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Use Of FACEBOOK Destroys Marriages

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DrFrank

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This fascinating article appeared on the CNN News website describing how even one of the most popular websites in the world can have an evil influence in a society that is now rapidly spinning out of moral control.

"Ken Savage says that, at first, he welcomed his wife's new interest in Facebook.

She had recently recovered from a bout with depression and dependence on prescription drugs, and he thought reconnecting with old friends would help get her out of her rut. But he says he became increasingly suspicious of her social networking activity when she began hiding her computer screen when he entered the room.

Savage soon discovered his wife was using the site to meet up with an old boyfriend -- an increasingly common occurrence as more and more adults join Facebook.

Savage, 38, of Lowell, Massachusetts, is the creator of FacebookCheating.com, a website he started in 2009 shortly after he discovered his wife's affair in an effort "to help others cope with someone cheating on them as well as shine light upon someone who is using Facebook to cheat."

A recent survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers found that eighty-one (81) percent of divorce attorneys have seen an increase in the number of cases using social networking evidence during the past five years. More than 66 percent of those attorneys said the No. 1 site most often used as evidence is Facebook with its 400 million registered users.

Another recent survey by Divorce-Online.com of more than 5,000 attorneys says Facebook is mentioned in about 20 percent of divorce cases.

"As everyone continues to share more and more aspects of their lives on social networking sites, they leave themselves open to much greater examinations of both their public and private lives in these sensitive situations," Marlene Eskind Moses, president of the AAML, said in a statement of the survey's results.

Savage, told HLN's "Prime News" Wednesday that the networking site is simply "a tool for an affair." Facebook "makes it much easier."

Stacey Kaiser, a psychotherapist and relationship expert, says she estimates Facebook plays a much larger factor in divorces.

"It's not just your everyday affair," Kaiser told "Prime News." "When it comes to something like Facebook, you are reconnecting with a long-lost love. All those teenage feelings, those college feelings come back again, you feel young again, and it DRIVES YOU TO DO SOMETHING YOU DON'T NORMALLY DO."


LOOKS LIKE ITS INFLUENCE IS ALMOST SATANIC IN NATURE ! :help

WE NEED TO THANK GOD THESE ARE THE LAST DAYS !! :bounce
 
:lol It's not Facebook that is satanic, or destroying marriages. It is people's own sinful desires that lead them to misuse something to destroy their marriage. That's like saying "the devil made me do it" when it really was the person's fault.
 
I agree with Caroline. It isn't facebook that is to blame for people cheating. It is people to blame for themselves cheating. I don't believe that reconnecting with an old flame "drives you to do something you wouldn't normally do." Depending on how the person turned out in life, it could actually have the total opposite effect "Wow, I am glad I did not end up marrying that person!!!" :biggrin
 
i wonder if dr.frank would say the same bout cell phones, cars , and well anything that is used by a man to sin.
 
If use of Facebook is going to destroy a marriage, there's a pretty good likelihood that the marriage isn't all that strong to begin with. Getting fixated about Facebook, golf, poker or uncountable other things is more of a sympton that one or both of the people in the marriage are finding other things more interesting than spending quality time with their partner, their family and the other truly important things in life.

In November, my wife and I will have been married for 36 years. God knows (and God does know!) I've done a lot of mean and stupid things along the way, but I'm delighted and extremely grateful that my wife and I never quit on each other. In my experience, many people take the easy way out and give up on important parts of life, only to regret it later on. There's a lot to be said for hanging in and working through the problems.
 
I agree that technology of all kinds can be used for good and bad. Even the internet as a whole can be.

But I also see a real danger in connecting with old friends and even sweethearts. I have a good friend who's parents were married for over 40 years. His mother found an old flame on Facebook and left her husband "out of the middle of nowhere". I put that in quotes, because who knows? They appeared happily married, but there could have been something missing in the first place, and Facebook added an avenue to venture out.

