P
PrincessA2J
Guest
:smt117
How Some Famous People Might have answered the age old question....
**Why did the chicken cross the road???**
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side
DR. SEUSS
id the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!
GRANDPA :In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY :To die. In the rain.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road .. it transcended it.
MICHAEL SCHUMACHER; it was an instinctive maneuver, the chicken obviously didn't see the road until he had already started to cross.
TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
SADDAM HUSSEIN :This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER : You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"
BILL GATES : I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook -- and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?
KEN STARR :I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the behest of the President of the United States of America in an effort to distract law enforcement officials and the American public from the criminal wrongdoing our highest elected official has been trying to cover up. As a result, the chicken is just another pawn in the president's ongoing and elaborate scheme to obstruct justice and undermine the rule of law. For that reason, my staff intends to offer the chicken unconditional immunity provided he cooperates fully with our investigation. Furthermore, the chicken will not be permitted to reach the other side of the road until our investigation and any Congressional follow-up investigations have been completed. (We also are investigating whether Sid Blumenthal has leaked information to the Rev. Jerry Falwell, alleging the chicken to be homosexual in an effort to discredit any useful testimony the bird may have to offer, or at least to ruffle his feathers.)
BILL CLINTON : I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?
BILL CLINTON: The chicken did NOT cross the road. Not a single time.
Never. (It was a boulevard.)
HILLARY CLINTON: It was part of a vast right-wing conspiracy against my husband.
RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. : I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN : The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
PLATO: For the greater good.
HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
FREUD : The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
EINSTEIN : Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
KARL MARX :It was an historical inevitability.
DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
THE BIBLE : And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS : I missed one?
:smt117
How Some Famous People Might have answered the age old question....
**Why did the chicken cross the road???**
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side
DR. SEUSS
id the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!GRANDPA :In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY :To die. In the rain.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road .. it transcended it.
MICHAEL SCHUMACHER; it was an instinctive maneuver, the chicken obviously didn't see the road until he had already started to cross.
TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
SADDAM HUSSEIN :This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER : You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"
BILL GATES : I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook -- and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?
KEN STARR :I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the behest of the President of the United States of America in an effort to distract law enforcement officials and the American public from the criminal wrongdoing our highest elected official has been trying to cover up. As a result, the chicken is just another pawn in the president's ongoing and elaborate scheme to obstruct justice and undermine the rule of law. For that reason, my staff intends to offer the chicken unconditional immunity provided he cooperates fully with our investigation. Furthermore, the chicken will not be permitted to reach the other side of the road until our investigation and any Congressional follow-up investigations have been completed. (We also are investigating whether Sid Blumenthal has leaked information to the Rev. Jerry Falwell, alleging the chicken to be homosexual in an effort to discredit any useful testimony the bird may have to offer, or at least to ruffle his feathers.)
BILL CLINTON : I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?
BILL CLINTON: The chicken did NOT cross the road. Not a single time.
Never. (It was a boulevard.)
HILLARY CLINTON: It was part of a vast right-wing conspiracy against my husband.
RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. : I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN : The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
PLATO: For the greater good.
HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
FREUD : The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
EINSTEIN : Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
KARL MARX :It was an historical inevitability.
DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
THE BIBLE : And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS : I missed one?
:smt117