S
Sadie101
Guest
A while back, i lived in a communal Christian home. Dating was not allowed and we had to treat each other like brother's and sister's in the Lord.
The elder of the house, who did not live there, would visit at times. One day he came to me saying he needed to talk to me. He said i seemed depressed, what's up? I told him i had a crush on the deacon of the house. He looked very shocked and displeased, but didn't say much.
After that..i felt very guilty. And like a fool, i felt i needed to tell the deacon i liked him, to sorta relieve my guilty feelings or something and get things out in the open.
Anyway, when i told him i liked him, he was very surprised...and he said "My flesh eats it up".
I also told him i had been dreaming of him a lot lately, but that they weren't anything sexual.
He kinda got quiet when i told him that, then said a few more things that i cant remember now, and then quickly closed the conversation.
After that meeting, he literally avoided me like the plague.
About 2 days later, the elder came by again and asked me to leave. No explanations or anything.
So basically, i got kicked out because i liked the deacon.
Before i left, i spoke to the deacon one more time and started crying in front of him. He told me dating wasn't allowed there, and that it wasn't the Lords will..etc...
And before he signed off, he told me to repent and ask for forgiveness.
Now my questions are...
What did i do wrong?
Why did he tell me to repent?
And what did he mean by "his flesh eats it up"?
The elder of the house, who did not live there, would visit at times. One day he came to me saying he needed to talk to me. He said i seemed depressed, what's up? I told him i had a crush on the deacon of the house. He looked very shocked and displeased, but didn't say much.
After that..i felt very guilty. And like a fool, i felt i needed to tell the deacon i liked him, to sorta relieve my guilty feelings or something and get things out in the open.
Anyway, when i told him i liked him, he was very surprised...and he said "My flesh eats it up".
I also told him i had been dreaming of him a lot lately, but that they weren't anything sexual.
He kinda got quiet when i told him that, then said a few more things that i cant remember now, and then quickly closed the conversation.
After that meeting, he literally avoided me like the plague.
About 2 days later, the elder came by again and asked me to leave. No explanations or anything.
So basically, i got kicked out because i liked the deacon.
Before i left, i spoke to the deacon one more time and started crying in front of him. He told me dating wasn't allowed there, and that it wasn't the Lords will..etc...
And before he signed off, he told me to repent and ask for forgiveness.
Now my questions are...
What did i do wrong?
Why did he tell me to repent?
And what did he mean by "his flesh eats it up"?