[__ Prayer __] working w/ dad tomorrow...

[Christ_empowered]

please pray. the neighbors yell sometimes, even when dad's out with me. its fun and funny to them, i guess, plus...my parents are on the tail end of upwardly mobile. mama's retired, dad will retire in the not too distant future. they're one of the few upper middle class/well to do couples in the neighborhood, so i think people take out their problems with them on -me-, because im unemployed and 'schizophrenic' or whatever, stigmatized, etc. anyway...

i pray to do a good job. he'll pay me, work starts at a reasonable hour and won't last too, too long...then i should have the rest of the day to do whatevah, and...yeah. im kind of looking forward to it, but i get tired of the stuff that comes my way. i think its because i was a non-entity, laughing stock, and now im...

healthy, intelligent, labeled with 'severe mental illness,' supported by disability and my (now, fairly recently) well to do parents, so...basically, everything about me rubs a lot of people the wrong way, or so it seems...

but i do want to spend time with dad and make some $$$ and just...get out of my head, into the groove of doing things...maybe a job, eventually....

yup yup. thanks for your prayers.

 

[Tessa]

Enjoy working with your dad tomorrow. I agree that doing things takes your mind off everything else that is happening.
Praying for your search for the right job.

 

[Christ_empowered]

thanks, tessa. im wondering...

how much of my 'recovery from severe mental illness' is just growing up? i mean, that alone is a miracle, brought to me by Christ, but...

if i wasn't labeled with 'severe mental illness,' id be dead or in prison (read: dead, shortly). as is...

i dunno. its kinda funny, i guess. i get disability, i get the space i need in which to grow up in Christ, as a New Creation in Christ Jesus...

and the same industry that destroyed me in round 1, before Jesus, is facilitating a life -in- society, with Jesus.

anyway...i do look forward to it, kind of. dad can be very kind, he really can be, and im thankful. i think...he's always wanted me to grow up and do something, and i had so many problems until fairly recently, i just couldn't. seriously. now..

thanks to Christ, I'm healthy and smart, new personality, and...I -can- do things, Praise God! But...j-o-b? doing what, exactly? where? ugh. could be a whole, whole lot worse. this isn't even bad, not really, just...well, i guess one should careful what one prays+asks for, LOL. I don't want to float thru life, I don't want to be brain damaged, I want to be completely different...

well, here you go. no more tardive dyskinesia, no more dementia, high(er) IQ, no frontal lobe syndrome, different personality, and...

its a fallen world we all live in, kiddo. :-( bleh. i -am- thankful for The Lord's blessings, I just...I guess it just takes a while to adjust, that's all.

 

[Tessa]

I think we all struggle with life CE
You seem to be growing, moving, recovering so quickly. When you think back of all those things you suffered WOW look at you now. God is wonderful the way He loves us. You are well blessed. The love you have for the Lord shines through.

 

[Pegasus]

As always....take one task and one day at a time. Enjoy the time with your dad.

 

[Christ_empowered]

thanks, Pegasus. one day at a time...one foot in front of the other...

 

[Christ_empowered]

just a lil update...

did 3 1/2 hours of work. dad rounded it up to 4, because he's awesome. I sense growing...genuine warmth, a good relationship in the making. not just because he gives me $$$ and such, but because...he really cares, and I think it helps that I'm in my own space, now...not in his house, indefinitely. LOL.

so, yeah. the neighbors mostly kept quiet, cuz dad was near me. i get the sense that people are just cruel, wherever you go. its...satan+human nature, as it plays out in my former zipcode, basically. ugh.

on the plus side, im now very healthy, physically. i mean, i need to drop lbs and build muscle, but i definitely don't have AIDS or cancer, plus all my premature aging is gone, no need for my friendly acquaintance the esthetician's help, not now...ive been made genuinely healthy, and im truly appreciative. God is good!

the going rumor is that i have at least 1 felony, blah blah blah, and a judge took pity on me or...i don't know. it only matters if it puts my safety at risk, which i don't think will be an issue now, because im healthy and my parents are now higher status and behind me. if i was poor and/or obviously dying of AIDS, then...I'd stay home all day.

ok. a good, productive 1/2 day of painting and...learning. im finding that i -can- do things, now, thanks to Christ. I need help, I need to be taught, but I Have raw material to work with, Praise God!

thanks for the prayers, y'all.