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Dave Slayer
Guest
Where is the best place to find a wife? What would be Biblical? Believe it or not, some have told me to go to the clubs or the bars. I find that unBiblical. So what really is Biblical?
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GojuBrian
Guest
Dave,
Stay out of clubs and bars, period!!! Do you want a wife who likes the party life or do you want a wife that wants to please God?
I"m going to suggest christian singles sites or just dating sites period. Have a look at some,sign up. post your profile. You'll have a date sooner than you think. You can view their profiles, see what they like, if they are christian, tall, short,etc...!! You can talk back and forth for a while ,then when you take her to dinner it will make for nice conversation!!
Stay away from the partiers, recently divorced, etc....Use the good sense God gave you.
Stay out of clubs and bars, period!!! Do you want a wife who likes the party life or do you want a wife that wants to please God?
I"m going to suggest christian singles sites or just dating sites period. Have a look at some,sign up. post your profile. You'll have a date sooner than you think. You can view their profiles, see what they like, if they are christian, tall, short,etc...!! You can talk back and forth for a while ,then when you take her to dinner it will make for nice conversation!!
Stay away from the partiers, recently divorced, etc....Use the good sense God gave you.
.
Beware of wolves in sheep’s clothing. Dating sites don't guarantee that you'll meet women who are authentically dedicated to the Lord. There are plenty of men I have met who are nothing but fakers and did not want "friendship" but wanted to get all they could out of me for their own benefit by 'acting’ as if they truly cared, but in reality all they cared about was meeting their own selfishness. Users is what they are called. And don't be surprised if you come across some women who are no different. You will also meet those who are so judgmental of you that they think they are better than you and want nothing to do with you rather than help to find resolution to any problems together. I've met so called "Christian" men who judged me based upon how successful in my career I was and by the type of neighborhood I lived in, and whether my house was big enough or my car was fancy enough for them to be seen with me or not, just plain ole Snobs. So beware of wolves in sheep’s clothing. Those female wolves like for you to pay for their clothing too! Users, they take advantage of your generosity but crticize you for whether your material things are good enough or not, but then they have no problems taking advantage of you for all they can get out of you. So don't give yourself away so easily just because you want to show everyone you are a "nice guy". Be careful of the users. Don’t know if guys have as much frequencey of a problem like that or not, but I do know that it does happen to them also. That is, not to say you don't already know that much. I'm just rambling on. A bit TMI, maybe? Sorry if that seems so to you. I'm just making comment as they come to mind.
Want to meet more people? Get involved with a good church and looking to be of good service there would be a great start to meet like-minded people. But beware, the churches too are full of sinners looking for a savior just as much as there are those who are there and have grown to overcome many of their sins. People helping people overcome. Not a bunch of people out to get what they can, but out to serve the Lord as best as they can learn to serve. We are all a work in progress and will make plenty enough mistakes and are in need of plenty enough adjustments toward improving our own lives. No one is perfect. Nope, there isn't even a perfect wife, but a person who is striving for the perfection of Holy Spirit manifest is all you will find anywhere.
Too many men and women think to "look" for a spouse first over looking to become best friends with someone first. They've got it backward, and don't realize that they need FIRST become the best of friends. They want to rush into romancing a woman they are not even FIRST of all become the best of friends with. A WIFE is not a commodity in which you go looking for one unless of course you are into arranged marriage and it matters not the personality of the person you will be mated to for the rest of your life and have to then wonder if she is truly a woman of God or find that she is really the women from hell.
A person you would even consider to becoming your wife must first be that one person in which you have become best of friends with over a long course of time. Most people who get married very shortly after they have met usually don't know what they are getting into or they have been so closely matched that they have no doubt that it was meant to be. That is, not to say 'you' don't already know that already all of these things I'm relaying here. It's just me, I tend to ramble on when I type but am not so talkative in person. Isn't that something? Anyway, the way my mind is making comment about what "finding" a wife... Well, I may be giving a bit TMI, so if I am I'm sorry. I don't mean to offend anyone by making comment on the topic of "FINDING" a wife. I just think we should not search, but to live life one day at a time and allow the LORD to reveal the person in due time.
I know many men get freaked out if a woman shows they want to "find" a husband and then pushes on them with hugs and wanting to kiss romantically, and wanting to be with them every second, showing that type of affection prematurely, too early on, rather than just allow a friendship to develop naturally. And if a man doesn't take heed to the rate at which things unfold, then he too just might be too eager and jump into relationship with someone who later on they find is not what they first thought because they let the premature affections come forefront rather than allow the "friendship" to develop first.
