles from Focus on the Family in the Marriage and Parenting Resources forum.

  • Guest, Join Papa Zoom today for some uplifting biblical encouragement! --> Daily Verses

  • The Gospel of Jesus Christ

    Heard of "The Gospel"? Want to know more?

    There is salvation in no other, for there is not another name under heaven having been given among men, by which it behooves us to be saved."

    Read The Gospel Online.

theology of sexual unhappiness in marrage?

2024 Website Hosting Fees

Total amount
$1,048.00
Goal
$1,038.00
Donate View
D

dinoguy

Member
Looking over the threads in this forum, it is obvious that many married couples are not happy with sexual issues in their relationship. How is this explained biblically?
It seems to me that if God is able to work in our hears thru the Holy Spirit He could fine tune our hearts to make us more compatible. But he chooses not to in many cases, it seems. Are these possible explanations?

1) This is something that God does not care about. He created sexuality for the propagation of the species and whether we are happy about it or not simply does not appear on His radar screen.

2) He leaves us unhappy in this regard so we know what it is to suffer. Christ was a man of suffering and tears, and part of being Christlike is suffering. If our lives were a bed of roses we would not share in Christ's experience.

Any other ideas?
 
Greetings landsurveyor to CF.net. It's good to have you join us in Jesus' name. I'll hold off participating in this thread until I see where it's going.
:waving
 
landsurveyor said:
Looking over the threads in this forum, it is obvious that many married couples are not happy with sexual issues in their relationship. How is this explained biblically?
It seems to me that if God is able to work in our hears thru the Holy Spirit He could fine tune our hearts to make us more compatible. But he chooses not to in many cases, it seems. Are these possible explanations?

1) This is something that God does not care about. He created sexuality for the propagation of the species and whether we are happy about it or not simply does not appear on His radar screen.

2) He leaves us unhappy in this regard so we know what it is to suffer. Christ was a man of suffering and tears, and part of being Christlike is suffering. If our lives were a bed of roses we would not share in Christ's experience.

Any other ideas?
Click to expand...

Hi there; good to see you; God bless His Word to you.

I must admit, these propositions and suggestions are being stated in an unusual fashion. I don't quite understand where the intended line of thought may be going.
 
farouk said:
Hi there; good to see you; God bless His Word to you.

I must admit, these propositions and suggestions are being stated in an unusual fashion. I don't quite understand where the intended line of thought may be going.
Click to expand...

I'm just looking to understand the situation.
Personally I believe that God is omnipotent. So if he is not working in spouses' hearts to make them satisfied with their situation He either doesn't think the problem is significant or is choosing to not do it.
 
The subject is kind of broad, and narrowed to God caring or not. Obviously God cares, but it's difficult to know to what extent when it comes to a couples sexual satisfaction.

Part of the problem we face today is the unnatural world we live in today. We are inundated with sexual messages in our man-made culture. We have developed control methods which have freed people to see sex as more of a sport for pleasure and limit it's natural functionality. So in that, when we consider what all we've done to minimize sex, why should God care, because most of the concern we voice (I think) centers around and idea of false "needs", in the name of "just because we can".

If we lived back in the day, for example, We would not make near the complaints about sex they make today. We would understand the value of marriage more, and how exactly it relate to sex.
 
If we lived back in the day, for example, We would not make near the
complaints about sex they make today. We would understand the value of marriage
more, and how exactly it relate to sex.
Click to expand...
Amen

We can also remember sex is God given and He created us with the feel good parts.
 
Remember that marriage is the union of two fallen people. Even if both are redeemed, we still sin. I see marriage as a wonderful school that helps us to be more Christ-like. Learning to compromise, deal with not getting your way all the time, and sacrificial love are all important lessons for us to learn. Of course, this is going to apply to the sexual arena as well, as few two people have exactly the same desires. God cares intensely about this matter, however He is more concerned with it as a means of sanctification than as whether or not you are having fun all the time.

Now, this isn't meant to say that marriage is not supposed to be a tremendous blessing on the couple, or that their intimate life is not meant to be fulfilling and joyful. It is. However, problems arise when one or both partners care more about themselves than the other. That's when they need to communicate their needs to each other and come to agreements about sex. Of course, if one or both are sinfully refusing to cooperate by either withholding sex or making demands that make the other partner comfortable, then this needs to be dealt with as the sin that it is. If problems persist, I'd recommend qualified Christian counseling.
 
Danus said:
If we lived back in the day, for example, We would not make near the complaints about sex they make today. We would understand the value of marriage more, and how exactly it relate to sex.
Click to expand...

Do you have a year or era in mind when you say "back in the day?"
 
landsurveyor said:
Do you have a year or era in mind when you say "back in the day?"
Click to expand...

Sure. Before the "sexual revolution", before birth control, before the proliferation of media porn. Back when people worked not just for a living but to live. Pick any time like that.
 
Edward said:
But if it didn't feel good we wouldn't do it. ;)

Seriously though, sexual satisfaction is 99% in the head and if one understands how human drives work, it is very much easier to fully satisfy ones partner. A good book on the subject is an old book called Psychology of Sex Relations. By Theodor Reik.Your Library should have it.
Click to expand...
Sex is a part of life we should never leave God out of. We should see what He as to say on the subject first. Then compare what the world has to say to His guidance.
 
landsurveyor said:
Looking over the threads in this forum, it is obvious that many married couples are not happy with sexual issues in their relationship. How is this explained biblically?
It seems to me that if God is able to work in our hears thru the Holy Spirit He could fine tune our hearts to make us more compatible. But he chooses not to in many cases, it seems. Are these possible explanations?