I can see how people can have a nostalgic view of a simpler time when love was innocent. All they knew was puppy love, and they think they can return to this time in their lives and things will be as they were. They start catching up on FB, things slowly or quickly get more personal as they relive memories, then feelings for this person start to re-emerge. Most people who get caught in this snare are likely predisposed to infidelity, but I imagine some never start out with that idea and get swept away. :shame

People need to stay connected in their marriages, show deep appreciation to their spouses and never make them feel taken for granted. Christian couples need to be in prayer together to allow the Lord to guide them and keep their vows fruitful, and the pitfalls of Facebook and other social sites will be less likely to corrupt their homes. The more technology allows people to connect, the more we need to stay grounded in our faith and use it for good, not evil. My :twocents
 
Dr Frank, you really scare me sometimes. :)

How do you feel about Television with all its violence and blasphemy?
The internet with all its child pornography and other evil sites?
Spending a lot of time on this forum rather with one’s family/Bible study/praying/reaching out to the needy? :confused

FB is not evil. People’s motives are evil. As a matter of fact; people use the Bible for evil on a daily basis. I’m not exaggerating or being disrespectful. There are people out there that will use scriptures from the Bible to brain wash people into doing the most horrible things because ‘it is God’s will’. :mad

Take a look at the following profiles on FB;

Reaching Out Link - http://m.facebook.com/group.php?gid=279 ... 7&refid=46

Margo Animal Sanctuary - http://m.facebook.com/margosanimalsanct ... 1&refid=46

Help Jack Save Abused Elephants in Thailand - http://m.facebook.com/group.php?gid=181 ... d&refid=46

Not very evil, I would say. :)
 
Cell phones can be used for "sexting" or for calling ones family and friends that are too far away to visit...
A car can be used in a drive-by shooting or for delivering an expectant mother to the hospital for the birth of her child...
Computers can be used for looking up porn and snuff films or for using an online Bible concordance to benefit ones Bible studies...

Technology in general is neutral, neither good nor bad. It's how an individual decides to use it that determines whether the results will be beneficial or destructive. If someone is using Facebook to find people to cheat on their spouse with, that's something they chose to do, not something Facebook did to them. Anyone who uses Facebook to find someone to be with would have been using other sources, too, and was open to cheating with or without that technology.
 
Clémentine said:
Cell phones can be used for "sexting" or for calling ones family and friends that are too far away to visit...
A car can be used in a drive-by shooting or for delivering an expectant mother to the hospital for the birth of her child...
Computers can be used for looking up porn and snuff films or for using an online Bible concordance to benefit ones Bible studies...

Technology in general is neutral, neither good nor bad. It's how an individual decides to use it that determines whether the results will be beneficial or destructive. If someone is using Facebook to find people to cheat on their spouse with, that's something they chose to do, not something Facebook did to them. Anyone who uses Facebook to find someone to be with would have been using other sources, too, and was open to cheating with or without that technology.

Good points there :thumb
 
Caroline H said:
[quote="Clémentine":24nzwdnx]Cell phones can be used for "sexting" or for calling ones family and friends that are too far away to visit...
A car can be used in a drive-by shooting or for delivering an expectant mother to the hospital for the birth of her child...
Computers can be used for looking up porn and snuff films or for using an online Bible concordance to benefit ones Bible studies...

Technology in general is neutral, neither good nor bad. It's how an individual decides to use it that determines whether the results will be beneficial or destructive. If someone is using Facebook to find people to cheat on their spouse with, that's something they chose to do, not something Facebook did to them. Anyone who uses Facebook to find someone to be with would have been using other sources, too, and was open to cheating with or without that technology.

Good points there :thumb [/quote:24nzwdnx]

Amen
 
Caroline H said:
:lol It's not Facebook that is satanic, or destroying marriages. It is people's own sinful desires that lead them to misuse something to destroy their marriage. That's like saying "the devil made me do it" when it really was the person's fault.

