Thoughts on a Poem

[Ed the Ned]

I in a moment of pressure ( I was shy and ready to please anyone) gave my life to Christ at the age of 12 at a youth camp. I then at the age of 16 became a quiet rebel. I obeyed my parents but enjoyed the parties and drank etc. When I joined the army at the age of 18 and served in the South African Airforce during apartheid. I had a rage against God, and wrote a lot of poetry. English was my worst subject at school but I enjoyed reading and writing Poetry. I shared with no one. My life with Christ is a lot closer now but read this poem I wrote at 19 years of age and comment if you wish.

If, in darkness, I be holy content,
and my soul reluctant to repent,
And I, a being, my thoughts resent:
Then He who death knoweth,
Thorn to the seeds he soweth;

Need I fight in knowing despair,
As spirit from body doth tear,
And judgement my soul relieve,
And to Him I silently decieve;
If, in darkness, I be holy content.


Please note this poem has been in a box for the last 20 years and I am trying to make sense of how I was thinking during that period of my life. I found about 25 poems I had written.

 

[lklgr]

I in a moment of pressure ( I was shy and ready to please anyone) gave my life to Christ at the age of 12 at a youth camp. I then at the age of 16 became a quiet rebel. I obeyed my parents but enjoyed the parties and drank etc. When I joined the army at the age of 18 and served in the South African Airforce during apartheid. I had a rage against God, and wrote a lot of poetry. English was my worst subject at school but I enjoyed reading and writing Poetry. I shared with no one. My life with Christ is a lot closer now but read this poem I wrote at 19 years of age and comment if you wish.

If, in darkness, I be holy content,
and my soul reluctant to repent,
And I, a being, my thoughts resent:
Then He who death knoweth,
Thorn to the seeds he soweth;

Need I fight in knowing despair,
As spirit from body doth tear,
And judgement my soul relieve,
And to Him I silently decieve;
If, in darkness, I be holy content.


Please note this poem has been in a box for the last 20 years and I am trying to make sense of how I was thinking during that period of my life. I found about 25 poems I had written.

Greetings Ed!

In the first place I would like to say that your poem is beautifully written, it is to the point, understandable, and within only a few lines, a reader can detect disapointment, anger, betrayal, and (and definitely like you mentioned in your opening paragraph) defiance. I thought the poem also had a tinge of doomed, despairing and grief. Then again, maybe I am reading way to much into it. Short of it is, I liked the poem; my favorite line was the opening "If, in darkness, I be holy content," That was an attention catcher right there! An excellent piece; especially for someone whose english was his worst subject I think you are a very gifted writer! I'd definitely read more of your stuff.

Lee