1) This is something that God does not care about. He created sexuality for the propagation of the species and whether we are happy about it or not simply does not appear on His radar screen.

2) He leaves us unhappy in this regard so we know what it is to suffer. Christ was a man of suffering and tears, and part of being Christlike is suffering. If our lives were a bed of roses we would not share in Christ's experience.

Any other ideas?
Click to expand...

If you want a great marriage in every area, follow what the apostle Paul teaches, "husbands love your wives" this is not the same as husbands be in love with your wives, no its an obligation to do somthing you may not feel like doing somtimes when your spouse isn't so loving or deserving

and if they follow Pauls teaching its vice versa

If you made an effort to really love your wife, like you did when you first met, you would be amazed at how well this teaching plays out for you

If a lack of love has been an issue for awhile, you may have to keep working at it for awhile to reap the results, but love conquers all
 
So it sounds like the Group's opinion is that the Holy Spirit does not do anything, and it is up to the individual to change themselves.
But why doesn't God or the Holy Spirit do something?
It would be so easy for God to just adjust the thinking of the two people a little so they are on the same wavelength.

This is more of a theological question than a question about sexuality itself and I should probably raise it on another forum.
 
I am the Lord's servant, and I am willing to accept whatever He wants. If pain and suffering is needed to fulfill his purpose and glory in my life, please don't take it away. So I make it my goal to please the Lord.

If you are in a sexual unhappy marriage protect your inner me. Guard your heart with all diligence and stay in prayer.
 
landsurveyor said:
Looking over the threads in this forum, it is obvious that many married couples are not happy with sexual issues in their relationship. How is this explained biblically?
It seems to me that if God is able to work in our hears thru the Holy Spirit He could fine tune our hearts to make us more compatible. But he chooses not to in many cases, it seems. Are these possible explanations?

1) This is something that God does not care about. He created sexuality for the propagation of the species and whether we are happy about it or not simply does not appear on His radar screen.

2) He leaves us unhappy in this regard so we know what it is to suffer. Christ was a man of suffering and tears, and part of being Christlike is suffering. If our lives were a bed of roses we would not share in Christ's experience.

Any other ideas?
Click to expand...


the sex is just a consumption which has been made of God in addition to the fact that it is also a means of procreation, but the system of human(666) spirituality/religion usually defiles it, because the sex is rated sinful on the part of the system of "beastly"(666) spirituality/religion, for the system of (the) sin needed something which to substitute the very sin that is the spiritual/religious iniquity, that's why the sex from the beginning of the sin's existence was so problematic and defiled

Genesis 3:1-7 "Now the serpent(i.e. and lo, the devil came from the "darkness", and it) was more subtil than any beast(i.e. and it was guileful as opposed to the things) of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden? And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden: But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of(i.e. which is beyond) the garden(viz. the "tree" which to the humans is occultism/esotericism), God hath said, Ye shall not eat of(i.e. you must not practise) it, neither shall ye touch(i.e. neither shall you explore) it, lest ye die. And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die: For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened(i.e. then occult/yogic perceptions/senses will appear in you), and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil(i.e. and you will be as the God Himself, viz. with omniscience and omnipotence like Him). And when the woman saw that the tree was(i.e. that the forbidden "tree" ostensibly looked) good for food, and that it was(i.e. and that it ostensibly looked) pleasant to the eyes(i.e. to the human mind), and a tree to be desired to make one wise(i.e. to make the human being omniscient and omnipotent), she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat. And the eyes of them both were opened(i.e. and occult/yogic perceptions/senses appeared in them both), and they knew that they were naked(i.e. and from that moment on they began to perceive the creature(-s)/creation(-s) of God as shameful/sinful); and they sewed fig leaves(i.e. and they found (great) false spiritual knowledge) together, and made themselves aprons(i.e. and made themselves human(666) spirituality/religion starting to defile the creature(-s)/creation(-s) of God via it)."

Blessings
 
Last edited by a moderator:
The vast majority of unhappiness sexually, particularly in a Christian marriage, lies with the those who seek their own satisfaction. Typically, though not always, this is the male in the relationship.

If a wife is not "interested" as often as the husband is, he needs to find out why. Nine times out of ten, he will find that it is his own insensitivity and selfishness in this aspect of the marriage. If one is engaged in sacrificial love, uncaring for one's own "satisfaction" but instead making certain that the other partner is not only understood, but cherished, loved, valued and trusted, if one throws out all one's own "needs" and focuses instead on those of the partner, I can guarantee you, there will never be any complaint about frequency, quality or intensity.
 
reba said:
Numbers is newly engaged think it shows ? :yes congrats
Click to expand...

Yes, definitely, Reba. His blessed attitude towards how a marriage truly should be is obvious. His soon-to-be-wife is blessed as well, for she will be married to a man who understands & accepts how our Lord instructs marriage to be.

Congrats anew, TND!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top