+100!!!

You can't blame 'things' for the sins of people. My wife and I have facebook, we share alot and know who eachother talks to, etc.... Nothing wrong with it when used properly.

This logic is why some people want to ban guns......... :crazy
 
If your right hand causes you to sin cut it off...

I agree Frank it does destroy some Marriages

But it can be used for good as well
 
GojuBrian said:
Caroline H said:
:lol It's not Facebook that is satanic, or destroying marriages. It is people's own sinful desires that lead them to misuse something to destroy their marriage. That's like saying "the devil made me do it" when it really was the person's fault.

+100!!!

You can't blame 'things' for the sins of people. My wife and I have facebook, we share alot and know who eachother talks to, etc.... Nothing wrong with it when used properly.

This logic is why some people want to ban guns......... :crazy


The logic behind banning guns is stronger...I say hunting only
 
really a murder occured near me when i was on my paper route, if a person with a knife slits my wrist just right, i wont be alive when the cops finally arrive. one can pump blood out in a few minutes if an atery is cut.

and cpr doesnt teach the person how to do tourniquets. i know i'm cpr certified and can do tourniquets cause of my army training.
 
Guns don’t kill people. People kill people. You take the guns away, they will use knives. You take the knives away; they will use homemade spears etc.

Anybody who doubts what I’m saying – just jump on the next plane to South Africa.
 
l'Chante said:
Guns don’t kill people. People kill people. You take the guns away, they will use knives. You take the knives away; they will use homemade spears etc.

Anybody who doubts what I’m saying – just jump on the next plane to South Africa.
of course, the anti-gun guys dont get that.

but lets not turn this into gun debate.
 
Face book can also be a good thing. It's all in how we allow ourselves to use it.

My ex wife recently contacted me through face Book, in answer to a letter I wrote her a few years ago. I told my wife about it and we set some ground rules. We became FB friends for a week to catch up and message each other....1 week. After that we deleted each other as FB friends.

I am not recommending anyone do this. I feel my situation "special" in this regard. I've been divorced for 20 years. As in many divorces we had some open wounds that only forgiveness can heal. So, we got the chance to do that. I also got another chance to share my faith with her. something that left me with heavy guilt after my divorce and after coming to Christ. We are back to our lives.
 
I said my piece early on, but as this topic goes on, I feel I need to say a little more. Facebook isn't destroying marriages, and it isn't evil. Money isn't evil; the "love of money" is evil. Facebook is an inanimate object that is used for good and for bad just as everything can be. Anything in the reach of someone who is bent on doing wrong can be leveraged to do wrong. Money, a computer, a camera, a cell phone, etc.; there's nothing inherently good or bad about them. But they can be used for good and for bad.

As sinful people, the more opportunity to do things in the privacy of our home can yield itself to greater temptation. Back when I was growing up, we had one corded phone in the living area. Trying to have a conversation with a girl when my parents were around was... awkward. Now you have cordless phones to move to a private area of the house, and cell phones to move a private place anywhere. With much power comes much responsibility, and buyer beware. Again, these aren't bad things, and they don't destroy lives, but the access to private conversations can present a greater need to resist temptation.

I'm pretty much anonymous to everyone but a few people on this board. The internet has heightened anonymity on all fronts, allowing people to do almost anything without others knowing, but this doesn't mean the computer is evil or destroys lives/marriages, and it isn't good and doesn't improve them. It just is, and it's important to be true to the Lord in using it.

There's my additional :twocents :)

Personally, I think Facebook is overrated. :gah
 
I have to differ on the premise that "Facebook" is the culprit..Facebook doesn't destroy marriages...People do !..More like a troubled wife, I would think....And she didn't need "facebook" to do her dirty work. she could have very easily have used email system...I have seen just as much good come out of facebook. I use it just like I use this forum to spread God's Word...Evil is what you make it when you choose to. Facebook is just a tool for good or evil.
Your thoughts?
 
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