And I'm sure many women would get freaked out also if the man were too quick in wanting that type of affection and attention so quickly. FINDING A MATE is not anything but first looking to serve the Lord. He will provide the rest, naturally. You don't have to "go out and "find" a wife if you firstly become friends. Women can sense if a man is too eager to be married. I know I can and that is not what they want first. First they want a friend and then to see what naturally develops from out of friendship, if anything more, the woman will sense it mutually. No need "find" a wife. Just make friends and God will provide one for you when the time is right.
Volunteering to help charities and organizations for a good cause is another good way to meet people who have common interest.
Another way to meet friends, is consider what your hobbies are and get involved in groups that have the same interest as you do.
.
Beware of wolves in sheep’s clothing. Dating sites don't guarantee that you'll meet women who are authentically dedicated to the Lord. There are plenty of men I have met who are nothing but fakers and did not want "friendship" but wanted to get all they could out of me for their own benefit by 'acting’ as if they truly cared, but in reality all they cared about was meeting their own selfishness. Users is what they are called. And don't be surprised if you come across some women who are no different. You will also meet those who are so judgmental of you that they think they are better than you and want nothing to do with you rather than help to find resolution to any problems together. I've met so called "Christian" men who judged me based upon how successful in my career I was and by the type of neighborhood I lived in, and whether my house was big enough or my car was fancy enough for them to be seen with me or not, just plain ole Snobs. So beware of wolves in sheep’s clothing. Those female wolves like for you to pay for their clothing too! Users, they take advantage of your generosity but crticize you for whether your material things are good enough or not, but then they have no problems taking advantage of you for all they can get out of you. So don't give yourself away so easily just because you want to show everyone you are a "nice guy". Be careful of the users. Don’t know if guys have as much frequencey of a problem like that or not, but I do know that it does happen to them also. That is, not to say you don't already know that much. I'm just rambling on. A bit TMI, maybe? Sorry if that seems so to you. I'm just making comment as they come to mind.
Want to meet more people? Get involved with a good church and looking to be of good service there would be a great start to meet like-minded people. But beware, the churches too are full of sinners looking for a savior just as much as there are those who are there and have grown to overcome many of their sins. People helping people overcome. Not a bunch of people out to get what they can, but out to serve the Lord as best as they can learn to serve. We are all a work in progress and will make plenty enough mistakes and are in need of plenty enough adjustments toward improving our own lives. No one is perfect. Nope, there isn't even a perfect wife, but a person who is striving for the perfection of Holy Spirit manifest is all you will find anywhere.
Too many men and women think to "look" for a spouse first over looking to become best friends with someone first. They've got it backward, and don't realize that they need FIRST become the best of friends. They want to rush into romancing a woman they are not even FIRST of all become the best of friends with. A WIFE is not a commodity in which you go looking for one unless of course you are into arranged marriage and it matters not the personality of the person you will be mated to for the rest of your life and have to then wonder if she is truly a woman of God or find that she is really the women from hell.
A person you would even consider to becoming your wife must first be that one person in which you have become best of friends with over a long course of time. Most people who get married very shortly after they have met usually don't know what they are getting into or they have been so closely matched that they have no doubt that it was meant to be. That is, not to say 'you' don't already know that already all of these things I'm relaying here. It's just me, I tend to ramble on when I type but am not so talkative in person. Isn't that something? Anyway, the way my mind is making comment about what "finding" a wife... Well, I may be giving a bit TMI, so if I am I'm sorry. I don't mean to offend anyone by making comment on the topic of "FINDING" a wife. I just think we should not search, but to live life one day at a time and allow the LORD to reveal the person in due time.
I know many men get freaked out if a woman shows they want to "find" a husband and then pushes on them with hugs and wanting to kiss romantically, and wanting to be with them every second, showing that type of affection prematurely, too early on, rather than just allow a friendship to develop naturally. And if a man doesn't take heed to the rate at which things unfold, then he too just might be too eager and jump into relationship with someone who later on they find is not what they first thought because they let the premature affections come forefront rather than allow the "friendship" to develop first.
And I'm sure many women would get freaked out also if the man were too quick in wanting that type of affection and attention so quickly. FINDING A MATE is not anything but first looking to serve the Lord. He will provide the rest, naturally. You don't have to "go out and "find" a wife if you firstly become friends. Women can sense if a man is too eager to be married. I know I can and that is not what they want first. First they want a friend and then to see what naturally develops from out of friendship, if anything more, the woman will sense it mutually. No need "find" a wife. Just make friends and God will provide one for you when the time is right.
Volunteering to help charities and organizations for a good cause is another good way to meet people who have common interest.
