Whats the proper age to be married?

[The Busymind]

I'm Back!!

Hey Guys,

I have a friend of mine who is to be married in May. He will be 19 on the day of his marriage, and his wife will be 20. Coming from a very badly abused and broken family, i find this to be an invitation for trouble. Am i wrong? What is the proper age for marriage?

Thanks,
-TBM

 

[Quath]

I think the important part of marriage is making sure that you and your spouse change in the same direction. People change ove their lives and if married people change in different ways, then it could lead to divorce or a bad marriage.

So I would say that it is more important on how long you date rather than on on how old you are. Age just gives you better insight into evaluating people.

But when people feel they are in love, reason takes a back seat.

 

[dancing queen]

I think why it is often considered too young at that age is a lot of people change personality etc. wise with the transitions of teenager to adult with career, mortgage etc.

My financee and I have an advantage that God has made it clear we are meant to be together, but we are still delaying actually getting married for a couple of years as we both have university degrees to finish and are currently not in a position to build a life together (poor students and a mortgage dont go together). I think this is a big part of the decision, are you ready/able to commit to building a life together.

 

[Gendou Ikari]

As long as you know the person well enough, it does not matter at which age you get married. I know a woman, from my old homeschooling group, who was married at 19 and she lives happily with her husband.

 

[The Busymind]

Dancing Queen,

How do you know that God wants you two to be together?

-TBM

 

[Delicate]

For a man to marry, I thinks it's important to have a clear understanding of the direction God is leading him, as well as to be able to financially and spiritually provide for a family.

A young woman needs to know she can adapt her life to that of her potential husband's. A potential husband would be one she can respect and reverence.

 

[dancing queen]

God told my fiancee directly, and also He has mentioned it to others who have passed on the message. It has not only been that we are meant to be together as a couple but that our work for Him needs us both togther, like not everything but alot of the stuff we do for Christ, uses us as a team and God works through that partnership to achieve great things.

 

[The Busymind]

How did God tell your Fiancee directly? Please explain to me in detail, i'm weight the decision in my own life and i could use your advice.

-TBM

 

[Nikki]

I got married at age 18. My hubby was 21. We have been married for 11 years.

Our first year of marriage was horrible, but God got us through those bad times and helped us learn how to have a successful marriage.

I think both parties should be at least 18.

Also wanted to include that my sister got married at age 17 (long story on why my parents let her get married that young, but I'll say that she was a very troubled and rebellious teen and her now hubby was the best thing for her) and it was the BEST thing that could have happened to her.
They have now been happily married for over 20 years.

 

[Jon-Marc]

It depends on a number of things. (1) The maturity of the individuals involved. (2) Their reasons for getting married. (3) If they're both willing to make sacrifices. (4) If they're both willing to compromise. (5) If they are both dedicated Christians and put Christ first in their lives. (6) If they are both willing to put the other's happiness ahead of their own. (7) If they're both willing to do whatever it takes to make the marriage successful. (8) If they are both able and willing to talk out any problems without screaming, arguing or name-calling. (9) If they are both willing to be faithful always to God and to each other. (10) If they remember never to go to bed angry.

I'm sure there are other things others could add, but that's all I can think of at this time.

 

[antitox]

It depends ultimately on one's life experience and overall perception, not necessarily age, but usually young ages at marriage do not survive for long. There's just too much that they haven't experienced and learned, and often, cheating occurs.
Most people have no clue as to what they are going to experience in the coming years of a marriage. Some just have to undergo the process, find out experientially what they will encounter, and hopefully learn from it.
Likewise, when they decide to have kids, they have absolutely no clue what trials are ahead. Now the guys are the worst at this, and the woman is the one who ends up doing everything, and the guy goes out with his friends.

Divorced at 51 yrs of age, I'm finding out a little more about myself, what occurred, and why, and honestly realize now, what I wanted all along, and how my choices all the way down the line were not what should have been. Sometimes we learn late, and sometimes people may never learn, but the important thing is to find out, and possibly help someone else.

 

[follower of Christ]

I'm Back!!

Hey Guys,

I have a friend of mine who is to be married in May. He will be 19 on the day of his marriage, and his wife will be 20. Coming from a very badly abused and broken family, i find this to be an invitation for trouble. Am i wrong? What is the proper age for marriage?

Thanks,
-TBM

My opinion is the later the better..
Give ourselves a chance to grow up first before we take on that responsibility.
If a person thinks theyre ready for marriage, give it 6 more months just to be sure.