Seem fat women have more of a class problem then men.
12 years i served on the local water board part of that time i was
FAT. My thoughts/ideas were brushed over folks did not want to listen to me etc.. Well i quickly lost 129 pounds and what a difference....
Much of that difference could well have come from me my attitude, confidence level, etc
I do know i was treated differently. Differently by public, press and the other board members. While fat i was an object that describes it pretty good.
In simple words a big
FAT YES
I have kept most all off!!!
I have kept most all off!!!
Good for you, Reba! That's an achievement!
It very well could have been the confidence and attitude though that changed people's perspective of you.
My situation, surprisingly enough is opposite...I started out thin, but very shy and awkward. I had zero confidence and folks didn't listen to me or value any of my opinions. As I got older and more in tune with who I was and especially more knowledgeable about my various jobs in life, my confidence grew and I also ceased to be as shy.
When I became fat (I packed on over 80 lbs in a two year time frame), I was felt sick, my hair was falling out, my fingernails were yellowed and bumpy...but I still was confident in my ability to do my job and in my friendships. So, I didn't get the "invisible woman" treatment I was so used to before.
When I was in 6th grade, I weighed about 90lbs. We moved from an extremely rural area and school (17 people in the entire school, including teachers) to a large town. Early in the school year, I had one friend, but she moved...for the entire rest of the year, I spoke to no one except during class or when I was being mercilessly bullied.
When I was in high school and college, I weighed around 105 lbs...and never dated, was never called upon to participate in classes or things...invisible woman, that was me. I didn't have any confidence and my attitude was a poor one, I thought I was smarter than everyone else. My Junior and Senior got better as I had settled in and had friends. I did make it to my proms. Only two dates in 4 years and one was "arranged" (not fun) and one was with a friend, not a romantic interest (but we had a blast at my senior prom!).
When I got out of college and moved into adult life, I put on 15 lbs...I weighed around 120 throughout my 20's and 30's. A little weighty for someone my size, but still within "normal" range. But, in my early 20's I still didn't have any boyfriends or dated or anything and I was still very shy. In my mid-20's, I went out a couple of times, then when I was 28 I got a boyfriend, we became engaged and it all ended very badly for me.
I was gaining life experiences. As I moved through my 30's those life experiences kicked in and my shyness went away and my confidence kicked in. My 30's were my greatest years, however, it was then that the thyroid went wonky. I became fat. Not only fat, but obese.
FAT-FAT-FAT!!!
And yet, I received steady promotions, I dated more when I was in my 30's than I ever had before, then I met Steve and we got married.
I know that this tends to buck against common perceptions, but I truly do think that confidence and attitude makes all the difference in the world. Back when I was thin, I had neither and was walked over all the time. By the time I became truly obese, I had both confidence and an attitude (I'm cute, I'm friendly, I'm smart, but give me any lip and I'll take you out!) and people responded very positively to me. I once heard a supervisor of one sales floor ask permission of the supervisor of the sales floor I was on if he could "borrow" me for a tricky bid they were working on. The answer (I could overhear this because this was cubicle land) was "No, you can't have her...I need her too much right now."
Confidence and attitude really make a difference. I dressed better, kept my hair better, looked people in the face, made a point to remember their names, used their names when talking to them (amazing how people respond to that, and it was hard for me, I'm terrible with names, I truly am). Guys flirted with me, but I kept that to a minimum because most of them were guys I wouldn't go out with.
Being overweight does tend to make people feel shy and have less confidence. So, the treatment they receive tends to be be blamed on the obvious, the weight. But, for me, I found the weight not to be an issue when I had confidence and a pretty spunky attitude.