Another way to meet friends, is consider what your hobbies are and get involved in groups that have the same interest as you do.
.
W
WiLdAtHeArT
Guest
I agree with Goju Brian. Bars and clubs are bad news.
But then again, I'm not really one to give advice in this area. I was fortunate enough to marry a good friend from my church youth group. I hated dating in college, and if it wasn't for my wife, I'm sure I'd still be single.
But then again, I'm not really one to give advice in this area. I was fortunate enough to marry a good friend from my church youth group. I hated dating in college, and if it wasn't for my wife, I'm sure I'd still be single.
W
Works4Him
Guest
I met my wife on a Christian singles' website. We've been happily married for 4 years in October, and our first child is due in early September.
There are definitely downsides to christian singles sites, or any online dating in general, but my wife and I both feel that it gives you a better chance to see if you're compatible with the person's beliefs and personality before you get drawn into the physical stuff, which can very easily take you down the wrong path.
The only piece of advice I'd offer is to remember that if you meet a gal who's out of state, a decent guy will move to where she is. I had to leave my beloved Nebraska to move up here to Minnesota, where it's 40 degrees in June. Sure I'd do it all over again, but really, Minnesota? God has a sense of humor, that's for sure.
There are definitely downsides to christian singles sites, or any online dating in general, but my wife and I both feel that it gives you a better chance to see if you're compatible with the person's beliefs and personality before you get drawn into the physical stuff, which can very easily take you down the wrong path.
The only piece of advice I'd offer is to remember that if you meet a gal who's out of state, a decent guy will move to where she is. I had to leave my beloved Nebraska to move up here to Minnesota, where it's 40 degrees in June. Sure I'd do it all over again, but really, Minnesota? God has a sense of humor, that's for sure.
G
GojuBrian
Guest
Works4Him said:I met my wife on a Christian singles' website. We've been happily married for 4 years in October, and our first child is due in early September.
There are definitely downsides to christian singles sites, or any online dating in general, but my wife and I both feel that it gives you a better chance to see if you're compatible with the person's beliefs and personality before you get drawn into the physical stuff, which can very easily take you down the wrong path.
The only piece of advice I'd offer is to remember that if you meet a gal who's out of state, a decent guy will move to where she is. I had to leave my beloved Nebraska to move up here to Minnesota, where it's 40 degrees in June. Sure I'd do it all over again, but really, Minnesota? God has a sense of humor, that's for sure.
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Guest
Guest
Russian Brides dot com. Or, if you like the Asian hotties, Orient Brides dot com. They're cheap. They all love you. (Well, for a few years anyway.) And you get to choose from a wide selection. Choose your destiny, tiger. ;)Dave Slayer said:
Side note (for the humorless): No, I do not condone these websites. I think they exploit women seeking much better living conditions.
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Guest
Guest
Relic said:
Oh Lord, please give my brethren a sense of humor.minnesota said:Relic said:
If that is what you call humor, then no thanks. I don't want it. When you yourself have delt with helping women who have been abused, then you too would not find that "type of so called humor" very funny at all.
Oh Lord, please give my brethren sense of humor that does not play or prey upon situations in which women and/or men seek to purchase, put out money, or seek to freely give themselves away to anyone just for the sole reason of thinking it will get them out of a horrible place.
It saddens me to think that anyone would find that type of humor funny. How do you know that I am not involved with rescue missions to help exploited women such as those to find shelters from abusive husbands they have chosen to marry just to get out of the country they were living in, so they could "come to America".
It is SAD, NOT FUNNY. How do you know that there aren't any women who are trapped in a horrible abusive or slave type marriage reading these forums looking desperately for some form of comfort from other "Christians" but they come across some "Christian" who thinks it's funny to make fun of what they themselves did? Many exploited women are bought for a price by ungoldy men who think nothing of taking advantage of their ignorance vulnerabilitie, and THAT is never funny no matter how you look at it. There is NOTHING funny about it. And there should never be any reasoning that to make fun of horrible situations in which someone is desperately seeking to find a mate, or even willing to be exploited in order to do so or to get out of a horrible situations. Joking about dating is one thing, but joking about exploited people is not funny. Sorry, I really dont' want that type of sense of humor.
Dave Slayer,
God Bless you on your journey to meeting some good Christian women who don't take advantage of your kind-heartedness or prey upon vulnerabilities in time of need. I pray the Lord bring good friends into your life who are accountable for their words and actions and are a good exmple for you in your walk with Our Lord over us: Jesus the Christ. I pray the Lord bring people into your life who are encouraging you in looking to the Goodness of the Lord as an example for you to follow and lead your life. I pray the Lord bring people into your life who aren't afraid to rebuke ungodly behaviors so as to not hinder your spiritual growth.
