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Scared we won’t end well. Should we still date?

deepcarter78

Member
Joined
Jan 16, 2018
Messages
1
I’ve heard people say that when you love someone, you have to be prepared to let them go someday. This thought has been stuck in my head in all of my relationships. In hindsight, I think this is why it never worked out with my previous girlfriends. I tried going on a romance tour thinking I wasn’t compatible with any local girl in my hometown. Then, I met this girl from the tour and so far, we are doing okay.


The problem though is that I’m worried that our relationship wouldn’t end well and I would end up heartbroken. It’s not that I’m being pessimistic about this it’s just that I always had this fear in my head since then. Should I continue dating my girlfriend even though I know I would have to let them go someday? A relationship is already hard as it is. I know long distance relationships would be even harder.


I need legit advice on how to overcome my fear. What assurance do I have that things would be okay? Please help me.
 

th1b.taylor

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Joined
Dec 4, 2010
Messages
15,569
Gender
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Yes
To love and to have won or to have lost is every bit worth it if you just pay attention to what is happening. I have been dumped into File 13 three ties but when I met my forth wife, it went very well, still is. You will not find anything more rewarding that a tender and caring wife.
 
S

SytheF

Guest
I’ve heard people say that when you love someone, you have to be prepared to let them go someday. This thought has been stuck in my head in all of my relationships. In hindsight, I think this is why it never worked out with my previous girlfriends. I tried going on a romance tour thinking I wasn’t compatible with any local girl in my hometown. Then, I met this girl from the tour and so far, we are doing okay.


The problem though is that I’m worried that our relationship wouldn’t end well and I would end up heartbroken. It’s not that I’m being pessimistic about this it’s just that I always had this fear in my head since then. Should I continue dating my girlfriend even though I know I would have to let them go someday? A relationship is already hard as it is. I know long distance relationships would be even harder.


I need legit advice on how to overcome my fear. What assurance do I have that things would be okay? Please help me.
That first part of your post? That's an old saying that really shouldn't be taken to heart. Otherwise you'll sabotage the potential in a relationship by overshadowing it with the expectation it is going to end.
And that can insure it does.
That old saying went like this. If you love something set it free. If it comes back to you it is yours. If it doesn't it never was.

That's really a bad saying. Because if you love someone you don't test them by throwing them away. You enjoy the relationship because you first love yourself. When you love you then you aren't needy. As in, needing someone else to show you you're lovable. They can't fill your holes. Only you can face yourself and know who you really are. When you have a healthy prosperous relationship with your self first you'll know that you're lovable to others. And then you really will be free to enjoy a relationship with someone else.

That old saying got a bit of an edit years after it became a novelty. Like posters, key chains, and tee shirts. It went like this.
If you love something set it free. If it comes back to you it is yours. If it doesn't hunt it down and kill it.

That's not a good bit of advice either.
If you enter a relationship expecting it to end you're going to do yourself a disservice because you're going to be dwelling on the negative rather than enjoying the present moment. This is a real truth. And if you live long enough like some who are experienced in life a little more than the young blessings that enter this forum for young people , you'll learn this is indeed a fact. Ready?

There's only now.

Yesterday no longer exists. Nothing done can ever be undone. It is what it is. Take from it the positive. Even if it was negative. Because surviving the negative and realizing how you came through is a positive reinforcement for dealing with moving forward.
The future doesn't exist either. In fact, there's no guarantee you'll see it. Anything can happen in a split second. And then all those plans you had for what if, if only, and I shoulda, stop.
That leaves right now. Enjoy it. You're made in the image of the greatest most creative spirit that exists. And its essence begins as love and grows into everything that you can ever feel. The good and the bad. (Isaiah 45:7)
Trust you're worth the best. And that includes a loving relationship. But first, because you are young, get to know who you are. Find those traits you love about yourself. That you respect. Respect is an absolute must. For self. and for anyone you find that you think you are in love with. You can't love someone if you don't like them first. And part of like is respecting them as who they are. If you don't feel that, don't waste your time. And be honest with yourself in everything you do. Never ever settle just to be occupied with something or someone to do. You'll be losing out in your life. And when you're old and look back and realize you did settle , it's too late. Becasue you're only going to grow older. And eventually you'll die.

Don't die looking back on a past that no longer exists so as to live those last years, days, months, weeks, hours, regretting what you did and wishing you could do it over. That doesn't happen.
There's only now. Take your time. Savor life. Grow older and grow wiser. Listen to advice. Don't think you know it all. Because even 80 year old's have something to learn still.
That's the joy of life. Savoring what it has to offer. First you have to know you're worth your dreams coming true.

All the best,
S.
 

Brock

Member
Joined
Mar 17, 2017
Messages
1,349
I’ve heard people say that when you love someone, you have to be prepared to let them go someday. This thought has been stuck in my head in all of my relationships. In hindsight, I think this is why it never worked out with my previous girlfriends. I tried going on a romance tour thinking I wasn’t compatible with any local girl in my hometown. Then, I met this girl from the tour and so far, we are doing okay.


The problem though is that I’m worried that our relationship wouldn’t end well and I would end up heartbroken. It’s not that I’m being pessimistic about this it’s just that I always had this fear in my head since then. Should I continue dating my girlfriend even though I know I would have to let them go someday? A relationship is already hard as it is. I know long distance relationships would be even harder.


I need legit advice on how to overcome my fear. What assurance do I have that things would be okay? Please help me.
Well I've never had a girlfriend but I know that fear is of the devil not God. And everything goes away at some point In your case it can be a break up or death. But don't worry about because worrying so much can ruin your life it will make you depressed I'm speaking from experience.
 

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