Pray the Lord help all brethren to see that, certain 'so called' "types of humor" are just not appropriate, types that are subject to offending people who have come out of horribly sad situations. Pray the Lord show brethren precautions, and consideration for those who are fresh out of horrible places such as having been exploited, are still hurting from the abuse, from the mistakes, from the vulnerable stituations they so ignorantly have put them selves into... and that perhaps they are here "right in front of "Christian brethren" reading/seeing that what they have presented as example to them.
God Bless.
researcher
Member
Adullam said:At home with the children!
LOL. Funny John! How about, "Knitting a sweater"
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Guest
Guest
Relax, no one is talking about women who are abused or trafficked.Relic said:
minnesota said:
minesota said:
If you don't condone any of that then why make fun of it? It's contradictory and like saying you don't condone it, but you don't have anything against making jokes about it... because in humor, anything goes.... Is that it?
Listen buddy, "christian brethren", I happen to help women who have been in a variety of abusive stituations, some of them are from those very type of situations you made a joke about. Do you think that any of these women who read that "so called "funny joke" you presented would have a good laugh about it? You may think it's funny, and you have your right to think so. I happen to have my right in thinking it's not funny. So if you feel that I'm the one who needs to relax about making that type of humor righteous, then that's between you and the Holy Spirit. I'll relax when the Holy Spirit tells me I don't have to speak up anymore about the tears brought about by women who have read that type of humor being presented on a "Christian based forum". would you like to wipe the tears from your daughters eyes after she's been abused and/or let herself get into being exploited in such a manner and then she reads a "joke" like that and starts crying all over again? And you tell me to relax? Do you realize the these forums are accessable to the whole world and you really don't know who is reading what you have written, as to whether it is encouraging to them or just brings about the peeling off of the scab of wounds that are in the process of being healed? I don't want to participate in laughing at "so called jokes" that are bringing tears to the wounded who have not yet healed from abuse of such situations. "Russian brides.com....Asian hotties, Orient Brides dot com. They're cheap. They all love you. (Well, for a few years anyway.) And you get to choose from a wide selection." Really, I don't see that any much different than making p o r n jokes but then going onto saying, 'I don't in any way approve of p o r n' . Please, think about that. And before you come back at me with some remark telling me to relax... consider that... the women I help, some have come out of that horrible world of p o r n including selling themselves for whatever reason! So, please think about that. I care for the broken hearted and will not joke around about anything of the sort even if I don't condone the practice. To me and the women I help... there is nothing funny about making jokes about selling oneself, for any reason. Rather than be on the defensive and telling me to relax, it was just a joke... I pray you consider how many people feel about 'that type of humor'. You have every right to joke as you wish... but that is between you and the Holy Spirit. I find nothing wrong with good clean humor... And really I don't think anyone has any say so about that to the contrary. Peace... I mean no attack upon you here. I'm just voicing my opinion in regard to and in consideration of the women I help. May you find Peace over what I have presented here in consideration of those who are still very sensitive to jesting of such nature and are healing from the trama of such personal abuses.
God, Bless this forum, allow Holy Spirit truth and revelation be preferred over loose, carnal, and worldy discussion. I care about the women I've been helping Lord. Please let these men of honor be a good example here for those who are hurting, wanting to be loved as much as any other Christian, and please Lord, protect the hearts of those who are still in the process of healing from abuse and are seeking to find Godly Christian counsel from other Christians. Dear God, we come to a Christian forum for godly advice, for clean humor, for godly discussion. Please Lord, Bless this forum and the people who are here to represent your principles. And Dear Lord, Bless Dave Slayer along his journey in meeting Good Christian women who care about his welfare and his character as being one of representing Your type of Love. Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.... Dear Lord we are all in need of your Salvation from ungodly behaviors and speech. Lord bless us all. And Dear God, let not rebellion or scorn reside when self discipline is needed in any of us. And dear Lord, let not these people hate me and tell me I am wrong for speaking what is only of your Truth and my caring for the women I help.
Peace be with you, and God Bless.
Nick
Member
Minnesota: while I found that funny, it is clear that other members didn't, so maybe it's time to drop it and respect Relic's position.
Relic: try not to take minnesota's humor personally, I'm sure minnesota didn't mean to offend you or anyone else. I am sorry the position you are in.
Relic: try not to take minnesota's humor personally, I'm sure minnesota didn't mean to offend you or anyone else. I am sorry the position you are in.
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Guest
Guest
Fair enough.Nick_29 said:
No disrespect was ever intended towards Relic's situation.Nick_29 said: